Later they might joke about this. About how this is one of those rare moments when Kate finds herself speechless. They're both too tired, probably too tired to be having this conversation to begin with, one with so much honesty and vulnerability.
It was Kate's heart who seemed to be doing all the talking instead.
Before she could say anything, she watched him groan, limp, finally moving away from the door. Kate took a step back, giving him room as she figured he was heading upstairs to thankfully finally get some rest. But she could also see his struggle, how he chose a closer spot by heading into the office. As Matt finally settled on a chair, Kate closed the door behind them, aware that Daredevil would be granted his privacy. Nobody but Karen would dare to interrupt that.
The place felt cold without any heating and, with only a single candle on top of a desk to guide her, Kate scanned the room in the hopes of finding some blanket, something to cover him up. But Matt spoke up again, leaving her speechless for the second time.
No, she had never heard about his past, about how some accident was to blame for the lost of his sight. Or how he had coped with it. With what he obviously considered his calling. Her heart broke into even more pieces of the fragments the last few hours had left her with. It broke for the scared little boy that he had once been, for the broken and lost man that he was now.
"Matt..." Closing the distance between them, Kate carefully placed her hands on each side of his helmet. She waited for any signs of protest. When he didn't, she gently removed the mask.
Talking to Daredevil wasn't an option. Not to those inexpressive scarlet eyes. Matt might not be able to focus with his own, but he was always attentive. And even if he couldn't see her back, she still always feels that those soulfull eyes somehow connect with her. Because he was the kinda guy who won't be offering you his back. He went out of his way to make people comfortable. Matt seeked that connection in every way he could.
"I'm not - I'm not gonna pretend I know you like Foggy did or like Karen does." Careful and almost with solemnity, Kate left the mask on the desk by their side, pulling a chair closer, until she was able to sit pretty much within his personal space. He had pulled her in first, sharing such intimate thoughts.
"But I know, I swear that I have no doubt, not even the faintest doubt, that Foggy believed in you. Karen believes in you. I believe in you too. Because --" Her fingertips ghosted over his face, just like his did before when he felt Kate's face for the first time back at the hospital. It had been a silent request, permission to let him see through her. Now, she asked of him the same thing as she cupped his face in the hopes that he'd listen, that whatever spark was still left in him would actually listen to what she had to say.
"Because you are all of those things. Yes, you wanted to kill Bullseye. Tonight I almost thought I lost you and trust me, I wanted to kill Fisk myself." Matt himself thought she had been joking, she knew he trusted she was a better person than that. But that was the raw truth. "This is who I believe that you are, Matt. Someone who can be full of rage and pain, but also the kindest person I know. One that can sacrifice himself even for his biggest enemy, because you are a good man. You are human, with flaws, but with such a big heart. Giving your everything for the people you care about. Your loved ones or strangers."
She stroked his cheekbones with her thumbs, aware of how the more she spoke, the more her voice broke. But Kate sounded as firm as ever.
"And if I can see that, I bet you, I bet you that without a doubt Foggy saw much more. He was proud of you, flaws or not. You are so much better than you allow yourself to believe. You deserve to forgive yourself."
For losing Foggy. For letting that darkness overpower him when pain took over. For doubting himself.
Edited (Sorry about the edits, but this wonderful thread doesn't deserve all those typos.) 2025-04-24 00:04 (UTC)
[OOC: ETA Stick, because I refuse to forget him. But also to say please edit as much as needed! It doesn't bother me, and I love our threads, too. :) I don't mind typos, but I also get wanting to make things perfect. It's all groovy.]
Matt didn't protest as Kate lifted his helmet. His hair curled against his brow, sticky and damp with sweat and grime. His brown eyes, the same color as the coffee he insisted be prepared right, were dark and unfocused but indeed full of emotion. They only closed as Kate explored his face. Felt over the stubble and the age lines. The planes and angles. Perhaps committed it to memory in her way, though her manner of seeing would always be different - something they might learn from one another rather than divide.
He reached up eventually to lightly place his hands over her forearms, running down them until he took her hands in his. His chest squeezed at what she said. He wanted it to be true. Desperately. He wanted to think that Foggy wouldn't have given up on him, and that they people who still believed in him did so without cause for doubt.
He wanted to do right by them.
"It's funny, isn't it?" There was a faint, tired smile on Matt's face. A smile of sorrow and of remembrance. Of threading the past into the present to carry into the future. It hurt to mention Foggy. Early on, Matt hadn't even said his name. Now he offered bits of memories so that they might not be forgotten, to further tie himself to Kate. "Everyone is just one person in the world. Yet to someone, that one person is the world. If we're lucky." Foggy had been Matt's world. He'd also been the world to so many others. Family, friends. Individuals who he'd saved through his legal prowess. The world was worse off for that loss, but it had been better for the time it had while Foggy had lived.
He hoped that Kate had people like that in her life, too.
He hoped she knew that she was that person to even more than she might think.
"I guess the only thing left to do is get up off the mat and try, right?" He didn't quite forgive himself yet. Didn't quite fully believe that he could do this, wage war against Fisk with him at the helm. He was certain though that he had to try. There was no way Foggy would have taken this lying down, either. Nor Jack, nor Elektra. Not Lantom or Stick. Not Hector. Not so many people who were living too, people who were rising up and needed a direction in which to go. Somewhere to look.
Well, while the city was dark, Matt was still able to see. He hoped that was still the case even when the dawn arise.
He squeezed her hands.
"Let's get some rest. In the morning, we're going to war."
Kate had been so worried. Since the car, it had been eating her up. Not just because for the briefest of moments she had convinced of the damange she'd left on their relationship. But also over Matt. She worried for that blow he'd taken to the heart. How many blows. Since Foggy died, he had taken the punishment over and over again. Silently and with that charming smile of his, but a sad note he couldn't quite wipe off his face. Kate had noticed it every time.
Even now she had seen the sadness as he offered a small smile, a little prize for the earnesty of Kate's words, she wondered. Had that worked? Did he believe everything she said? She had no doubt that Matt knew they were true to Kate, but could he believe them himself? Will he ever forgive himself for what was not his fault but had still taken Foggy from him?
Its funny, isn't it?
She didn't know if it was funny, she had been too focused on how he had touched her arms, how his hands had explored her skin until they reached her hands. Kate knew that was a language on itself for Matt and her heart was somehow trying to translate it. Not a romantic hidden meaning, but the connection.
It's time for Kate to smile with a little sadness. For the memories. For the many friends that she has and that came to mind, none matching exactly the description Matt talked about. Neither did her past few romantic relationships. She might have been someone's person for a while, but it was brief. Short-lived as he would see it, given his age. It's nothing like what Matt and Foggy had.
Kate grieved, for a while. But grieving a broken relationship is one thing. Nothing prepares you to the grief of losing a close friend. Losing your parents makes you an orphan. Losing a partner a widow or widower. But there's no word for someone who loses a friend.
"I think it's only been my parents for me," she agrees quietly, not even considering for a second that he might be thinking differently of her and the people that surround Kate. Nowadays, she doesn't even know what to think of her relationship with her mom. But in her mother's heart? Even through the cracks, Kate is sure she still has a place in there. That Eleanor did everything she did to protect her daughter, in her own messed up way.
Matt squeezed her hands and Kate leaned forward, her forehead touching his brow.
"Can you move now? There's a couch here against that wall." Can he make it upstairs?
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streetlevel) wrote2024-12-23 08:39 pm
no subject
It was Kate's heart who seemed to be doing all the talking instead.
Before she could say anything, she watched him groan, limp, finally moving away from the door. Kate took a step back, giving him room as she figured he was heading upstairs to thankfully finally get some rest. But she could also see his struggle, how he chose a closer spot by heading into the office. As Matt finally settled on a chair, Kate closed the door behind them, aware that Daredevil would be granted his privacy. Nobody but Karen would dare to interrupt that.
The place felt cold without any heating and, with only a single candle on top of a desk to guide her, Kate scanned the room in the hopes of finding some blanket, something to cover him up. But Matt spoke up again, leaving her speechless for the second time.
No, she had never heard about his past, about how some accident was to blame for the lost of his sight. Or how he had coped with it. With what he obviously considered his calling. Her heart broke into even more pieces of the fragments the last few hours had left her with. It broke for the scared little boy that he had once been, for the broken and lost man that he was now.
"Matt..." Closing the distance between them, Kate carefully placed her hands on each side of his helmet. She waited for any signs of protest. When he didn't, she gently removed the mask.
Talking to Daredevil wasn't an option. Not to those inexpressive scarlet eyes. Matt might not be able to focus with his own, but he was always attentive. And even if he couldn't see her back, she still always feels that those soulfull eyes somehow connect with her. Because he was the kinda guy who won't be offering you his back. He went out of his way to make people comfortable. Matt seeked that connection in every way he could.
"I'm not - I'm not gonna pretend I know you like Foggy did or like Karen does." Careful and almost with solemnity, Kate left the mask on the desk by their side, pulling a chair closer, until she was able to sit pretty much within his personal space. He had pulled her in first, sharing such intimate thoughts.
"But I know, I swear that I have no doubt, not even the faintest doubt, that Foggy believed in you. Karen believes in you. I believe in you too. Because --" Her fingertips ghosted over his face, just like his did before when he felt Kate's face for the first time back at the hospital. It had been a silent request, permission to let him see through her. Now, she asked of him the same thing as she cupped his face in the hopes that he'd listen, that whatever spark was still left in him would actually listen to what she had to say.
"Because you are all of those things. Yes, you wanted to kill Bullseye. Tonight I almost thought I lost you and trust me, I wanted to kill Fisk myself." Matt himself thought she had been joking, she knew he trusted she was a better person than that. But that was the raw truth. "This is who I believe that you are, Matt. Someone who can be full of rage and pain, but also the kindest person I know. One that can sacrifice himself even for his biggest enemy, because you are a good man. You are human, with flaws, but with such a big heart. Giving your everything for the people you care about. Your loved ones or strangers."
She stroked his cheekbones with her thumbs, aware of how the more she spoke, the more her voice broke. But Kate sounded as firm as ever.
"And if I can see that, I bet you, I bet you that without a doubt Foggy saw much more. He was proud of you, flaws or not. You are so much better than you allow yourself to believe. You deserve to forgive yourself."
For losing Foggy. For letting that darkness overpower him when pain took over. For doubting himself.
no subject
Matt didn't protest as Kate lifted his helmet. His hair curled against his brow, sticky and damp with sweat and grime. His brown eyes, the same color as the coffee he insisted be prepared right, were dark and unfocused but indeed full of emotion. They only closed as Kate explored his face. Felt over the stubble and the age lines. The planes and angles. Perhaps committed it to memory in her way, though her manner of seeing would always be different - something they might learn from one another rather than divide.
He reached up eventually to lightly place his hands over her forearms, running down them until he took her hands in his. His chest squeezed at what she said. He wanted it to be true. Desperately. He wanted to think that Foggy wouldn't have given up on him, and that they people who still believed in him did so without cause for doubt.
He wanted to do right by them.
"It's funny, isn't it?" There was a faint, tired smile on Matt's face. A smile of sorrow and of remembrance. Of threading the past into the present to carry into the future. It hurt to mention Foggy. Early on, Matt hadn't even said his name. Now he offered bits of memories so that they might not be forgotten, to further tie himself to Kate. "Everyone is just one person in the world. Yet to someone, that one person is the world. If we're lucky." Foggy had been Matt's world. He'd also been the world to so many others. Family, friends. Individuals who he'd saved through his legal prowess. The world was worse off for that loss, but it had been better for the time it had while Foggy had lived.
He hoped that Kate had people like that in her life, too.
He hoped she knew that she was that person to even more than she might think.
"I guess the only thing left to do is get up off the mat and try, right?" He didn't quite forgive himself yet. Didn't quite fully believe that he could do this, wage war against Fisk with him at the helm. He was certain though that he had to try. There was no way Foggy would have taken this lying down, either. Nor Jack, nor Elektra. Not Lantom or Stick. Not Hector. Not so many people who were living too, people who were rising up and needed a direction in which to go. Somewhere to look.
Well, while the city was dark, Matt was still able to see. He hoped that was still the case even when the dawn arise.
He squeezed her hands.
"Let's get some rest. In the morning, we're going to war."
no subject
Even now she had seen the sadness as he offered a small smile, a little prize for the earnesty of Kate's words, she wondered. Had that worked? Did he believe everything she said? She had no doubt that Matt knew they were true to Kate, but could he believe them himself? Will he ever forgive himself for what was not his fault but had still taken Foggy from him?
Its funny, isn't it?
She didn't know if it was funny, she had been too focused on how he had touched her arms, how his hands had explored her skin until they reached her hands. Kate knew that was a language on itself for Matt and her heart was somehow trying to translate it. Not a romantic hidden meaning, but the connection.
It's time for Kate to smile with a little sadness. For the memories. For the many friends that she has and that came to mind, none matching exactly the description Matt talked about. Neither did her past few romantic relationships. She might have been someone's person for a while, but it was brief. Short-lived as he would see it, given his age. It's nothing like what Matt and Foggy had.
Kate grieved, for a while. But grieving a broken relationship is one thing. Nothing prepares you to the grief of losing a close friend. Losing your parents makes you an orphan. Losing a partner a widow or widower. But there's no word for someone who loses a friend.
"I think it's only been my parents for me," she agrees quietly, not even considering for a second that he might be thinking differently of her and the people that surround Kate. Nowadays, she doesn't even know what to think of her relationship with her mom. But in her mother's heart? Even through the cracks, Kate is sure she still has a place in there. That Eleanor did everything she did to protect her daughter, in her own messed up way.
Matt squeezed her hands and Kate leaned forward, her forehead touching his brow.
"Can you move now? There's a couch here against that wall." Can he make it upstairs?