She could listen to him for hours. Because as self-conscious as he could be at times, aware that he had been possessed by a deep need to rant about the things he was passionate about, Kate always thought there was something beautiful about it. Even when Matt slipped into his most lawyery mode.
Because she'd always had a soft spot for people who were truly inspiring. Just like Clint and how he had shaped her up, becoming a role model she had idolized for years, a mentor now, there was something about Matt that truly inspired to wanting to be a better person. Perhaps... What she truly wanted to be was someone that matched how highly he spoke of her at times.
"Do you still think this is something God gave you?" She remembered that he'd mention that those were his beliefs, a long time ago. Of course, remembering that right now those powers were not quite working...
Well, Kate regretted her question.
She definitely did not regret the tickles attack, shamelessly laughing at the look Matt shot her way. "Come at me, Murdock," she challenged him, well aware that she would surely blame herself for this in the near future.
As Matt explained, she started to think that the story did sound familiar. They talked about so many things that maybe not everything stuck as it should. She was glad to hear that Matt had such good memories, even though she knew that his childhood must have been tough. "He did sound pretty amazing. You think there's videos online of him fighting? I would love to see that."
There was a stricken look on Matt's face at her question. Not accusing, and he tried to hide it fast, but a momentary expression of grief and worry couldn't help but cross his face. It was the same struggle he'd had in the past, one that he'd never fully put to rest. Was this a gift from God? A calling? A beautiful thread in a larger holy tapestry? Or was he just an angry, unhinged man wanting to have meaning where there was nothing but menace?
"I don't know." His voice was soft, yet old, as though this wasn't a question he was just asking now that his powers were gone.
His gaze fell, not from her, he couldn't see her. His body folded inward, making itself smaller, until he rallied. Murdocks didn't fall though, even when religion failed. He squared his shoulders, raised his head, and tried to smile.
"I'm biding my time," he warned her with the tickling, for now getting caught in playing tug of war with Lucky and his new toy.
"He was amazing." Matt didn't sound doubtful on that. "Yeah, we'd go out for pancakes at shitty diners every so often. I'd fall asleep at school the next day but he'd cover for me. And the nights in between, I made dinner for him and patched him up." He didn't add that his dad had given him a nip of whiskey to control his hands when patching, but the spirit of the loyalty was there. You couldn't separate Matt from his dad when one spoke of the Murdocks back then. He'd spent endless hours studying at the gym, it was just the fights his dad had kept Matt away from. Too many gang members and the mob. His dad tried to keep him safe.
Matt gave Kate a soft smile. "I doubt it. My dad... he didn't win a lot of fights. He wasn't a big name." The locals loved him because he wouldn't stay down even then, he was a bruiser and a battler. He embodied the working class spirit who could take a hit and go to the last round. He didn't often win, though. He wasn't someone who made a lot of publicity. Locals liked him though because he put up one hell of a fight. Until he started throwing matches to afford his son. God, what an asshole he'd been to put that on his dad. To demand moral purity when Jack was in debt. Yet... didn't Matt do that with everyone? Demand the highest standards, no matter the personal cost? Didn't he ask everyone to be a hero?
Hadn't Jack died so his son would have one?
"What about your dad? Any videos?"
Edited (Boxing terms matter?) Date: 2025-05-29 12:40 am (UTC)
Unlike Matt, Kate wasn't a huge believer. She had an open mind, one that hoped that there was something out there. Someone that she had once or twice called for help in desperate times. Recently, Kate found herself whispering a call for help the night before she and Clint tried to stop Fisk during the Christmas ball. These days, when Matt was shot. Even though she never put a name on who she hoped might listen to her poor attempt of something closer to a prayer, she still reached out.
Aliens had been a mystery not long ago. Asgardian Gods had been a myth. If anything, Kate liked to keep an open mind, a hope to be pleasantly surprised by life and its mysteries. But then, if God had truly given Matt his powers... Did that mean he had also taken them away?
She said nothing, watching as Matt pulled on that poor capybara as Lucky bit down on it harder and fought to snatch it off his hand.
"You learned to look after your loved ones since you were a kid," Kate noted. It was part of Matt's nature, there was no question about it. Had he also inherited his protectiveness from his dad. Maybe from his mom too. After all, Kate had witnessed how Sister -- God, she couldn't remember her name. But Matt's mom had attempted to get into the orphanage as it burned to help those kids.
Just like Matt did at the police station.
"Maybe there's an article on him or something like that. Like, a community piece or something. It's worth checking around." Maybe she just selfishly wanted to put a face on a man that was so important in Matt's life. Did he look like him? It'd be nice, telling him that. Describing what he had no way of knowing.
"My dad?" Grabbing the baking sheet of pizza rolls Matt had prepared, Kate slid it in the oven now. "Yeah, there's a few videos of him. Family stuff, mostly. Holidays, birthdays. Some of my competitions. Mom was always good at keeping stuff for the memory value." It was no wonder that even after all these years, she still kept even her dad's clothes. And in perfect condition.
Lucky gave playful little growls as he tugged at his toy, shaking his head and trying to wrest it away from Matt. It was a game of tug of war and though Matt let the dog win in the end, he still let the canine earn it. When he finally let Go Lucky hopped a little as if doing his own version of a victory dance before darting away with his prize.
"Yeah, I guess I did," Matt admitted on learning how to look after his loved ones. "We learn from what's around us, right?" He certainly had. There had been some lessons in what not to do in Hell's Kitchen, but he'd also experienced a community that looked after one another, too. The seedy underbelly couldn't completely take away the good parts.
"There were a few articles. Not many, but a few." Including not just some boxing matches, but also the story of Matt losing his sight to save a man from a truck, and about the night Jack was murdered. He'd kept a few in his old trunk that had burned, along with his dad's gloves. "You might be able to find them if you wanted, but none are that in depth or extensive." At the end of the day to most, Jack Murdock had just been a local boxer, one of the city's many losses.
"Maybe you could play one sometime, so I could hear what he sounded like." He could imagine the man from Kate, but it was different than hearing the real voice.
Picking one of the packets of noodles and opening the first one, Kate pulled out the plastig bag that contained the mixture of chili and soy sauce. Soon, she was dunking the brick of a pale yellow, dry noodles in the boiling water.
"You learned to fight for what's right," she murmured, coming to Matt's side and leaning next to him with her back against the counter. "To always stand up again," she almost seemed to recite the motto she was learned from Matt, warmth in her tone. Kate would always be in awe of his tenacity. "And to look after people." She was probably missing so many things. But she liked to think she had learned a few about Jack Murdock through his son.
"It's worth checking it out," Kate insisted. Even reading a couple of short paragraphs. Hopefully, if she was lucky, they'd come with a photo. "Have you thought about that thing we discussed once?" She suddenly asked, her tone shifting into something far more curious now. "About printing your dad's or Foggy's picture in 3D?"
It wouldn't be too expensive anyway, if that was what worried Matt.
"... I might have something in the Cloud me and mom shared."
"I did." Even Matt without powers could smell the seasoned umami of the broth once the packet was added. "I was fortunate to have good role models." Plus one role model who dipped out before he became a worse one, maybe. He reached out to feel along the counter until he reached her, then gave her arm a little bump. "It sounds like you did too, from what you've said about your dad. That he lived life to the fullest, wasn't afraid to take some risks, and that he loved his family more than anything." That, too, sounded a lot like Kate.
He held his hands up in surrender then as she insisted in hunting down articles on Jack. "For be it for me to think I could dissuade you," he teased her with affection. Dropping his hands he added, "And I thought about it, but I dunno... would it be weird to have just two head busts in a room? I know museums have them, but you don't really find them in apartments."
The way Matt turned the subject towards her shouldn't have surprised Kate. He often did that, turning around a question, wanting to learn more about others. Of course, he never shied away from giving a compliment.
In this case, one that truly reached Kate's heart. "Yeah, maybe." She was obviously touched, leaning against him and bumping him back. "Mom always said that Dad drove her insane sometimes. He would go away a few days for a business trip and come back a day later after a detour to go rock climbing or to try some incredible zip line or go swimming with sharks." She still remembered how excited her dad had been. He had brought her the biggest shark plushie and spent hours showing her videos and talking about the adventure. "Maybe I did inherit that from him. Driving mom nuts."
As Matt gave up, Kate snorted, but was clearly proud of herself. "Well, they don't need to be busts. For what I've seen they also do these reliefs, like a 3D painting?" Which, to most people might still be weird. "You don't have to keep them on display, you can always get them out of a box when you need to see them." She remembered how he kept his dad's boxing gloves and Stick's batons in some chest.
What had happened with all that? It was probably gone with Matt's apartment. Kate didn't dare to ask.
"Besides, fuck it, you have a devil costume at home. I have trick arrows. Some people have fetish stuff in their closet. Who cares? It's nobody else's business."
"It sounds like inherited both driving your mom insane and a love of adventure from him. I suspect a part of your mom does also admire it, even if she wishes you were safe. I can see the impromptu personal trips during a business one being annoying, though." Matt entirely understood people in a relationship needing time and activities on their own, but routinely extending business trips to zipline when there was a child at home to look after would probably make him grumble a little too unless it was already pre-arranged that was what he always did.
"A 3D painting might be a little less weird," Matt admitted with a small nod. "And no, I shouldn't care what people think, except..." he hesitated, then added, "Well, Foggy thought it was weird. When I touched his face that one time. He let me do it, but he wasn't comfortable with me doing it again. I don't know if this crosses a line, since it is his face but also not." Matt genuinely didn't know what the right thing to do in that instance was. "My dad never cared, but well. Do you think it's invasive to do it in Foggy's case?"
"Yeah, when I was a kid I heard them fight many times. I always thought mom was being mean to dad. You know, making a big deal about nothing. Stopping his fun." But that had been a world seen though the lenses of a child. "Now I get it. Dad was doing stupid and dangerous things." But, what was worse. "Business with dangeorus people." With Wilson Fisk of all people.
Derek Bishop was not the perfect father she idealized her whole life.
As Matt shared his fears, Kate carefully considered them. She understood that he had a point. "I don't know, it's -- I think it's different." Is it? "There's something intimate about touching another person's face." She couldn't help it, turning to look at him, remembering the moment they had shared earlier in the sofa. Matt didn't have to, but he had caressed her face too. Telling Kate he would protect her with his life.
Intimacy... Can be platonic too, right?
"But, I don't know. People have pictures and videos to remember him. You don't. And you're his best friend." It was unfair that all Matt had waws words in Braille and the sounds of Foggy's voice. "I think he'd understand."
Matt nodded in understanding. "My dad fell in with the mob," he admitted. "He started working for them, taking money to throw fights." It had been a very disillusioning moment when Matt had realized what his father was doing. He'd tried desperately to convince his dad to mend his ways, then carried the guilt afterwards of Jack taking him up on that and dying for it. "It's always hard when you realize your parents aren't perfect, and some are certainly less perfect than others." Still, he imagined it was a moment that most people had in their lives.
His touching Foggy had certainly been platonic, but Matt understood why it was still a bit too close and personal for the man's taste. Especially back then men touching one another like that wasn't common, even with Matt and Foggy hugging and hanging around one another's shoulders was common. Would Foggy be more understanding now? Maybe. It wasn't really his friend's face, even if it was. "I guess... I don't know. We can have it made. After that I can decide if it's okay to keep or maybe give to his mom if it doesn't feel right. Just tell me how much I owe you for it."
Kate had heard many things about Jack Murdock, with Matt mentioning that he had some shortcomings even though he was a fabulous dad. But Kate had never ever imagined that he might have commited the same mistake her own father did. Both had lost their lives for different reasons, but Derek had gambled with his family's destiny.
Matt had a point, though. Most people probably had a hard time realizing their parents weren't great. "Yeah. Now I understand my mom a little better, at least. She had to make some really hard choices. Even if she fucked up massively."
She rested her head on his shoulder, finding a strange comfort in feeling like she and Matt almost shared something in this experience.
"Yeah, that doesn't sound too bad. And if you ever needed to touch his face again, you could visit his family and do it." Would it be weird for Foggy's parents? No, they would probably understand why something like that would be special to Matt. "Hey, if you could afford to get me a squishy dumpling, I can afford this for you."
She needed a photo of Matt's dad, though. Kate wanted him to remember what his dad's face was like.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 12:13 am (UTC)Because she'd always had a soft spot for people who were truly inspiring. Just like Clint and how he had shaped her up, becoming a role model she had idolized for years, a mentor now, there was something about Matt that truly inspired to wanting to be a better person. Perhaps... What she truly wanted to be was someone that matched how highly he spoke of her at times.
"Do you still think this is something God gave you?" She remembered that he'd mention that those were his beliefs, a long time ago. Of course, remembering that right now those powers were not quite working...
Well, Kate regretted her question.
She definitely did not regret the tickles attack, shamelessly laughing at the look Matt shot her way. "Come at me, Murdock," she challenged him, well aware that she would surely blame herself for this in the near future.
As Matt explained, she started to think that the story did sound familiar. They talked about so many things that maybe not everything stuck as it should. She was glad to hear that Matt had such good memories, even though she knew that his childhood must have been tough. "He did sound pretty amazing. You think there's videos online of him fighting? I would love to see that."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 12:33 am (UTC)"I don't know." His voice was soft, yet old, as though this wasn't a question he was just asking now that his powers were gone.
His gaze fell, not from her, he couldn't see her. His body folded inward, making itself smaller, until he rallied. Murdocks didn't fall though, even when religion failed. He squared his shoulders, raised his head, and tried to smile.
"I'm biding my time," he warned her with the tickling, for now getting caught in playing tug of war with Lucky and his new toy.
"He was amazing." Matt didn't sound doubtful on that. "Yeah, we'd go out for pancakes at shitty diners every so often. I'd fall asleep at school the next day but he'd cover for me. And the nights in between, I made dinner for him and patched him up." He didn't add that his dad had given him a nip of whiskey to control his hands when patching, but the spirit of the loyalty was there. You couldn't separate Matt from his dad when one spoke of the Murdocks back then. He'd spent endless hours studying at the gym, it was just the fights his dad had kept Matt away from. Too many gang members and the mob. His dad tried to keep him safe.
Matt gave Kate a soft smile. "I doubt it. My dad... he didn't win a lot of fights. He wasn't a big name." The locals loved him because he wouldn't stay down even then, he was a bruiser and a battler. He embodied the working class spirit who could take a hit and go to the last round. He didn't often win, though. He wasn't someone who made a lot of publicity. Locals liked him though because he put up one hell of a fight. Until he started throwing matches to afford his son. God, what an asshole he'd been to put that on his dad. To demand moral purity when Jack was in debt. Yet... didn't Matt do that with everyone? Demand the highest standards, no matter the personal cost? Didn't he ask everyone to be a hero?
Hadn't Jack died so his son would have one?
"What about your dad? Any videos?"
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 07:37 am (UTC)Aliens had been a mystery not long ago. Asgardian Gods had been a myth. If anything, Kate liked to keep an open mind, a hope to be pleasantly surprised by life and its mysteries. But then, if God had truly given Matt his powers... Did that mean he had also taken them away?
She said nothing, watching as Matt pulled on that poor capybara as Lucky bit down on it harder and fought to snatch it off his hand.
"You learned to look after your loved ones since you were a kid," Kate noted. It was part of Matt's nature, there was no question about it. Had he also inherited his protectiveness from his dad. Maybe from his mom too. After all, Kate had witnessed how Sister -- God, she couldn't remember her name. But Matt's mom had attempted to get into the orphanage as it burned to help those kids.
Just like Matt did at the police station.
"Maybe there's an article on him or something like that. Like, a community piece or something. It's worth checking around." Maybe she just selfishly wanted to put a face on a man that was so important in Matt's life. Did he look like him? It'd be nice, telling him that. Describing what he had no way of knowing.
"My dad?" Grabbing the baking sheet of pizza rolls Matt had prepared, Kate slid it in the oven now. "Yeah, there's a few videos of him. Family stuff, mostly. Holidays, birthdays. Some of my competitions. Mom was always good at keeping stuff for the memory value." It was no wonder that even after all these years, she still kept even her dad's clothes. And in perfect condition.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 11:16 am (UTC)"Yeah, I guess I did," Matt admitted on learning how to look after his loved ones. "We learn from what's around us, right?" He certainly had. There had been some lessons in what not to do in Hell's Kitchen, but he'd also experienced a community that looked after one another, too. The seedy underbelly couldn't completely take away the good parts.
"There were a few articles. Not many, but a few." Including not just some boxing matches, but also the story of Matt losing his sight to save a man from a truck, and about the night Jack was murdered. He'd kept a few in his old trunk that had burned, along with his dad's gloves. "You might be able to find them if you wanted, but none are that in depth or extensive." At the end of the day to most, Jack Murdock had just been a local boxer, one of the city's many losses.
"Maybe you could play one sometime, so I could hear what he sounded like." He could imagine the man from Kate, but it was different than hearing the real voice.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 06:29 pm (UTC)"You learned to fight for what's right," she murmured, coming to Matt's side and leaning next to him with her back against the counter. "To always stand up again," she almost seemed to recite the motto she was learned from Matt, warmth in her tone. Kate would always be in awe of his tenacity. "And to look after people." She was probably missing so many things. But she liked to think she had learned a few about Jack Murdock through his son.
"It's worth checking it out," Kate insisted. Even reading a couple of short paragraphs. Hopefully, if she was lucky, they'd come with a photo. "Have you thought about that thing we discussed once?" She suddenly asked, her tone shifting into something far more curious now. "About printing your dad's or Foggy's picture in 3D?"
It wouldn't be too expensive anyway, if that was what worried Matt.
"... I might have something in the Cloud me and mom shared."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 09:11 pm (UTC)He held his hands up in surrender then as she insisted in hunting down articles on Jack. "For be it for me to think I could dissuade you," he teased her with affection. Dropping his hands he added, "And I thought about it, but I dunno... would it be weird to have just two head busts in a room? I know museums have them, but you don't really find them in apartments."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 09:42 pm (UTC)In this case, one that truly reached Kate's heart. "Yeah, maybe." She was obviously touched, leaning against him and bumping him back. "Mom always said that Dad drove her insane sometimes. He would go away a few days for a business trip and come back a day later after a detour to go rock climbing or to try some incredible zip line or go swimming with sharks." She still remembered how excited her dad had been. He had brought her the biggest shark plushie and spent hours showing her videos and talking about the adventure. "Maybe I did inherit that from him. Driving mom nuts."
As Matt gave up, Kate snorted, but was clearly proud of herself. "Well, they don't need to be busts. For what I've seen they also do these reliefs, like a 3D painting?" Which, to most people might still be weird. "You don't have to keep them on display, you can always get them out of a box when you need to see them." She remembered how he kept his dad's boxing gloves and Stick's batons in some chest.
What had happened with all that? It was probably gone with Matt's apartment. Kate didn't dare to ask.
"Besides, fuck it, you have a devil costume at home. I have trick arrows. Some people have fetish stuff in their closet. Who cares? It's nobody else's business."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 10:03 pm (UTC)"A 3D painting might be a little less weird," Matt admitted with a small nod. "And no, I shouldn't care what people think, except..." he hesitated, then added, "Well, Foggy thought it was weird. When I touched his face that one time. He let me do it, but he wasn't comfortable with me doing it again. I don't know if this crosses a line, since it is his face but also not." Matt genuinely didn't know what the right thing to do in that instance was. "My dad never cared, but well. Do you think it's invasive to do it in Foggy's case?"
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 10:17 pm (UTC)Derek Bishop was not the perfect father she idealized her whole life.
As Matt shared his fears, Kate carefully considered them. She understood that he had a point. "I don't know, it's -- I think it's different." Is it? "There's something intimate about touching another person's face." She couldn't help it, turning to look at him, remembering the moment they had shared earlier in the sofa. Matt didn't have to, but he had caressed her face too. Telling Kate he would protect her with his life.
Intimacy... Can be platonic too, right?
"But, I don't know. People have pictures and videos to remember him. You don't. And you're his best friend." It was unfair that all Matt had waws words in Braille and the sounds of Foggy's voice. "I think he'd understand."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 10:34 pm (UTC)His touching Foggy had certainly been platonic, but Matt understood why it was still a bit too close and personal for the man's taste. Especially back then men touching one another like that wasn't common, even with Matt and Foggy hugging and hanging around one another's shoulders was common. Would Foggy be more understanding now? Maybe. It wasn't really his friend's face, even if it was. "I guess... I don't know. We can have it made. After that I can decide if it's okay to keep or maybe give to his mom if it doesn't feel right. Just tell me how much I owe you for it."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-29 11:26 pm (UTC)Matt had a point, though. Most people probably had a hard time realizing their parents weren't great. "Yeah. Now I understand my mom a little better, at least. She had to make some really hard choices. Even if she fucked up massively."
She rested her head on his shoulder, finding a strange comfort in feeling like she and Matt almost shared something in this experience.
"Yeah, that doesn't sound too bad. And if you ever needed to touch his face again, you could visit his family and do it." Would it be weird for Foggy's parents? No, they would probably understand why something like that would be special to Matt. "Hey, if you could afford to get me a squishy dumpling, I can afford this for you."
She needed a photo of Matt's dad, though. Kate wanted him to remember what his dad's face was like.