Almost aware of the shift in the atmosphere, Lucky moved his head on Matt's lap, whimpering as he demanded attention. It was Kate who reached out, stroking the dog soothingly as Matt confessed what he had gone through these last few days. His worries. How that affected him last night. She understood Lucky, as Kate felt like whimpering a little herself.
"You can tell me about those things, Matt," she told him quietly as a soft piano seemed to guide them through their emotions. "I'm not mad or --" Just a little shocked now to hear these news. She had figured that his body was demanding some rest by now, but had no idea that his senses had not been at their best. "Look, this is the whole point of having a partner. I was there for you when you needed me," she offered, hoping to sound a little more hopeful now. A little more positive.
They did get out of that alive, after all.
Without hesitation, Kate founds herself taking Matt's hand, holding tightly onto it as she returned a smile he would never see.
It was his words that did it, though. They brought clarity to a situation in a way she had not anticipated. Because, even though Matt was going through a hard time, at least he had not endured it alone.
That was a big part of having a good partnership too.
"And if we weren't together to share this day, you would have missed out on Frankie, the Punisher French Bulldog," she offered with an almost shy smile, a hint of a laugh. Hopefully the start of something that would be contagious.
Frankie's parents, that lovely couple that had confused them for one of their own. It had been awkward, but incredibly sweet too.
It had been such a good day.
"I like experiencing things the way you do, too. Like... I'm glad you don't find it offensive. The whole, you know, counting steps and stuff. I know I have the privilege of being able to see but..." How could she explain it? "I don't know, I just wanna know what it is like for you."
Matt gave a soft laugh at the mention of Frankie the bulldog. "We should have taken a picture. Sent it to Frank. Maybe that would have gotten him out of hiding." Matt wanted to think that Frank was just in hiding. That he wasn't captured, or worse, dead. He had to keep hope alive, because for all their differences, Frank didn't deserve that. Matt was keeping an ear and eye out, figuratively, but so far he'd heard nothing. They'd just have to keep thinking that no news was good news right now.
He didn't let himself become maudlin, not right now.
With a gentle certainty, he brought Kate's fingers up to his face for her to feel. A silent acknowledgement that, no, he didn't find her wanting to be a part of his world offensive. He knew she'd tread lightly over the parts of his face that were still injured, but he didn't mind her seeing him in this way. The manner in which he could see her.
"I like you seeing the world like I can, as much as it's possible. Just like I want to know how you see the world, too."
"I'll keep an eye out for Frakie and his parents," Kate assured Matt as her voice grew a little quieter, aware of everything that was left unsaid about their fears regarding the human Frank. It had been a while since either of them had said Castle's name outloud. Not since the first few days after the blackout, when they asked almost every night if anyone had heard something about his whereabouts. "It's a good thing Frank likes dogs, because he is gonna hate us for calling him a Frenchie."
She couldn't think of Frank in a past tense.
The Punisher had to be hiding somewhere.
Even though music filled the room, there was an odd quietness to it that Kate couldn't shake off herself now. Maybe it was the uncertainty in the air, or how she still held onto the worry of how Matt had not shared how he'd been feeling lately.
All of that was interrupted as he guided her hand up, letting her touch his face.
She had almost forgotten about this. Had not wanted to ask. To push for it.
"... I like sharing it with you."
Not just the way she saw the world. Everything.
Kate swallowed, letting her fingers spread a little, trailing over his skin as she dared to place her palm against his cheek. She was careful, not putting much pressure, but simply touching him, almost testing how it felt.
Shifting on her spot, she turned to face Matt properly now. Focusing mostly on her fingertips, she allowed them to run with more freedom than ever before as they travelled over his face.
"I feel like I'm cheating a little," she confessed with a shy chuckle. "Like I know what I'm looking for."
Maybe that was why instead of simply being curious, her touch felt more like a caress.
So featherlight, like a caress. Matt wasn't touch-starved, he got plenty of affection from his loved ones, but he always welcomed more. This however was different. More intimate in some way, despite not necessarily being romantic. It was just... loving. Pure and unquestioned. Matt let out a small sigh, eyes closed, leaning a little into Kate's fingertips like it felt good. Which it did.
"Maybe don't think of it in terms of cheating," he said softly, "But instead just let it enhance what's normal for you. It's okay not to see things exactly as I do. Just as I can't see things exactly as you do. Maybe what matters is understanding what we can and finding a middle ground for both of us. I like sharing this with you. I like you knowing me as you do. Sight and all."
His hand came to rest on her shoulder, his other one on Lucky's head. His heartbeat quickened with her touches, a warmth settling over him that made him feel connected and at peace.
"I like my partner knowing me."
It came out like a soft murmur, as he hesitantly let his fingers move from her shoulder up to her own face. He didn't stroke over it all, just let his thumb lightly brush against her cheekbone. To rest at her pulse point on her neck, feeling her heartbeat.
Let it enhance things. "Knowing you beyond the things I can see," Kate murmured as she took in Matt's words, quietly following his guidance.
She hesitated, mostly because she was worried about forgetting which parts of his face were the most tender, fearing she would go beyond the limits. She worried she'd cross a line that would hurt Matt in some way. Kate was well aware that she needed to be careful around him.
'I like my partner knowing me.'
It was nothing, it was harmless. It wasn't a confession. It was nothing but a delusion that made her heart beat so much more faster. Stating facts. They were parters, they were close friends. People who worked best knowing each other, finding understanding without the need for words. This was important, beyond some silly, innocent curiosity.
In her heart, she knew it.
Closing her eyes, Kate dared to reach out with her other hand, her fingertips ghosting over Matt's face as she closed her eyes. She tried to remember what she'd felt on her own face, how his hands had explored it with care. Cheekbones, jawline, his nose. She tried her best not to picture it all in her mind, but let those places suddenly appear as her touch discovered them.
But suddenly, it all went away. Like a scared hare, her heart leaped as Kate felt Matt's hand on the side of her neck, his thumb on her cheek. So close to the corner of her mouth.
It was nothing, Kate.
It meant nothing.
Did it mean he could hear her heartbeat? It was so loud even Kate could pretty much feel it vibrate agaist her chest.
"I..." Kate's lips moved, but the first words that came out of it did quietly, usaid. "I really want to get to know you."
He wanted Kate to know him. To see him in ways that didn't terrify, shame, or anger her. She knew the worst of him. What he was capable of doing. What he had done. She still would stand and fight by his side, she still would laugh and watch TV and eat trash with him, too.
She knew him.
IT felt so good to feel it.
In an ugly way, in a way he would not yet admit or indulge, it was tempting to let her know him in other ways, too.
He felt her heartbeat, but did he dare let her hand slip to his chest to feel his own? It was fast to match.
His voice was low as he let his hand caress the side of her face, to then let it slide down to her hand. Her wrist. "I trust you to know me.
I hope you trust me to know you, too."
That he would never betray her, never use what was between them against her. That he stood at her side. He was her partner.
A kid, a spoiled princess, a brat. A rich bitch who paid her way through college and bribed judges and bought competitions. A quirky, talkative friend who was never afraid to start a conversation with strangers. An overachiever with great grades and a talent for sports. The weird girl obsessed with Clint Barton.
The criminal who had attacked Kingpin.
Hawkeye.
Kate had been called many names. Had even been nothing but a child in his eyes, she knew it. She still couldn't fully shake off that shame she felt over how her stupid sense of humor had angered him at times. How frustrated she had been, so ashamed of her own behavior that holding back tears had been impossible. For how long had Matt feared he'd been to blame for it? For making a girl cry.
Things were different now, though.
It was strange. It wasn't even that long since they reconnected. But these last few months, it felt as if Matt had always been a core part of her life. These days, she couldn't imagine a life in which more than a couple of days passed without them checking on each other, hanging, working together.
Matt saw her differently now. Deep down, Kate was sure of it. She could have sworn it.
Kate's lips parted as she took a deep breath. She was aware. His beard was a little prickly as she traced it with her thumb, a sensation that pulled on the corners of her mouth. Her smile, wide now, brushed Matt's palm like a collateral kiss. Kate found herself leaning into his touch, craving more.
"I trust you with my life," she said softly, almost joyful. Because that was a leap she wasn't afraid to take. It was a choice she was happy to make every day. Every night.
Her legs shifted, her knee touching the top of his lap shyly.
It would take a second, nothing more than that. Straddling him. Taking another leap of faith.
No.
Kate shifted again, pulling her leg back, sitting on it more upright.
Kate felt her heart, so swollen by now it almost hurt, compressed by her chest. Mainly, because she knew that Matt meant every word.
It was probably wise, the way they both stepped back, how she'd taken her hands off his face. She regretted it a little, feeling like she hadn't accomplished what she wanted. She had been so distracted that... She hadn't really been able to concentrate so much, had not learned truly how to memorize his face through her touch.
Was this a wasted chance?
Everything felt so confusing. Was her mind playing tricks? Was her heart setting up illusions?
"Well..." At least she could focus on something else now. Something safer. "I think we established now that your body is really trying to send you some signals." Not able to help herself, she ran her hand through his hair.
Surely Matt would feel the shift on the sofa though, as Kate slipped away. Lucky, always faithful, followed. She came back to him, encouraging him to lay down as she placed a big, softer cushion for him to use as a pillow. It was less sturdy than the ones they were leaning against before.
With Matt now laying on the loveseat, Kate moved to stretch out on the corner piece of the L-shaped sofa. She placed a cushion for herself, one that leaned against Matt's. Laying on her stomach, she watched him, the top of his head, his ruffled hair. His hand, tucked. Her hand, laid close to his.
"Yeah. Well, it's better than last time's signals. I went completely deaf for awhile." He could still remember the absolute terror he'd felt, like he'd permanently lost another sense and with it, all of the special gifts he'd been granted. That he'd be both blind and deaf the rest of his life. It was only by the grace of God and Luke's skillful suit-making that this time it hadn't been as bad as that or worse. "But you're right. I should listen to my body more." Should being the operative word. He knew he'd always push himself, would always work harder than he probably should. Yet there clearly was a line, and that line was when pushing himself put his friend at risk.
He felt her fingers thread through his hair and he let out a sigh, his eyes momentarily closing. The sensation was gone swiftly, and while he missed it, he knew better than to ask for its return.
Matt laid down, listening as best he could to Kate's movements. He couldn't track her like normal, and he longed for the return of his abilities when he might. Still, she was back before too long. Once she'd laid down he settled down too, not a moment before. The dog, of course, joined them as well, more than happy for a nap. Matt let the music and the sound of breathing sweep over him, his eyes growing heavy, and before long he'd slipped back into a deep sleep.
How much time passed he couldn't tell, but he awoke with an empty stomach and a full bladder, so he figured it had to have been a few hours. Groggy and disoriented, trying to separate dreams from reality, he rubbed a hand over his face an groggily called out, "Kate?"
It had been a much needed nap. The sort that feels refreshing, dreamless and that leaves you feeling disoriented when you wake up. Kate would have sworn that only a few minutes had passed by since she had been watching Matt. Slowly taken away by sleep, his heavy-eyelids finally closing, his hand so near hers when Kate herself was conquered by her own exhaustion.
It was the buzzing of her phone that did it, the loud vibration on the coffee table. The penthouse was a little darker, the one sign that time had passed by. Kate instantly turned to check on Matt, now laying on his back and stirring probably because of how her phone demanded attention.
Grabbing it and noticing she had a couple of voice messages, Kate walked out of the room. Lucky, always faithful even when a little groggy, hopped off the sofa and followed her. It was Lucky who, a little later, warned her that Matt was awake, after Kate herself made a quick stop by the half-bathroom that was the closest to the TV room. She was just done peeing and washing her face - as she had been clearly drooling on her sleep - as Lucky's insistance caught her attention. "Matt?"
Was he up? Had his powers returned? Was he still powerless and dangerously wandering around he penthouse?
She was relieved to find him still on the sofa.
"Matt, are you okay?" She asked after noticing his eyes were open, approaching his side. After a moment of hesitation, she asked: "How are you feeling?"
[OOC: I figure we can let him try Kate's noodles and the pizza rolls, give him his powers back during that, and close the scene out then? He has to get to try her noodles, LOL. But as he's eating them I'll have his powers show up again.]
Matt slowly came to sit up. His tongue felt thick in his mouth, that cotton sensation from a deep sleep. The cobwebs were slowly clearing from his mind, though. At hearing Kate's voice he relaxed, knowing she was in the room and at his side again. The panting too was a familiar sound, and Matt smiled a little. He reached out to find Lucky's head and gave it a few reassuring pats. At Kate's question though he knew what she was really asking. His heart sank a little as he shook his head no, saying softly, "Nothing yet."
He felt better. Stronger. Still he didn't have his powers, though. He tried to disregard that feeling in the pit of his stomach, reaching out to offer his hand to Kate. "It's gonna be okay, though. Promise. They'll come back." Was he reassuring her or both of them?
"How are you feeling, though? Everything all right?"
[ooc: At the very least Matt needs to try those noodles for sure! Other than that I'm in no rush, so totally up to you when the powers make their way back. Maybe the spice-rush does the trick, lol!]
It wass Lucky who first made it there, his paws perching him to the edge of the sofa and by Matt's side. If Kate had not stopped him the dog might have crawled up over Matt's chest, seemingly unaware of his size or weight.
"Okay, it's nothing to worry about." Matt probably needed more time. A couple of naps were nothing, sure not enough for his body to recover from all that trauma.
As Matt reached out for her, Kate smiled softly and took his hand, sitting on the edge of the seat and against his thigh. It was so strange. She was used to this behavior when it was nothing but an act. But now? Matt really couldn't tell where she was, where to talk to. "Yeah, you just need more time. It'll be fine," she quickly supported that reassurance.
"I'm good," she instantly admitted, unaware of how much more earnest she was about how she was feeling herself. "I mean, shit, I really needed another nap. I passed out straight away." Who knew who was playing the trumpet in the backgound now? They might have slept through most of that docuseries. "Here," reaching for one of the glasses of water on the coffee table, she guided Matt's hand to it. "You should drink something."
[OOC: 100%, Matt needs to eat the noodles and be all, "This is GREAT!" then as he's eating get his powers back and being all, "OMG SODIUM."]
Matt gave a soft laugh as Lucky tried to snuggle up to him. The dog knew how to make him feel better, as did Kate. "Easy, buddy. I know. I love you, too." He pushed himself to a fully upright position, rubbing his eyes to wipe away the last of the sleep crust. He was glad that Kate played along with him in what he'd said. He hoped she even believed it. He leaned into her when she sat near him, his thumb lightly brushing against her hand that he held. "Yeah. Just more time." It had to be that.
His head tilted as he listened to her reassure him that she was fine, his shoulders relaxing and his head nodding as he accepted it. Even now he still cared more about her than himself. "I had to make sure," he told her with a little shoulder bump. "After all, you've put up with me all day. That would be enough to drive anyone crazy." Not just putting up with him, helping take care of him. She'd already done so much. It was sweet, and he knew that she didn't mind, but he wanted to do something to show his appreciation for it. In a more serious voice he added, "Well, it was a late night for all of us. And I know it's been stressful. I'm glad you got some sleep. Hope there were some nice dreams to go along with it."
At the offering of water his bladder balked, but he heard how croaky his voice was, so he didn't protest. He took the glass with a nod, slowly sipping it down. His voice sounded clearer the more he drank. "You up for the incredibly healthy lunch - dinner? - of noodles and pizza rolls?" At the very word pizza Lucky began to bark, making Matt snort. He slowly got to his feet, water glass in hand, reaching out his other hand for Kate. "I think Lucky is telling us it's time."
[ooc: Possible side effects include potential osteoporosis, strokes, heart failure, high blood pressure and the chances of recovering your freaky radar powers.]
It always warmed Kate's heart to watch Matt interact with her dog, how Lucky seemed to always find a way to make even a miserable moment so much easier to bear. The ease in which Matt professed his love for the dog. It was sweet to know that despite of what a hard day he was having, now he had the chance to enjoy Lucky's company without having to endure an unpleasant smell.
It was a small mercy.
"Oh, it's been a super hard day for me. Enjoying great company and then eating and napping all day?" Kate chuckled softly, resting her head on Matt's shoulder in a silent sign of support. Of closeness and appreciation. Gratitude, even, for all the things she'd listed and that remained unsaid. He knew, after all he had been there. "I don't remember any dreams. What about you?"
But soon enough they were on their feet and, Kate had to admit, that breakfast burger was no longer keeping her stomach full. "Yeah, I could do with a bite. Believe it or not, it's getting dark. We really had some good naps." Guiding Matt's hand to her arm, she held it in place as she guided him through the house. "Do you wanna go to the bathroom? Wash your face or something?"
Matt shook his head. "No, I don't remember any dreams. I mean, I've remembered dreams in the past, but today I didn't. Have you ever had any recurring ones?" As usual no matter what he leaned into having conversation and being curious about her. Somehow for how often they talk, he still isn't tired of it. He still enjoyed hearing what she had to say and her thoughts on things. He wanted to know about important life matters like her dad and her take on her schooling, and he wanted to know silly, more irreverent things like what were her favorite instant noodles and what recurring dreams she'd had.
"Wow." If the sun was already setting, they had indeed been knocked out for a fair number of hours. No wonder he felt so much more rested. "I'm not sure I've ever napped all day. Well, most of the day." A part of him felt lazy, and his hand automatically went for his phone to check in with Kirsten out of habit. He knew he'd had a long night and a serious injury, but old habits died hard. "I don't even have a neck crick. That's a really nice sofa." As they made their way to the kitchen he pulled a playful face and asked, "Why, what's wrong with my face? I don't have drool on it, do I?" He reached up a hand and, thankfully, he didn't feel anything in his beard.
"Recurring dreams?" This was one of the things she loved best about hanging with Matt. Things had started with the most strictly business-like relationship, with him being a little imposing in his devil suit. But Kate had instantly had a good feeling about him, about how she could take those barriers down. And here they were now, spending a lazy day of recovery together and talking about the silliest things.
"Well, I did have the falling dream before. You know, when you wake up giving a kick? It was so stupid, though. I was climbing up some stairs and the wallpaper around me was like a sky with clouds. Like the Toy Story one?" After mentioning it, she had to wonder if Matt had even seen the movie. "Huh. Anyway, I would reach a door and after stepping through it, I'd fall." It was silly, almost cartoonish, but it really stuck with her. "Or sometimes I dream that I'm being chased and my legs are incredibly heavy and its so hard to move."
A therapist would probably have a field day with her, Kate suspected. "What about you?"
At Matt's shock and his knee-jerk reaction to check on work, Kate gave his arm a squeeze. "Hey, it's okay to have a slow day from time to time." But she understood why Matt struggled with the thought. Did he ever stop? Not even on Sundays, as he was busy with church stuff.
As they made it to the kitchen, Kate found the bag with the souvenirs Matt had bought and handed Lucky his capybara plushie. The dog stood on his hind legs to grab it, wagging his tail in excitement. "There's nothing wrong!" Kate laughed. "I was just being really nice in how I asked if you needed to make room for the noodles. But I can ask if you need to take a shit if you want me to be more blunt about it!"
"Huh." Matt considered the dreams she'd told him and mused for a moment. "Did you ever wonder what they meant? Falling and being too slow sound like anxiety dreams to me, but I'm not a dream therapist." Or a therapist at all. He'd lost his eyesight before seeing Toy Story, so he didn't have the visual frame of reference, but he did know what a sky with clouds looked like. "Was there something going on at the time that you think caused them?"
Of course Kate then turned the question back on him. Neither of them let the conversation linger just on themselves for long. Just as she reassured him it was okay to take a day. He put his phone away and held up his hands. "All right, all right, I'm done now. For now. I promise. As for my recurring dreams... there was one where I was playing outside, but it suddenly wasn't safe. Only the reason it wasn't safe outside was because of an evil witch inside the apartment complex. I had to get inside and find the evil before it was too late, but I didn't know where to look and everything was dark, so I just kept running up the stairs trying to find it. I'd always wake up before I did - and before it caught me. Then there was another time where my dad was slowly fading away. I kept trying to keep him around, to make him eat and make sure he was all right, but nothing was working."
All right, maybe recurring dreams weren't actually all that fun.
A beat. "At least I never had the dream where I had to give a speech naked."
Matt felt across the table, moving around to stand beside Kate. He smiled as he heard the dog's happy muffled yips, clearly having been given his toy.
"No, I don't have to shit," Matt laughed. "Just taking a moment though at you having decorum." He felt bad having to rely on her for everything though, even walking to and from the bathroom. He knew she didn't mind, but still, a part of him always felt apologetic about asking. "I'll probably have to stop for the other reason soon, but we can start making the food for now." A beat, then he grinned in her direction. "So did you drool, then?"
Of course she had wondered. Specially now as the dreams where her body felt heavier and her legs wouldn't respond, they had recently returned. She didn't tell Matt about how she sometimes had no option but to hide in that deserted city in her dreams sometimes. "I think they started after the attack on New York. Then," she hesitated. But she truly didn't want to hide anything from Matt. From her partner. "After Fisk. After the first time." When she had faced the man on her own.
Now she understood that Fisk had not truly fought her on their first encounter. He had not wanted to lose the liability he had on Eleanor Bishop. Having taken Kate for granted, she had managed to take him down. Even if Kingpin still managed to escape.
Even to this day, he was still trying to get his hands in their money., No, it was more than that. Kate still remembered their little chat during the gala, the night when Matt had been shot. Fisk's offer, how he had practically demanded donations in exchange of not throwing his rabid dogs at her. Fisk wanted to be back in control of the Bishops, as he had been for years without Kate knowing about it.
For a long time, he had owned her.
"An evil witch?" There was a mixture of surprise and endearment in her voice as she realized Matt was sharing the dreams of a child. "Your dreams sound way more creative than mine." And yet, she felt the urge to hug him. Or maybe, the kid she had never met. Kate made up for it, stroking his arm. "And now you make a living by chasing after that evil."
His father, though. Was he fading from Matt? Did he still have those dreams? She wanted to say something, some encouraging words. But there was a bitter taste in her mouth as she reminded herself that, unless she checked old videos, she couldn't remember her dad's voice. Thankfully, Matt broke the silence with his joke about naked speechs. "Have you ever given one in real life then?" She played along, glad to let the mood change.
It warmed her heart to hear him laugh. In knowing that even in one of their lowest moments, they could still see the light at the end of the tunnel. Matt would get back his powers, he would hopefully share it the next time his abilities were not at their best. Kate would have a new suit. And their bond... They would become an even stronger partnership after this. One that joked about bodily functions, apparently.
"I did not drool! Now you're just making evil assumptions!" Apparently scandalized about the accusation, Kate gasped in faux shock. In the meantime, she was taking out the noodle packets and looking for a pot, ready to fill it with water. "Projecting even. Because you are totally a drooler."
He gave her arm, the one he was holding onto, a gentle but firm squeeze as she explained the dreams to him. It made sense. Times of loss, of pain. Of fear. Of course Fisk was tied into it too, as he inevitably seemed to be in the lives of everyone Matt loved. "Just the first time?" he asked quietly, ready to take whatever answer she needed to give. He couldn't help but ask, though. "I'm sorry, Kate," he added, just as softly. "If I could just give you good dreams I would. God knows you deserve it." She was such a kind and wonderful person who deserved the world as it should be, not as it now was. He couldn't take away what had happened, but he could at least not let her be alone when she was awake to face it all.
"An evil witch, yeah," Matt said ruefully. "I think it was during my peak childhood Disney phase. I've since learned witches can be good." He still remembered that sense of terror though, that looming anxiety that something was wrong from the inside of his sanctuary and that it was his job to make it right. It wasn't even a dramatic moment like the Battle of New York for him that had started those first dreams. Just living in Hell's Kitchen day in and out had somehow caused it. His father fading though had definitely come in the wake of his father's passing, then recurred each time Matt lost another piece of his father to faulty memory. It wasn't a dream he had often these days, so many years had passed since he'd lost that grip on his father's real face, voice, and scent.
Now though, sometimes, it was replaced with Foggy.
"I might have given a speech or two when in my boxer shorts in the college dorm room, does that count?" he joked. "Never done one in my birthday suit. And I did no such thing. If my mouth was open I'd be tasting dog slobber in it, right?"
He let his fingers lightly drum on the table, asking hopefully, "Can I help? I can pour things into a pot. Or onto a baking sheet." For the pizza rolls. "You've done so much already... and I like to help." Those simple words so true, from when he was a child fighting a dream evil witch to now in a kitchen filling up a baking sheet.
Distracted as she was as she moved around the kitchen, Matt's words, his touch, brought things to a pause. It was a break even from her own feelings, that claustrophobic sensation that remained crawling under her skin whenever she woke up from those dreams. It sometimes awakened when Kate thoughts of those dreams. But Matt? His loving words were enough to pull her from that edge, from crossing that line where all these unpleasant things would catch up on Kate.
"You're helping me have a better sleep," she said softly, but loud enough for him to hear clearly. "You make this city a better place, Matt." She truly believed that. What they stood for. What they sacrificed. Where he would lead them.
"Glad you got over your prejudices," she joked as she went to the fridge, getting out the box of pizza rolls. Joke or not, hopefully that which had haunted him in his dreams had changed these days too. Matt faced so many hardships on his every day life, every night, that the least he deserved was pleasant dreams. A little escape.
It was so unfair, knowing that people like Fisk slept peacefully at night. Kate so hoped she was wrong about that.
"It's close enough for me to take it," Kate laughed, gently pushing Lucky away from the counter as he tried to sniff around for treats. "And are you sure you can't taste dog slobber?"
Ready to get the water to boil, Matt's request changed her plans. For a second, Kate looked around, still feeling a little lost in her mom's roomy kitchen. "Oh! Right! Give me a second. Hummmm..." Matt sure heard her opening cabinets, walking past him and returning, the clicking of Lucky's claws on the floor letting him know the dog followed her every step. "Here! Okay, baking sheet. Here." Placing it before him along with some parchment paper, she guided his hand to the box of pizza rolls. "It's so much easier to find stuff in a kitchen when you only own one set of cutlery." And by that, she means the days back when she only owned one fork, two knives and a spoon.
That was what he wanted. To bring Kate, to bring everyone, a restful sleep. To ensure they lived in a city that made them feel protected and safe, eager to live and easy to thrive. He wanted to make the city better by ensuring people could live by their better angels without fear of the many demons. Sometimes, many times, that meant fighting with his fists. Not always, though. Sometimes it was pushing an old man away from a moving truck, or arguing in court for another chance. It was buying a stranger a sandwich and it was forgiving someone who needed to hear it. He tried to be all those things at once, and he knew he failed some of the time. Still. Hearing Kate now reminded him that it mattered to try, and to keep trying until he succeeded.
"Oh, you know me. Big on redemption," he joked on not holding onto grudges for the wicked witches. His childhood mind had taken larger enemies and dressed them in Disney clothing, but it was still far easier to make jokes now than dig any deeper. He'd started the teasing, after all. He'd expected Kate to follow him on that trail. "Ever met a real witch? I wouldn't be surprised if they existed now, knowing what I do." With people and powers.
"I taste nothing, maybe what Lucky and I have is chaste and pure," Matt joked, then set himself to cutting and setting down the aluminum foil on the baking dish, and spreading out a handful of the pizza rolls. He tried to run his fingers over the container to see if they were pepperoni or not, but he couldn't read the print. A touch sadly, but rallying, he decided it would be fun to be surprised. "Yeah, but if you only own one set, you can't host a dinner party," he told her with a smile. "We can host one together if you ever want, I can show you how much fun they are. Though your real friends won't care if your glasses all match. I cooked my first one in our college dorm kitchen, everyone had a ton of fun, and paper plates were used."
"Well, Clint did mention that they had a witch in the Avengers team once it expanded from the Big Six." Not every hero was big on the marketing team the goverment set up, and so her name was mainly lost and kept from the public. On their late talks, her mentor had really opened up her eyes about the nuances of being an Avenger. Or working with them. The terrible wages.
She couldn't help idealizing the title, still.
At the mention of tasteless dog spit Kate made choking and puking sounds that for Matt would be impossible to miss. Even Lucky pricked up his ears, turning to look at her as if he had been personally offended. Maybe he was.
"Wait, even back then you cooked?" It made sense. A lot of people found pleasure in that from a young age. "What did you serve?" She asked, finally putting the pot on the stove and tapping the buttons to heat it up.
"Huh." Matt said it in mild curiosity. He'd never heard much about a witch, but then again, he absolutely never cared to keep up with the Avengers. "You know, I wondered a few times if what I could do was magic. I know now it isn't, but when you're a kid..." At first he'd seen it as a curse. Then when Stick arrived, it was a weapon. In between that and becoming an adult, he'd had some years to be fanciful at moments. "I know, Catholics, we don't believe in magic. Or more precisely, we shouldn't confuse religious miracles for them." A distinction he'd talked to Lantom a lot about, as the world came to have so many unimaginable things. "At the end of the day, my gifts felt religious rather than magical, but you know... there was a moment where I thought I might be a wizard."
Ruffling Lucky's head, Matt shook his and protested, "I meant that it was chaste and pure because there wasn't any dog spit to taste! Stop making this ugly, Kate. Lucky's my buddy." Lucky wagged his tail as he chewed on his toy, just happy to be included.
So much his buddy that it was fine to move the pizza rolls with a hand that had touched the dog, right? It wasn't like a regular mouth could taste that. Matt moved each piece apart so that they would bake evenly.
"Oh, I cooked from the time I was a kid." Matt smiled at the memory, moving the tray over a little to show he was done. "My dad was a single parent, you know? He worked a lot with training and fights. He had the neighbor look in on me but I was left alone a lot, and I felt bad that he'd come home so late without anything to eat. So I started making things. Just sandwiches at first, or mac 'n cheese. Pizza rolls. But I found I liked it. We couldn't afford much so it wasn't elaborate, but he'd buy things for me to try and make. And then every so often he'd just take me out for dinner at midnight.
That night at Columbia I made flatbread pizza and Caesar salad, but it all started with bologna and cheese sandwiches waiting for my dad. And me asleep at the kitchen table just waiting to hear about his fight."
She watched him for a moment, opening the packet of noodles even though they still had time before the water was boiling and ready. "And what makes you think that what you do isn't magic? I mean, it's relative, isn't it?" Was she messing with him? Kate did sound serious, at the very least. "A lot of daily things are magic. And I can't explain the things you can do." Normally, anyway. His powers would return soon, though.
Sure, maybe a doctor would give her an earful, but logic had never stopped Kate before. "Matt the Wizard," she tried, figuring how it rolled off her tongue. "Magical Matthew. Mystical Murdock."
It kinda made sense.
A Matt defended the chastity of his relationship with the retriever, Kate offered a distracted 'uh-huh' that proved she wasn't buying it. Still, as she walked behind him, she didn't waste her chance to poke Matt in a spot she knew he'd find ticklish. Was it that bad without his powers?
Coming back with a couple of ramen bowls for the noodles, complete with a little hole for the chopsticks, she placed them down on the counter and moved to the oven to pre-heat it.
"Dinner at midnight? That sounds fun." Specially for a kid that spent the day by himself. Kate knew what it was like to grow with a single parent. Well, partially. She was never unsupervised, though.
"Fuck, Matt..." That last thing about him falling asleep on the table, waiting for a hardworking dad who's literally come home injured to be able to afford the meals his son was learning to cook by himself. It broke her heart right there. "... I kinda wish I could travel in time to give the little you a hug."
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streetlevel) wrote2024-12-23 08:39 pm
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"You can tell me about those things, Matt," she told him quietly as a soft piano seemed to guide them through their emotions. "I'm not mad or --" Just a little shocked now to hear these news. She had figured that his body was demanding some rest by now, but had no idea that his senses had not been at their best. "Look, this is the whole point of having a partner. I was there for you when you needed me," she offered, hoping to sound a little more hopeful now. A little more positive.
They did get out of that alive, after all.
Without hesitation, Kate founds herself taking Matt's hand, holding tightly onto it as she returned a smile he would never see.
It was his words that did it, though. They brought clarity to a situation in a way she had not anticipated. Because, even though Matt was going through a hard time, at least he had not endured it alone.
That was a big part of having a good partnership too.
"And if we weren't together to share this day, you would have missed out on Frankie, the Punisher French Bulldog," she offered with an almost shy smile, a hint of a laugh. Hopefully the start of something that would be contagious.
Frankie's parents, that lovely couple that had confused them for one of their own. It had been awkward, but incredibly sweet too.
It had been such a good day.
"I like experiencing things the way you do, too. Like... I'm glad you don't find it offensive. The whole, you know, counting steps and stuff. I know I have the privilege of being able to see but..." How could she explain it? "I don't know, I just wanna know what it is like for you."
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He didn't let himself become maudlin, not right now.
With a gentle certainty, he brought Kate's fingers up to his face for her to feel. A silent acknowledgement that, no, he didn't find her wanting to be a part of his world offensive. He knew she'd tread lightly over the parts of his face that were still injured, but he didn't mind her seeing him in this way. The manner in which he could see her.
"I like you seeing the world like I can, as much as it's possible. Just like I want to know how you see the world, too."
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She couldn't think of Frank in a past tense.
The Punisher had to be hiding somewhere.
Even though music filled the room, there was an odd quietness to it that Kate couldn't shake off herself now. Maybe it was the uncertainty in the air, or how she still held onto the worry of how Matt had not shared how he'd been feeling lately.
All of that was interrupted as he guided her hand up, letting her touch his face.
She had almost forgotten about this. Had not wanted to ask. To push for it.
"... I like sharing it with you."
Not just the way she saw the world. Everything.
Kate swallowed, letting her fingers spread a little, trailing over his skin as she dared to place her palm against his cheek. She was careful, not putting much pressure, but simply touching him, almost testing how it felt.
Shifting on her spot, she turned to face Matt properly now. Focusing mostly on her fingertips, she allowed them to run with more freedom than ever before as they travelled over his face.
"I feel like I'm cheating a little," she confessed with a shy chuckle. "Like I know what I'm looking for."
Maybe that was why instead of simply being curious, her touch felt more like a caress.
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"Maybe don't think of it in terms of cheating," he said softly, "But instead just let it enhance what's normal for you. It's okay not to see things exactly as I do. Just as I can't see things exactly as you do. Maybe what matters is understanding what we can and finding a middle ground for both of us. I like sharing this with you. I like you knowing me as you do. Sight and all."
His hand came to rest on her shoulder, his other one on Lucky's head. His heartbeat quickened with her touches, a warmth settling over him that made him feel connected and at peace.
"I like my partner knowing me."
It came out like a soft murmur, as he hesitantly let his fingers move from her shoulder up to her own face. He didn't stroke over it all, just let his thumb lightly brush against her cheekbone. To rest at her pulse point on her neck, feeling her heartbeat.
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She hesitated, mostly because she was worried about forgetting which parts of his face were the most tender, fearing she would go beyond the limits. She worried she'd cross a line that would hurt Matt in some way. Kate was well aware that she needed to be careful around him.
'I like my partner knowing me.'
It was nothing, it was harmless. It wasn't a confession. It was nothing but a delusion that made her heart beat so much more faster. Stating facts. They were parters, they were close friends. People who worked best knowing each other, finding understanding without the need for words. This was important, beyond some silly, innocent curiosity.
In her heart, she knew it.
Closing her eyes, Kate dared to reach out with her other hand, her fingertips ghosting over Matt's face as she closed her eyes. She tried to remember what she'd felt on her own face, how his hands had explored it with care. Cheekbones, jawline, his nose. She tried her best not to picture it all in her mind, but let those places suddenly appear as her touch discovered them.
But suddenly, it all went away. Like a scared hare, her heart leaped as Kate felt Matt's hand on the side of her neck, his thumb on her cheek. So close to the corner of her mouth.
It was nothing, Kate.
It meant nothing.
Did it mean he could hear her heartbeat? It was so loud even Kate could pretty much feel it vibrate agaist her chest.
"I..." Kate's lips moved, but the first words that came out of it did quietly, usaid. "I really want to get to know you."
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He wanted Kate to know him. To see him in ways that didn't terrify, shame, or anger her. She knew the worst of him. What he was capable of doing. What he had done. She still would stand and fight by his side, she still would laugh and watch TV and eat trash with him, too.
She knew him.
IT felt so good to feel it.
In an ugly way, in a way he would not yet admit or indulge, it was tempting to let her know him in other ways, too.
He felt her heartbeat, but did he dare let her hand slip to his chest to feel his own? It was fast to match.
His voice was low as he let his hand caress the side of her face, to then let it slide down to her hand. Her wrist. "I trust you to know me.
I hope you trust me to know you, too."
That he would never betray her, never use what was between them against her. That he stood at her side. He was her partner.
It meant nothing.
It was everything.
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A kid, a spoiled princess, a brat. A rich bitch who paid her way through college and bribed judges and bought competitions. A quirky, talkative friend who was never afraid to start a conversation with strangers. An overachiever with great grades and a talent for sports. The weird girl obsessed with Clint Barton.
The criminal who had attacked Kingpin.
Hawkeye.
Kate had been called many names. Had even been nothing but a child in his eyes, she knew it. She still couldn't fully shake off that shame she felt over how her stupid sense of humor had angered him at times. How frustrated she had been, so ashamed of her own behavior that holding back tears had been impossible. For how long had Matt feared he'd been to blame for it? For making a girl cry.
Things were different now, though.
It was strange. It wasn't even that long since they reconnected. But these last few months, it felt as if Matt had always been a core part of her life. These days, she couldn't imagine a life in which more than a couple of days passed without them checking on each other, hanging, working together.
Matt saw her differently now. Deep down, Kate was sure of it. She could have sworn it.
Kate's lips parted as she took a deep breath. She was aware. His beard was a little prickly as she traced it with her thumb, a sensation that pulled on the corners of her mouth. Her smile, wide now, brushed Matt's palm like a collateral kiss. Kate found herself leaning into his touch, craving more.
"I trust you with my life," she said softly, almost joyful. Because that was a leap she wasn't afraid to take. It was a choice she was happy to make every day. Every night.
Her legs shifted, her knee touching the top of his lap shyly.
It would take a second, nothing more than that. Straddling him. Taking another leap of faith.
No.
Kate shifted again, pulling her leg back, sitting on it more upright.
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He lightly stroked her cheek, giving her the touch she needed, that they both craved, before each pulled back before it went too far.
"I'll protect it with my own," he promised in return.
The air felt saturated, but not heavy. He sucked in a breath and let his head fall back against the cushion.
He listened to Armstrong play. Lucky seemed to have quieted, too.
His body felt heavy and leaden. Sleepy. His eyes were half-lidded. "I don't usually get tired this fast."
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It was probably wise, the way they both stepped back, how she'd taken her hands off his face. She regretted it a little, feeling like she hadn't accomplished what she wanted. She had been so distracted that... She hadn't really been able to concentrate so much, had not learned truly how to memorize his face through her touch.
Was this a wasted chance?
Everything felt so confusing. Was her mind playing tricks? Was her heart setting up illusions?
"Well..." At least she could focus on something else now. Something safer. "I think we established now that your body is really trying to send you some signals." Not able to help herself, she ran her hand through his hair.
Surely Matt would feel the shift on the sofa though, as Kate slipped away. Lucky, always faithful, followed. She came back to him, encouraging him to lay down as she placed a big, softer cushion for him to use as a pillow. It was less sturdy than the ones they were leaning against before.
With Matt now laying on the loveseat, Kate moved to stretch out on the corner piece of the L-shaped sofa. She placed a cushion for herself, one that leaned against Matt's. Laying on her stomach, she watched him, the top of his head, his ruffled hair. His hand, tucked. Her hand, laid close to his.
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He felt her fingers thread through his hair and he let out a sigh, his eyes momentarily closing. The sensation was gone swiftly, and while he missed it, he knew better than to ask for its return.
Matt laid down, listening as best he could to Kate's movements. He couldn't track her like normal, and he longed for the return of his abilities when he might. Still, she was back before too long. Once she'd laid down he settled down too, not a moment before. The dog, of course, joined them as well, more than happy for a nap. Matt let the music and the sound of breathing sweep over him, his eyes growing heavy, and before long he'd slipped back into a deep sleep.
How much time passed he couldn't tell, but he awoke with an empty stomach and a full bladder, so he figured it had to have been a few hours. Groggy and disoriented, trying to separate dreams from reality, he rubbed a hand over his face an groggily called out, "Kate?"
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It was the buzzing of her phone that did it, the loud vibration on the coffee table. The penthouse was a little darker, the one sign that time had passed by. Kate instantly turned to check on Matt, now laying on his back and stirring probably because of how her phone demanded attention.
Grabbing it and noticing she had a couple of voice messages, Kate walked out of the room. Lucky, always faithful even when a little groggy, hopped off the sofa and followed her. It was Lucky who, a little later, warned her that Matt was awake, after Kate herself made a quick stop by the half-bathroom that was the closest to the TV room. She was just done peeing and washing her face - as she had been clearly drooling on her sleep - as Lucky's insistance caught her attention. "Matt?"
Was he up? Had his powers returned? Was he still powerless and dangerously wandering around he penthouse?
She was relieved to find him still on the sofa.
"Matt, are you okay?" She asked after noticing his eyes were open, approaching his side. After a moment of hesitation, she asked: "How are you feeling?"
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Matt slowly came to sit up. His tongue felt thick in his mouth, that cotton sensation from a deep sleep. The cobwebs were slowly clearing from his mind, though. At hearing Kate's voice he relaxed, knowing she was in the room and at his side again. The panting too was a familiar sound, and Matt smiled a little. He reached out to find Lucky's head and gave it a few reassuring pats. At Kate's question though he knew what she was really asking. His heart sank a little as he shook his head no, saying softly, "Nothing yet."
He felt better. Stronger. Still he didn't have his powers, though. He tried to disregard that feeling in the pit of his stomach, reaching out to offer his hand to Kate. "It's gonna be okay, though. Promise. They'll come back." Was he reassuring her or both of them?
"How are you feeling, though? Everything all right?"
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It wass Lucky who first made it there, his paws perching him to the edge of the sofa and by Matt's side. If Kate had not stopped him the dog might have crawled up over Matt's chest, seemingly unaware of his size or weight.
"Okay, it's nothing to worry about." Matt probably needed more time. A couple of naps were nothing, sure not enough for his body to recover from all that trauma.
As Matt reached out for her, Kate smiled softly and took his hand, sitting on the edge of the seat and against his thigh. It was so strange. She was used to this behavior when it was nothing but an act. But now? Matt really couldn't tell where she was, where to talk to. "Yeah, you just need more time. It'll be fine," she quickly supported that reassurance.
"I'm good," she instantly admitted, unaware of how much more earnest she was about how she was feeling herself. "I mean, shit, I really needed another nap. I passed out straight away." Who knew who was playing the trumpet in the backgound now? They might have slept through most of that docuseries. "Here," reaching for one of the glasses of water on the coffee table, she guided Matt's hand to it. "You should drink something."
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Matt gave a soft laugh as Lucky tried to snuggle up to him. The dog knew how to make him feel better, as did Kate. "Easy, buddy. I know. I love you, too." He pushed himself to a fully upright position, rubbing his eyes to wipe away the last of the sleep crust. He was glad that Kate played along with him in what he'd said. He hoped she even believed it. He leaned into her when she sat near him, his thumb lightly brushing against her hand that he held. "Yeah. Just more time." It had to be that.
His head tilted as he listened to her reassure him that she was fine, his shoulders relaxing and his head nodding as he accepted it. Even now he still cared more about her than himself. "I had to make sure," he told her with a little shoulder bump. "After all, you've put up with me all day. That would be enough to drive anyone crazy." Not just putting up with him, helping take care of him. She'd already done so much. It was sweet, and he knew that she didn't mind, but he wanted to do something to show his appreciation for it. In a more serious voice he added, "Well, it was a late night for all of us. And I know it's been stressful. I'm glad you got some sleep. Hope there were some nice dreams to go along with it."
At the offering of water his bladder balked, but he heard how croaky his voice was, so he didn't protest. He took the glass with a nod, slowly sipping it down. His voice sounded clearer the more he drank. "You up for the incredibly healthy lunch - dinner? - of noodles and pizza rolls?" At the very word pizza Lucky began to bark, making Matt snort. He slowly got to his feet, water glass in hand, reaching out his other hand for Kate. "I think Lucky is telling us it's time."
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It always warmed Kate's heart to watch Matt interact with her dog, how Lucky seemed to always find a way to make even a miserable moment so much easier to bear. The ease in which Matt professed his love for the dog. It was sweet to know that despite of what a hard day he was having, now he had the chance to enjoy Lucky's company without having to endure an unpleasant smell.
It was a small mercy.
"Oh, it's been a super hard day for me. Enjoying great company and then eating and napping all day?" Kate chuckled softly, resting her head on Matt's shoulder in a silent sign of support. Of closeness and appreciation. Gratitude, even, for all the things she'd listed and that remained unsaid. He knew, after all he had been there. "I don't remember any dreams. What about you?"
But soon enough they were on their feet and, Kate had to admit, that breakfast burger was no longer keeping her stomach full. "Yeah, I could do with a bite. Believe it or not, it's getting dark. We really had some good naps." Guiding Matt's hand to her arm, she held it in place as she guided him through the house. "Do you wanna go to the bathroom? Wash your face or something?"
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"Wow." If the sun was already setting, they had indeed been knocked out for a fair number of hours. No wonder he felt so much more rested. "I'm not sure I've ever napped all day. Well, most of the day." A part of him felt lazy, and his hand automatically went for his phone to check in with Kirsten out of habit. He knew he'd had a long night and a serious injury, but old habits died hard. "I don't even have a neck crick. That's a really nice sofa." As they made their way to the kitchen he pulled a playful face and asked, "Why, what's wrong with my face? I don't have drool on it, do I?" He reached up a hand and, thankfully, he didn't feel anything in his beard.
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"Well, I did have the falling dream before. You know, when you wake up giving a kick? It was so stupid, though. I was climbing up some stairs and the wallpaper around me was like a sky with clouds. Like the Toy Story one?" After mentioning it, she had to wonder if Matt had even seen the movie. "Huh. Anyway, I would reach a door and after stepping through it, I'd fall." It was silly, almost cartoonish, but it really stuck with her. "Or sometimes I dream that I'm being chased and my legs are incredibly heavy and its so hard to move."
A therapist would probably have a field day with her, Kate suspected. "What about you?"
At Matt's shock and his knee-jerk reaction to check on work, Kate gave his arm a squeeze. "Hey, it's okay to have a slow day from time to time." But she understood why Matt struggled with the thought. Did he ever stop? Not even on Sundays, as he was busy with church stuff.
As they made it to the kitchen, Kate found the bag with the souvenirs Matt had bought and handed Lucky his capybara plushie. The dog stood on his hind legs to grab it, wagging his tail in excitement. "There's nothing wrong!" Kate laughed. "I was just being really nice in how I asked if you needed to make room for the noodles. But I can ask if you need to take a shit if you want me to be more blunt about it!"
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Of course Kate then turned the question back on him. Neither of them let the conversation linger just on themselves for long. Just as she reassured him it was okay to take a day. He put his phone away and held up his hands. "All right, all right, I'm done now. For now. I promise. As for my recurring dreams... there was one where I was playing outside, but it suddenly wasn't safe. Only the reason it wasn't safe outside was because of an evil witch inside the apartment complex. I had to get inside and find the evil before it was too late, but I didn't know where to look and everything was dark, so I just kept running up the stairs trying to find it. I'd always wake up before I did - and before it caught me. Then there was another time where my dad was slowly fading away. I kept trying to keep him around, to make him eat and make sure he was all right, but nothing was working."
All right, maybe recurring dreams weren't actually all that fun.
A beat. "At least I never had the dream where I had to give a speech naked."
Matt felt across the table, moving around to stand beside Kate. He smiled as he heard the dog's happy muffled yips, clearly having been given his toy.
"No, I don't have to shit," Matt laughed. "Just taking a moment though at you having decorum." He felt bad having to rely on her for everything though, even walking to and from the bathroom. He knew she didn't mind, but still, a part of him always felt apologetic about asking. "I'll probably have to stop for the other reason soon, but we can start making the food for now." A beat, then he grinned in her direction. "So did you drool, then?"
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Now she understood that Fisk had not truly fought her on their first encounter. He had not wanted to lose the liability he had on Eleanor Bishop. Having taken Kate for granted, she had managed to take him down. Even if Kingpin still managed to escape.
Even to this day, he was still trying to get his hands in their money., No, it was more than that. Kate still remembered their little chat during the gala, the night when Matt had been shot. Fisk's offer, how he had practically demanded donations in exchange of not throwing his rabid dogs at her. Fisk wanted to be back in control of the Bishops, as he had been for years without Kate knowing about it.
For a long time, he had owned her.
"An evil witch?" There was a mixture of surprise and endearment in her voice as she realized Matt was sharing the dreams of a child. "Your dreams sound way more creative than mine." And yet, she felt the urge to hug him. Or maybe, the kid she had never met. Kate made up for it, stroking his arm. "And now you make a living by chasing after that evil."
His father, though. Was he fading from Matt? Did he still have those dreams? She wanted to say something, some encouraging words. But there was a bitter taste in her mouth as she reminded herself that, unless she checked old videos, she couldn't remember her dad's voice. Thankfully, Matt broke the silence with his joke about naked speechs. "Have you ever given one in real life then?" She played along, glad to let the mood change.
It warmed her heart to hear him laugh. In knowing that even in one of their lowest moments, they could still see the light at the end of the tunnel. Matt would get back his powers, he would hopefully share it the next time his abilities were not at their best. Kate would have a new suit. And their bond... They would become an even stronger partnership after this. One that joked about bodily functions, apparently.
"I did not drool! Now you're just making evil assumptions!" Apparently scandalized about the accusation, Kate gasped in faux shock. In the meantime, she was taking out the noodle packets and looking for a pot, ready to fill it with water. "Projecting even. Because you are totally a drooler."
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"An evil witch, yeah," Matt said ruefully. "I think it was during my peak childhood Disney phase. I've since learned witches can be good." He still remembered that sense of terror though, that looming anxiety that something was wrong from the inside of his sanctuary and that it was his job to make it right. It wasn't even a dramatic moment like the Battle of New York for him that had started those first dreams. Just living in Hell's Kitchen day in and out had somehow caused it. His father fading though had definitely come in the wake of his father's passing, then recurred each time Matt lost another piece of his father to faulty memory. It wasn't a dream he had often these days, so many years had passed since he'd lost that grip on his father's real face, voice, and scent.
Now though, sometimes, it was replaced with Foggy.
"I might have given a speech or two when in my boxer shorts in the college dorm room, does that count?" he joked. "Never done one in my birthday suit. And I did no such thing. If my mouth was open I'd be tasting dog slobber in it, right?"
He let his fingers lightly drum on the table, asking hopefully, "Can I help? I can pour things into a pot. Or onto a baking sheet." For the pizza rolls. "You've done so much already... and I like to help." Those simple words so true, from when he was a child fighting a dream evil witch to now in a kitchen filling up a baking sheet.
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"You're helping me have a better sleep," she said softly, but loud enough for him to hear clearly. "You make this city a better place, Matt." She truly believed that. What they stood for. What they sacrificed. Where he would lead them.
"Glad you got over your prejudices," she joked as she went to the fridge, getting out the box of pizza rolls. Joke or not, hopefully that which had haunted him in his dreams had changed these days too. Matt faced so many hardships on his every day life, every night, that the least he deserved was pleasant dreams. A little escape.
It was so unfair, knowing that people like Fisk slept peacefully at night. Kate so hoped she was wrong about that.
"It's close enough for me to take it," Kate laughed, gently pushing Lucky away from the counter as he tried to sniff around for treats. "And are you sure you can't taste dog slobber?"
Ready to get the water to boil, Matt's request changed her plans. For a second, Kate looked around, still feeling a little lost in her mom's roomy kitchen. "Oh! Right! Give me a second. Hummmm..." Matt sure heard her opening cabinets, walking past him and returning, the clicking of Lucky's claws on the floor letting him know the dog followed her every step. "Here! Okay, baking sheet. Here." Placing it before him along with some parchment paper, she guided his hand to the box of pizza rolls. "It's so much easier to find stuff in a kitchen when you only own one set of cutlery." And by that, she means the days back when she only owned one fork, two knives and a spoon.
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"Oh, you know me. Big on redemption," he joked on not holding onto grudges for the wicked witches. His childhood mind had taken larger enemies and dressed them in Disney clothing, but it was still far easier to make jokes now than dig any deeper. He'd started the teasing, after all. He'd expected Kate to follow him on that trail. "Ever met a real witch? I wouldn't be surprised if they existed now, knowing what I do." With people and powers.
"I taste nothing, maybe what Lucky and I have is chaste and pure," Matt joked, then set himself to cutting and setting down the aluminum foil on the baking dish, and spreading out a handful of the pizza rolls. He tried to run his fingers over the container to see if they were pepperoni or not, but he couldn't read the print. A touch sadly, but rallying, he decided it would be fun to be surprised. "Yeah, but if you only own one set, you can't host a dinner party," he told her with a smile. "We can host one together if you ever want, I can show you how much fun they are. Though your real friends won't care if your glasses all match. I cooked my first one in our college dorm kitchen, everyone had a ton of fun, and paper plates were used."
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She couldn't help idealizing the title, still.
At the mention of tasteless dog spit Kate made choking and puking sounds that for Matt would be impossible to miss. Even Lucky pricked up his ears, turning to look at her as if he had been personally offended. Maybe he was.
"Wait, even back then you cooked?" It made sense. A lot of people found pleasure in that from a young age. "What did you serve?" She asked, finally putting the pot on the stove and tapping the buttons to heat it up.
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Ruffling Lucky's head, Matt shook his and protested, "I meant that it was chaste and pure because there wasn't any dog spit to taste! Stop making this ugly, Kate. Lucky's my buddy." Lucky wagged his tail as he chewed on his toy, just happy to be included.
So much his buddy that it was fine to move the pizza rolls with a hand that had touched the dog, right? It wasn't like a regular mouth could taste that. Matt moved each piece apart so that they would bake evenly.
"Oh, I cooked from the time I was a kid." Matt smiled at the memory, moving the tray over a little to show he was done. "My dad was a single parent, you know? He worked a lot with training and fights. He had the neighbor look in on me but I was left alone a lot, and I felt bad that he'd come home so late without anything to eat. So I started making things. Just sandwiches at first, or mac 'n cheese. Pizza rolls. But I found I liked it. We couldn't afford much so it wasn't elaborate, but he'd buy things for me to try and make. And then every so often he'd just take me out for dinner at midnight.
That night at Columbia I made flatbread pizza and Caesar salad, but it all started with bologna and cheese sandwiches waiting for my dad. And me asleep at the kitchen table just waiting to hear about his fight."
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Sure, maybe a doctor would give her an earful, but logic had never stopped Kate before. "Matt the Wizard," she tried, figuring how it rolled off her tongue. "Magical Matthew. Mystical Murdock."
It kinda made sense.
A Matt defended the chastity of his relationship with the retriever, Kate offered a distracted 'uh-huh' that proved she wasn't buying it. Still, as she walked behind him, she didn't waste her chance to poke Matt in a spot she knew he'd find ticklish. Was it that bad without his powers?
Coming back with a couple of ramen bowls for the noodles, complete with a little hole for the chopsticks, she placed them down on the counter and moved to the oven to pre-heat it.
"Dinner at midnight? That sounds fun." Specially for a kid that spent the day by himself. Kate knew what it was like to grow with a single parent. Well, partially. She was never unsupervised, though.
"Fuck, Matt..." That last thing about him falling asleep on the table, waiting for a hardworking dad who's literally come home injured to be able to afford the meals his son was learning to cook by himself. It broke her heart right there. "... I kinda wish I could travel in time to give the little you a hug."
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