She was still processing it all. Aware of all her conflicted emotions. Aware of the fact that even as she spoke to Clint, she had known there was high chances that Matt would be following every word that was uttered in that room. And that he couldn't help it.
Kate wasn't mad at him. Or at the circumstances. But was also becoming very aware of what he was doing right now. Matt had not hesitated on reaching out, on placing that rough palm that radiated the warmth of his mug of tea and covering Kate's hands with it. It was what Matt always did with everyone, wasn't it? Making sure he could somehow protect everyone and shelter them from any form of pain. Whether it was at night and at his most feral or while using a suit and being almost nurturing. Matt Murdock was a man that gave it all to make sure people were cared after.
And Kate could tell. He was desperate to say the right thing and protect her right now. Protect his friend of something he didn't have control over. Protect Kate while trying to have somewhat of a normal life, while trying his damnest not to make her feel like he had betrayed her.
"Matt..." Letting go of the packet of sugar, she pulled one of her hands from under that calloused but gentle palm of his, covering it with one of her own. As warm as his hand was, Kate found that the back of it was cold. Nobody, nobody was there to protect Matt himself. Nobody showed the same care, nobody was there for him to try and make sure he wasn't driving himself mad with all those worries.
She didn't want to give him more reasons to worry.
Out of the blue, Kate chuckled softly.
"Matt, I'm fine. I promise." Was guilt eating him up? It was what he did, after all. The Chatolic guilt they always joked about. "I - I can tell how much you're worrying about me and how you're trying to make sure I'm not..." Kate sighed, shaking her head. "I'm okay. You're doing the right thing and - And it would be so wrong to leave Heather alone. She needs to be your priority and you're super allowed to want to have something close to a normal life." Her snort came out a little easier now. Because she knew she had a point.
"You don't have to do things perfectly. Or carry the weight of things being perfect. I can tell you're... You're so worried about how you're pulling the band-aid off, you know?" But he shouldn't be mothering her like that.
He had even told Heather about her? About how he worried about her?
Kate leaned over the counter to be a little closer to him, her voice quieter but firm. "We are partners. And I couldn't have a better one. You know I trust you with my life." For good reason. Even when he could barely stand up himself, Matt had found her in the middle of the night. He had carried her somewhere safe where Claire had saved her. They both did. "I value this so much, how you don't want me to be upset because things are not turning how I want them to be."
What does that make her, though? A spoiled child that's upset over not getting her way? She knew Matt would never mean that, would never consider her that. But it was hard not to see herself that way. Because yes, she is upset. But he is not letting go of that plan, he is letting her know that if circusmtances were other way, he'd go for it. Her home and Danny's will still help people and their mission. They'll make it work out.
"But I want you to trust me not to be another source of things that give you extra worries." She squeezed his hands. "I'm here for you. You can also tell me about the stuff you worry about. You don't have to always say the right thing and worry about how I'll react." Had he been dwelling on these things since he heard her and Clint talk? No. Before that.
"Is this why you were so quiet during dinner?" He had been messaging Heather. He was fixing things while wondering how he'd share the news. "Look, I get it. In your position, it would be eating he up, Matt." Without thinking, she started rubbing the back of his hand, unconsiously trying to give him a gesture with as much comfort as she was desperatedly trying to find with her words. "What I'm trying to say is, I really appreciate how you're looking after me right now. But I also wanna look after you by not giving you more reasons to brood on stuff. I'll be fine. We are gonna be fine. You have a right to give priority to your personal life too."
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Kate wasn't mad at him. Or at the circumstances. But was also becoming very aware of what he was doing right now. Matt had not hesitated on reaching out, on placing that rough palm that radiated the warmth of his mug of tea and covering Kate's hands with it. It was what Matt always did with everyone, wasn't it? Making sure he could somehow protect everyone and shelter them from any form of pain. Whether it was at night and at his most feral or while using a suit and being almost nurturing. Matt Murdock was a man that gave it all to make sure people were cared after.
And Kate could tell. He was desperate to say the right thing and protect her right now. Protect his friend of something he didn't have control over. Protect Kate while trying to have somewhat of a normal life, while trying his damnest not to make her feel like he had betrayed her.
"Matt..." Letting go of the packet of sugar, she pulled one of her hands from under that calloused but gentle palm of his, covering it with one of her own. As warm as his hand was, Kate found that the back of it was cold. Nobody, nobody was there to protect Matt himself. Nobody showed the same care, nobody was there for him to try and make sure he wasn't driving himself mad with all those worries.
She didn't want to give him more reasons to worry.
Out of the blue, Kate chuckled softly.
"Matt, I'm fine. I promise." Was guilt eating him up? It was what he did, after all. The Chatolic guilt they always joked about. "I - I can tell how much you're worrying about me and how you're trying to make sure I'm not..." Kate sighed, shaking her head. "I'm okay. You're doing the right thing and - And it would be so wrong to leave Heather alone. She needs to be your priority and you're super allowed to want to have something close to a normal life." Her snort came out a little easier now. Because she knew she had a point.
"You don't have to do things perfectly. Or carry the weight of things being perfect. I can tell you're... You're so worried about how you're pulling the band-aid off, you know?" But he shouldn't be mothering her like that.
He had even told Heather about her? About how he worried about her?
Kate leaned over the counter to be a little closer to him, her voice quieter but firm. "We are partners. And I couldn't have a better one. You know I trust you with my life." For good reason. Even when he could barely stand up himself, Matt had found her in the middle of the night. He had carried her somewhere safe where Claire had saved her. They both did. "I value this so much, how you don't want me to be upset because things are not turning how I want them to be."
What does that make her, though? A spoiled child that's upset over not getting her way? She knew Matt would never mean that, would never consider her that. But it was hard not to see herself that way. Because yes, she is upset. But he is not letting go of that plan, he is letting her know that if circusmtances were other way, he'd go for it. Her home and Danny's will still help people and their mission. They'll make it work out.
"But I want you to trust me not to be another source of things that give you extra worries." She squeezed his hands. "I'm here for you. You can also tell me about the stuff you worry about. You don't have to always say the right thing and worry about how I'll react." Had he been dwelling on these things since he heard her and Clint talk? No. Before that.
"Is this why you were so quiet during dinner?" He had been messaging Heather. He was fixing things while wondering how he'd share the news. "Look, I get it. In your position, it would be eating he up, Matt." Without thinking, she started rubbing the back of his hand, unconsiously trying to give him a gesture with as much comfort as she was desperatedly trying to find with her words. "What I'm trying to say is, I really appreciate how you're looking after me right now. But I also wanna look after you by not giving you more reasons to brood on stuff. I'll be fine. We are gonna be fine. You have a right to give priority to your personal life too."