Matt had something against any group of powerful individuals making decisions for other people without any proper checks and balances against them. It wasn't that he hated any of them personally, he even admired a lot about Captain America, but he still didn't like the idea of Fury leading a team of people who might save the world, or they might plunge everyone in a mask into revealing their identities because Stark couldn't deal with his own guilt. Even Matt himself didn't feel he was above the law, which was one reason he still wrestled with having tossed Bullseye off that roof. He should turn himself in, even if Cherry had chosen not to press charges when finding Matt on the roof. Matt knew he towed a dangerous line, and maybe that was in part why he did now have an honest retired cop on his bankroll. A way to check himself from going too far against the law, especially right now when it was all so murky with the police corruption.
He'd fallen deep in thought, so when Eleanor pulled him out of it he gave a sheepish smile. "Mm? Oh. Yeah, of course." He looked curious, wondering what Eleanor had to say to him. He hoped she wasn't going to press him about what he'd done when saving her again, the seeming abilities he'd displayed. Maybe she wanted to ask him about Kate? He made his way to Claire's kitchen table while everyone else went into the living room, settling in one of the chairs. Hands folded on the table, his head was tilted in Eleanor's direction expectantly. He waited patiently to hear what was on her mind.
Even though Kate couldn't help but look a little nervous as she watched her mom walk away with Matt, she was quick to come to Claire's side to help her tidy things up. Having a sudden coughing fit, the nurse encouraged her to have some more drops for it as her phone started ringing.
Eleanor watched her daughter longingly from the hallway before she disappeared into the kitchen. It was almost surreal to think that not only was she out of Ryker's, but also that Kate was right there, within her grasp. She could tell that things were civil right now, but those wounds were held with flimsy stitches. And Kate had always had such a strong sense of justice, as strong as that mischievous way she had to get her way in the most unpredictable manners.
"I need to thank you, first and foremost," Eleanor started, coming to join Matt at the table and pulling back the chair opposite from where he was sitting. "I'm aware that Kate is an adult and that... " She grew quiet, almost as if it pained her to admit the words outloud. "That I still struggle to see her as more than my little girl. Surely you understand that." Eleanor sighed. "But I've seen the way all of you look after each other. I needed to thank you for that. For the way all of you have taken good care of Kate."
He heard Kate coughing in the other room, a reminder that he had somewhere to be before too long. A meeting with the task force. He couldn't ask Kate to come with him, not when she was unwell. Matt thought briefly of asking Peter, but another part of him said that to really drive the point home, he had to see to matters himself tonight. He'd go visit his mother at the hospital, then he'd give them the win that they all so desperately needed.
He kept an ear out for Kate and Claire in the living room, not to spy so much as out of worry, while the rest of his attention focused on Eleanor.
A small nod was his answer that he did understand. "I don't have children of my own, Mrs. Bishop - Ms. Bishop?" He didn't know how she preferred being addressed. Some widowers always kept the married honorifics, others let them go. "I can imagine though that seeing them as an adult can be complicated." He hoped to one day experience that conflict personally, though with less interpersonal wounds involved as he had with his mother and Kate had with hers. "Kate is a very important friend to me, and I'll always do my best to look out for her. I can promise you that."
"Eleanor, please." Kate's mother insisted, not forgetting that Matthew had offered the same to her. Giving their position, she was happy to be on a first-name basis with him. Because even though she still had qualms about what Kate do, by now Eleanor was aware that this was not her choice anymore. She had no way of sheltering her daughter.
That was a power she had lost a long time ago, almost without realizing it.
"I won't ask for the details, but please do not insult my intelligence by pretending we don't know what we are talking about here." Despite of the bluntness, there was a certain softness to her voice, one that hoped to keep things in good terms between them. "I don't like that Kate involves herself in the things she does. It's keep me awake at night, worrying every time I hear things in the news." On the passing, whenever the TV at the recreational news was set on the news. When guards commmented on what they saw on the news. Eleanor had recognised them, the mentions of some woman archer stopping a robbery, capturing some crooks.
But even on the occassions that descritions didn't fit, Eleanor couldn't help but known that Kate was also out there. Doing something reckless.
"Eleanor." Matt accepted the reciprocated familiarity with a nod. He stayed quiet and respectful as Eleanor continued to talk. There was a look of understanding on Matt's face as Eleanor wanted to be involved in her daughter's life. She wanted to do what she could to still keep Kate safe. It wasn't the cause of Manhattan being on fire right now, it wasn't tasking down Fisk. For Eleanor Bishop, her single-minded focus was on Kate's well-being and safety. A part of Matt sympathized, he really did. It couldn't be easy to have your child out on the streets fighting for justice. He wondered if Maggie felt at all that way, or if she was serene in accepting Matt's 'calling' as they both liked to refer to it as. He'd never asked, and Maggie wasn't the sort of person to just volunteer information.
"I understand you wanting to help, as much as I can not being a parent myself. I really do. I think the person you need to have that conversation with though is Kate, not me," he pointed out gently. "Those involved in doing what she does, it's a close-knit thing. I don't think you helping could be kept a secret anyway, and more importantly, I think Kate deserves to know if her mother is involved in that part of her life. Don't you agree?" He wasn't sure if Eleanor would agree, or not. "What sort of help were you thinking of, anyway? Financial?"
Eleanor remained quiet for a moment as Matt reminded her of what she already knew. Of the chance she thought she had lost, but that she seemed to have earned a second chance at. It was hard to tell. however, how Kate would take the news. What she would think of her mother, even though deep down Eleanor was well aware that the very worst of her was already out.
She nodded at Matt's question, before saying it outloud. "Yes, there's..." She rubbed at her good eye, around the area the bruises from her nose had not quite reached yet. Everything felt tender though. Her body, the situation, the future. All on thin ice.
"There's some accounts offshore," she started. The ones the FBI had not found about. The ones Eleanor was extra-careful about. "Money laundring. Not the ones I used for Fisk." That was long gone. But Eleanor had been careful about keeping things aside, the company not involved to clear the name of shareholders and for Kate, as an adult, to be able to inherit it. These other accounts... Were a safety net. "I trust they might still be out of his radar."
Matt could hear the conflict in Eleanor's tone. The pain of her current injuries along with the softness and pausing over past wounds. He couldn't help it. There was compassion in his heart, as much as he also understood and fully supported what Kate did and how she felt about her mother. Matt reached out, resting his hand on the table, palm up. A silent offering if Eleanor needed a literal hand for support to hold. He was a tactile, affectionate person who wanted to offer what he found comforting. He knew not everyone was that way though, so he wouldn't be offended if she didn't take it. It was there regardless, in case needed or wanted.
"I think it's very clear how much you love Kate," he said quietly, gently. "That you'd do anything for her." Which could be a good or bad thing, obviously, but he trusted Eleanor's heart was in the right place. "That's good to know about the money and the accounts. It's money that I could make suggestions on where it could go to help. First though, either you or I would need to ask Kate if she's all right with that. Just as she's what matters to you in this talk, she's also what matters to me." He wouldn't budge on that, but he'd be willing to let Eleanor help if Kate was all right with it. "I'm glad we met, by the way. Even if it wasn't under great circumstances."
It terrified Eleanor at times how such a simple gesture. Something so small that Matthew probably hadn't even think about twice, how much weight it carried.
Eleanor had experiencied that same type of kindness at the penitentiary too. It had seemed unthinkable at the time. Some of the women at Ryker had been tough and frightening and, even though Eleanor herself had tried to appear made of steel, she couldn't always fool others. Nor even herself.
But then she had also met other women, women that like herself had made terrible mistakes. Others that could only be blamed of making ends meet, or doing whatever it took to look after their families. Women who's only crime was being born under the wrong circumstances and being pushed down by life itself. They had not dug those holes they were trapped in, but they were kicked down every time they fought to get out, as if they didn't deserve to hope for a life under the sun.
These women looked after each other. Showed a camaraderie that felt long lost in Eleanor's life. They joked, dreamed and took others under their wings. They wore cheap makeup or turned whatever was within reach into it. They did each other's hair, had done hers. They lived with far more dignity that some of the socialites she had spent countless evenings discussing business and meaningless things. Objects, art, brands, all worth abstract sums of money only because it was them, that 1%, that granted them that value.
Eleanor placed her hand in Matthew's hand.
"It's terrifying," she admitted. She wondered if he'd thought about it, specially after he explained that he didn't have any children of his own. "Because you are always aware that the time will come. That one day you're not going to be 'super mom' anymore." Even though Matt couldn't see it, it was obvious that the coversation was making Eleanor a little emotional. She laughed softly, a little flustered. "I was never 'cool mom', that was my husband. Derek brought the light in Kate's eyes."
It had hurt her for a long time. Aside from Derek's mistakes, she had resented Kate's favoritism towards him for a while, it had fed on her grudges, despite of how she also loved him.
"But I was still mom. And I always knew it'd come a day when that would come to an end. When she'd be rebellious and would challenge me." Eleanor sighed. "And that's fine, it's natural. We all went through that phase with our own parents." Eleanor squeezed Matt's hand without realzing it. "Nothing prepares you for your child to see you as a monster."
Matt wasn't a priest, but he understood intimately what it was like to make a confession. The courage it took to voice one's sins and worries into the world, to entrust in another's ears and hearts. To speak out loud was to let the past sit in judgement without the stories a mind could spin to protect itself. He wasn't a spiritual advisor nor was he a therapist, but he felt responsible for what Eleanor shared with him because he felt she needed and deserved that respect. So much of prison was about taking away not just rights but personhood - he'd long been an advocate for prison reform because of it. It didn't go past Matt's notice that Eleanor had nearly been murdered multiple times earlier today, sustained harrowing injuries, and was now an on the run convict staying in a stranger's house, yet all she cared about and could focus on was Kate.
Perhaps this time around she could find a balance, find a way to live for herself too, but Matt understood so well what it was like to give yourself entirely to a cause. In this case, her daughter.
He held her hand, squeezing it gently at certain parts in the story. He tried to let his energy flow through to her, to be a steady presence like she wanted to be for Kate. The hurt that she had accepted would come but couldn't fully know what it would feel like until it happened. The weary acceptance that her role in Kate's life would never be what it was, what it might have been.
It was a delicate line, because Matt wouldn't betray confidences. He only shared what he thought Kate might be all right with him saying.
"You have a remarkable daughter, Eleanor. I understand why you worked so hard to keep her close. I can't imagine what it's like now, to have to work through what you two do. I do know though that Kate's heart is larger than anyone's I know. She's compassionate, even when she's hurt. I can't, and won't, speak for her, but I do know that she was ready to tear the prison apart when you were hurt. You aren't just some monster, Eleanor. You are her mother. What that means might not be everything you both wanted, but she's here now for you to figure out what it can mean going forward. I know you're going to fight for her. And I respect the hell out of you for that, just as I respect whatever choice Kate makes about it.
For what it's worth, if you want to show her that things can be different now, I suggest telling her what you want. That you can help. And respecting whatever she says after it. She wants you in her life, Eleanor. It's on you though to show her she's not crazy for that. To let it be on her terms."
A beat.
"You know, I didn't know my mother until I was an adult. She gave me up as an infant. I was angry for a long time. Sometimes I still am. She's in my life now, though. It's not a conventional mother-son relationship, but it works for us. For what it's worth. What's that song? You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you find you get what you need?"
Eleanor had always been a woman that valued her pride. It was what had ignited the love between her and Derek, as she had never been afraid to hold her punches even though that could have earned her a powerful enemy and, most importantly, her job. She had been just as firm when meeting Wilson Fisk, defying him by stating she would only work for him until her late husband's debt was paid. And she had kept that promise, even though that had almost costed her life. Eleanor had kept alive that fire within her, even when facing a woman twice her size who wanted her dead. She had taken the punches, had taken that stab.
But it was a gentle young man who had worked his way through the cracks in her armor.
"I'm - I'm sorry," she apologized once she was aware that surely Matthew could feel her trembling hand. How it clinged to him. An anchor both physically and through his generous words.
It took a moment before she regained her composure. A long moment in which she was thankful for how respectful he was, for his patience. For how he had not let go of her hand. But then, Matthew did not strike her as the kind of man who gave up on people. Who let go.
"I don't normally open up to people. And these fears, these secrets, they take their toll. I imagine you do understand." Eleanor did not want to take any guessed, to put him on the spot. But there was no need to spell outloud what they both already knew about the other. "Don't ever let them eat you up, Matthew. Because they will eat you alive."
She wiped her face, her hold on his hand losing its tightness.
"That was so very generous of you." She admitted. "It does mean the world to me that--" She considered her words. What had happened, what could change. What she could or not fix anymore. "That Kate surrounds herself of people like you and Claire. Whatever happens, I know that from now on I'll have a better sleep at night thanks to that."
There was a momentary look of confusion Matt's face at Eleanor's apology, a knitting of the brows on why she'd apologize for being emotional after such harrowing experiences, when it clicked for Matt. He might have compassion and understanding for Eleanor, but she held none for herself. She was the rock of her family, the foundation upon which everything had rested. Now that it was upturned, now that they had to figure out what this new normal was, it had upset everything she had built herself upon. She was a strong woman who refused to break, who thought she was doing right by the coldness she'd shown.
Foggy had been that rock for Matt. He couldn't return the favor now that Foggy was dead, but he could pay it forward. It would be what his friend would have wanted, anyway.
"Safe space," he murmured quietly, rocking her hand in his a little. "You don't have to apologize. What you said won't leave this room." Nothing she'd said was harmful, so he'd keep her confidence. Everyone deserved a place and a person to talk to, Matt felt that deep in his soul. "I know we don't know one another very well, Eleanor, and you know my loyalty is to Kate. That doesn't mean though that I can't lend an ear to what you're going through. I was very lucky to have someone to talk to for most of my life. I don't say it lightly that if you ever need someone to just listen, I don't mind. Unless it's gonna harm Kate or someone else, I'll listen and keep it between us.
I think you've been very strong for your family. It took me years to realize that showing up for those we love sometimes means making mistakes. Mistakes that cost lives. I'm not saying those mistakes are okay, and I don't think you'd want to be absolved of them like that. I just know that love is messy and complicated, and I do think you love a lot. I think you love like few do. That can be an asset. I have hope you're gonna make it one." Matt Murdock believed in second chances, he believed in redemption.
Maybe this wasn't the win he'd thought about with the task force, but sharing a moment with Eleanor? Maybe this was one in another way.
He gave a small snort at her asking him not to let those eat him up alive for his heart bleeding. "That's good advice. I'm shit at taking it, but you make a good point. Sometimes though, you put your faith in someone and they prove it was worthwhile." Eleanor could understand that on a religious level that nobody else in his life could. "We both know confession isn't about saying you're sorry. It's just the first step. Just know you're not alone in that path. Not if you don't want to be. So yeah. Get some sleep. Figure out what you want. Talk to Kate. Fight. We need people who are willing to stand up right now. It's time to stop fighting Fisk in the shadows. We're gonna bare his ass in the light. A reckoning is coming, and heaven and hell won't be able to stop it."
She couldn't quite wrap up her mind around him. Because, at first she'd figured that what this man and her daughter shared couldn't be all too different than how Clint Barton had taken her under his wing. But she'd seen the familiarity, watched them both Matthew and her daughter banter like family or truly close friends did. It was different from Hawkeye and how the man had set his boundaries, despite of how quickly Kate warmed to people and claimed they were best friends.
Kate truly meant something to Matthew.
Because Eleanor could not be fooled. Some people are willing to offeir their open arms both at strangers with the same ease they did to close, loved ones. And she can tell that Matthew is a generous man. But there's that subtle betrayal. The softness in his voice as he speaks about her. The true sweetness and how he bares his heart as he describes her.
Kate is in good hands.
"I'm not gonna keep my head down," Eleanor finally stated, trying to regain that strenght they had talked about, "I don't care if I end up in prison again. But I've see what he can do. I've endured his threats, living with the constant fear of what he could take away from me." Now, Fisk had always believed himself to be unstoppable, she was sure of ita. But even men like him can be so blinded by the sun itself that they don't see that they're flying too close to it. And he had never flown as high and in the open as he did these days.
Nobody can survive that fall.
"I appreciate your loyalties, Matthew. Trust me, in times like this there's nothing more I could wish for." Someone to put Kate's well-being above everything else. "But I need to do my part. If this money, money earned with blood, if it can do any good and take this man down? I'll give away every penny if that means I can protect my daughter."
Eleanor was nothing if not consistent in her fever, steadfast in her devotion. She would help against Fisk, she would side with their fight, because she thought it would do right by Kate. Eleanor's guiding principle, her true north, wasn't justice and the pursuit of right.
It was family.
Eleanor was the more elegant version of Frank Castle.
It clicked for Matt then, and with it, the awareness that this woman would have to be handled with careful consideration. Oh, Matt didn't doubt her heart, but her choices would never be deferring to anything but Kate's safety and welfare. It wasn't wrong, per say, not in the least. Many people operated not out of vigilante justice or lawful goodness. It just meant that any appeal to Eleanor wouldn't be found at the rosary's end, nor societal good. At least not yet, until she formed an identity outside of Kate's mother. If she ever did.
Was this what he was like? All calling?
Did anyone care like he did for Eleanor that she have more in her life beyond Kate's welfare?
He gave Eleanor's hands a squeeze.
"Talk to your daughter, then. See if she's willing to have you join her fight. If not, do what you will on your own. Either way, I genuinely do want the best for you, Eleanor."
She could tell it, could almost feel that invisible moral gap betwee them. And Eleanor was fine with it, she was glad to fight the only way she could. Like chess, she'd picked the pieces on the board she should focus on, was well aware of which one she wanted to protect before everything was lost.
Would Matthew be another one of her pawns?
"I can't thank you enough," she said with a last squeeze to his hand and finally getting on her feet. "For your time. For your kind words and how you've looked after Kate." And she meant every word. How long has it been since the last time someone's words had truly reached her heart? "Matthew, if there's anything you need that I might be able to help with, I beg you to not hesitate and ask."
Circling the table, she was finally facing him. "As for the rest. I'll talk to Kate."
Once they finally returned to the living room, Claire was found rushing in and out of her bedroom, gathering her things. After all those attacks in the city, the E.R was in need of any extra hands they could get.
Sister Maggie saw Matthew as Lantom did. As one of God's Hands. A catalyst, a man with a cause. He was a divine instrument, not a son first. Just as he'd been to Stick. Oh, there was love embedded, there was compassion and guidance, but at the end of the day? Since Matt was nine he was raised by people who saw an overarching war and guiding rightness as what mattered far more than Matt's life. It had molded Matt, shaped him, and he couldn't be angry at it because he believed in it, too. He served a higher purpose. There were things that mattered more than his life. His own mother would agree with it, as much as she might mourn his death if he died.
It was in direct opposition to Eleanor and the Bishop situation.
Was one right? Was one wrong? Was the story of Abraham and Isaac a testament to faith or child abuse? He'd read Kirkegaard's Fear and Trembling countless times and still found himself circling that moral quandary of where religious, social, and legal law met. Where did personal accountability blur into familial pride or religious devotion?
He gave Eleanor a small smile and nod, a smile that was tired and a touch sad, but understanding and not without sincerity. He genuinely did wish her well.
He made no promises on seeking her aid should he need help but he did say, "I hope your talk with Kate goes well."
Hearing of the trouble at the hospital, his eyes widened. Maggie was there. He stood up, fumbling a little in pushing the chair in.
"I'm coming with you." It wasn't a question as he moved to head out the door with Claire.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-05-17 01:45 pm (UTC)He'd fallen deep in thought, so when Eleanor pulled him out of it he gave a sheepish smile. "Mm? Oh. Yeah, of course." He looked curious, wondering what Eleanor had to say to him. He hoped she wasn't going to press him about what he'd done when saving her again, the seeming abilities he'd displayed. Maybe she wanted to ask him about Kate? He made his way to Claire's kitchen table while everyone else went into the living room, settling in one of the chairs. Hands folded on the table, his head was tilted in Eleanor's direction expectantly. He waited patiently to hear what was on her mind.
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Date: 2025-05-17 02:10 pm (UTC)Eleanor watched her daughter longingly from the hallway before she disappeared into the kitchen. It was almost surreal to think that not only was she out of Ryker's, but also that Kate was right there, within her grasp. She could tell that things were civil right now, but those wounds were held with flimsy stitches. And Kate had always had such a strong sense of justice, as strong as that mischievous way she had to get her way in the most unpredictable manners.
"I need to thank you, first and foremost," Eleanor started, coming to join Matt at the table and pulling back the chair opposite from where he was sitting. "I'm aware that Kate is an adult and that... " She grew quiet, almost as if it pained her to admit the words outloud. "That I still struggle to see her as more than my little girl. Surely you understand that." Eleanor sighed. "But I've seen the way all of you look after each other. I needed to thank you for that. For the way all of you have taken good care of Kate."
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Date: 2025-05-17 02:32 pm (UTC)He kept an ear out for Kate and Claire in the living room, not to spy so much as out of worry, while the rest of his attention focused on Eleanor.
A small nod was his answer that he did understand. "I don't have children of my own, Mrs. Bishop - Ms. Bishop?" He didn't know how she preferred being addressed. Some widowers always kept the married honorifics, others let them go. "I can imagine though that seeing them as an adult can be complicated." He hoped to one day experience that conflict personally, though with less interpersonal wounds involved as he had with his mother and Kate had with hers. "Kate is a very important friend to me, and I'll always do my best to look out for her. I can promise you that."
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Date: 2025-05-17 02:54 pm (UTC)That was a power she had lost a long time ago, almost without realizing it.
"I won't ask for the details, but please do not insult my intelligence by pretending we don't know what we are talking about here." Despite of the bluntness, there was a certain softness to her voice, one that hoped to keep things in good terms between them. "I don't like that Kate involves herself in the things she does. It's keep me awake at night, worrying every time I hear things in the news." On the passing, whenever the TV at the recreational news was set on the news. When guards commmented on what they saw on the news. Eleanor had recognised them, the mentions of some woman archer stopping a robbery, capturing some crooks.
But even on the occassions that descritions didn't fit, Eleanor couldn't help but known that Kate was also out there. Doing something reckless.
"For that reason, I want to help."
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Date: 2025-05-17 03:10 pm (UTC)"I understand you wanting to help, as much as I can not being a parent myself. I really do. I think the person you need to have that conversation with though is Kate, not me," he pointed out gently. "Those involved in doing what she does, it's a close-knit thing. I don't think you helping could be kept a secret anyway, and more importantly, I think Kate deserves to know if her mother is involved in that part of her life. Don't you agree?" He wasn't sure if Eleanor would agree, or not. "What sort of help were you thinking of, anyway? Financial?"
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Date: 2025-05-17 03:51 pm (UTC)She nodded at Matt's question, before saying it outloud. "Yes, there's..." She rubbed at her good eye, around the area the bruises from her nose had not quite reached yet. Everything felt tender though. Her body, the situation, the future. All on thin ice.
"There's some accounts offshore," she started. The ones the FBI had not found about. The ones Eleanor was extra-careful about. "Money laundring. Not the ones I used for Fisk." That was long gone. But Eleanor had been careful about keeping things aside, the company not involved to clear the name of shareholders and for Kate, as an adult, to be able to inherit it. These other accounts... Were a safety net. "I trust they might still be out of his radar."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-17 04:10 pm (UTC)"I think it's very clear how much you love Kate," he said quietly, gently. "That you'd do anything for her." Which could be a good or bad thing, obviously, but he trusted Eleanor's heart was in the right place. "That's good to know about the money and the accounts. It's money that I could make suggestions on where it could go to help. First though, either you or I would need to ask Kate if she's all right with that. Just as she's what matters to you in this talk, she's also what matters to me." He wouldn't budge on that, but he'd be willing to let Eleanor help if Kate was all right with it. "I'm glad we met, by the way. Even if it wasn't under great circumstances."
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Date: 2025-05-17 04:36 pm (UTC)Eleanor had experiencied that same type of kindness at the penitentiary too. It had seemed unthinkable at the time. Some of the women at Ryker had been tough and frightening and, even though Eleanor herself had tried to appear made of steel, she couldn't always fool others. Nor even herself.
But then she had also met other women, women that like herself had made terrible mistakes. Others that could only be blamed of making ends meet, or doing whatever it took to look after their families. Women who's only crime was being born under the wrong circumstances and being pushed down by life itself. They had not dug those holes they were trapped in, but they were kicked down every time they fought to get out, as if they didn't deserve to hope for a life under the sun.
These women looked after each other. Showed a camaraderie that felt long lost in Eleanor's life. They joked, dreamed and took others under their wings. They wore cheap makeup or turned whatever was within reach into it. They did each other's hair, had done hers. They lived with far more dignity that some of the socialites she had spent countless evenings discussing business and meaningless things. Objects, art, brands, all worth abstract sums of money only because it was them, that 1%, that granted them that value.
Eleanor placed her hand in Matthew's hand.
"It's terrifying," she admitted. She wondered if he'd thought about it, specially after he explained that he didn't have any children of his own. "Because you are always aware that the time will come. That one day you're not going to be 'super mom' anymore." Even though Matt couldn't see it, it was obvious that the coversation was making Eleanor a little emotional. She laughed softly, a little flustered. "I was never 'cool mom', that was my husband. Derek brought the light in Kate's eyes."
It had hurt her for a long time. Aside from Derek's mistakes, she had resented Kate's favoritism towards him for a while, it had fed on her grudges, despite of how she also loved him.
"But I was still mom. And I always knew it'd come a day when that would come to an end. When she'd be rebellious and would challenge me." Eleanor sighed. "And that's fine, it's natural. We all went through that phase with our own parents." Eleanor squeezed Matt's hand without realzing it. "Nothing prepares you for your child to see you as a monster."
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Date: 2025-05-17 05:26 pm (UTC)Perhaps this time around she could find a balance, find a way to live for herself too, but Matt understood so well what it was like to give yourself entirely to a cause. In this case, her daughter.
He held her hand, squeezing it gently at certain parts in the story. He tried to let his energy flow through to her, to be a steady presence like she wanted to be for Kate. The hurt that she had accepted would come but couldn't fully know what it would feel like until it happened. The weary acceptance that her role in Kate's life would never be what it was, what it might have been.
It was a delicate line, because Matt wouldn't betray confidences. He only shared what he thought Kate might be all right with him saying.
"You have a remarkable daughter, Eleanor. I understand why you worked so hard to keep her close. I can't imagine what it's like now, to have to work through what you two do. I do know though that Kate's heart is larger than anyone's I know. She's compassionate, even when she's hurt. I can't, and won't, speak for her, but I do know that she was ready to tear the prison apart when you were hurt. You aren't just some monster, Eleanor. You are her mother. What that means might not be everything you both wanted, but she's here now for you to figure out what it can mean going forward. I know you're going to fight for her. And I respect the hell out of you for that, just as I respect whatever choice Kate makes about it.
For what it's worth, if you want to show her that things can be different now, I suggest telling her what you want. That you can help. And respecting whatever she says after it. She wants you in her life, Eleanor. It's on you though to show her she's not crazy for that. To let it be on her terms."
A beat.
"You know, I didn't know my mother until I was an adult. She gave me up as an infant. I was angry for a long time. Sometimes I still am. She's in my life now, though. It's not a conventional mother-son relationship, but it works for us. For what it's worth. What's that song? You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you find you get what you need?"
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Date: 2025-05-17 06:12 pm (UTC)But it was a gentle young man who had worked his way through the cracks in her armor.
For a moment she covered her mouth, it was a frail attempt at keeping the sobs quiet. But it was a lost fight. Eleanor was tired, exhausted of being a rock for everyone, for the company and, most importantly, for Kate. Cold-blooded enough to betray her fiancé, simply because it was part of the plan, what needed to be done in order of protecting her daughter. Their life. Everything she had built with blood, sweat and tears she had only allowed to flow out in the solitude of her empty bedroom.
"I'm - I'm sorry," she apologized once she was aware that surely Matthew could feel her trembling hand. How it clinged to him. An anchor both physically and through his generous words.
It took a moment before she regained her composure. A long moment in which she was thankful for how respectful he was, for his patience. For how he had not let go of her hand. But then, Matthew did not strike her as the kind of man who gave up on people. Who let go.
"I don't normally open up to people. And these fears, these secrets, they take their toll. I imagine you do understand." Eleanor did not want to take any guessed, to put him on the spot. But there was no need to spell outloud what they both already knew about the other. "Don't ever let them eat you up, Matthew. Because they will eat you alive."
She wiped her face, her hold on his hand losing its tightness.
"That was so very generous of you." She admitted. "It does mean the world to me that--" She considered her words. What had happened, what could change. What she could or not fix anymore. "That Kate surrounds herself of people like you and Claire. Whatever happens, I know that from now on I'll have a better sleep at night thanks to that."
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Date: 2025-05-17 06:52 pm (UTC)Foggy had been that rock for Matt. He couldn't return the favor now that Foggy was dead, but he could pay it forward. It would be what his friend would have wanted, anyway.
"Safe space," he murmured quietly, rocking her hand in his a little. "You don't have to apologize. What you said won't leave this room." Nothing she'd said was harmful, so he'd keep her confidence. Everyone deserved a place and a person to talk to, Matt felt that deep in his soul. "I know we don't know one another very well, Eleanor, and you know my loyalty is to Kate. That doesn't mean though that I can't lend an ear to what you're going through. I was very lucky to have someone to talk to for most of my life. I don't say it lightly that if you ever need someone to just listen, I don't mind. Unless it's gonna harm Kate or someone else, I'll listen and keep it between us.
I think you've been very strong for your family. It took me years to realize that showing up for those we love sometimes means making mistakes. Mistakes that cost lives. I'm not saying those mistakes are okay, and I don't think you'd want to be absolved of them like that. I just know that love is messy and complicated, and I do think you love a lot. I think you love like few do. That can be an asset. I have hope you're gonna make it one." Matt Murdock believed in second chances, he believed in redemption.
Maybe this wasn't the win he'd thought about with the task force, but sharing a moment with Eleanor? Maybe this was one in another way.
He gave a small snort at her asking him not to let those eat him up alive for his heart bleeding. "That's good advice. I'm shit at taking it, but you make a good point. Sometimes though, you put your faith in someone and they prove it was worthwhile." Eleanor could understand that on a religious level that nobody else in his life could. "We both know confession isn't about saying you're sorry. It's just the first step. Just know you're not alone in that path. Not if you don't want to be. So yeah. Get some sleep. Figure out what you want. Talk to Kate. Fight. We need people who are willing to stand up right now. It's time to stop fighting Fisk in the shadows. We're gonna bare his ass in the light. A reckoning is coming, and heaven and hell won't be able to stop it."
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Date: 2025-05-17 07:50 pm (UTC)Kate truly meant something to Matthew.
Because Eleanor could not be fooled. Some people are willing to offeir their open arms both at strangers with the same ease they did to close, loved ones. And she can tell that Matthew is a generous man. But there's that subtle betrayal. The softness in his voice as he speaks about her. The true sweetness and how he bares his heart as he describes her.
Kate is in good hands.
"I'm not gonna keep my head down," Eleanor finally stated, trying to regain that strenght they had talked about, "I don't care if I end up in prison again. But I've see what he can do. I've endured his threats, living with the constant fear of what he could take away from me." Now, Fisk had always believed himself to be unstoppable, she was sure of ita. But even men like him can be so blinded by the sun itself that they don't see that they're flying too close to it. And he had never flown as high and in the open as he did these days.
Nobody can survive that fall.
"I appreciate your loyalties, Matthew. Trust me, in times like this there's nothing more I could wish for." Someone to put Kate's well-being above everything else. "But I need to do my part. If this money, money earned with blood, if it can do any good and take this man down? I'll give away every penny if that means I can protect my daughter."
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Date: 2025-05-17 08:07 pm (UTC)Eleanor was nothing if not consistent in her fever, steadfast in her devotion. She would help against Fisk, she would side with their fight, because she thought it would do right by Kate. Eleanor's guiding principle, her true north, wasn't justice and the pursuit of right.
It was family.
Eleanor was the more elegant version of Frank Castle.
It clicked for Matt then, and with it, the awareness that this woman would have to be handled with careful consideration. Oh, Matt didn't doubt her heart, but her choices would never be deferring to anything but Kate's safety and welfare. It wasn't wrong, per say, not in the least. Many people operated not out of vigilante justice or lawful goodness. It just meant that any appeal to Eleanor wouldn't be found at the rosary's end, nor societal good. At least not yet, until she formed an identity outside of Kate's mother. If she ever did.
Was this what he was like? All calling?
Did anyone care like he did for Eleanor that she have more in her life beyond Kate's welfare?
He gave Eleanor's hands a squeeze.
"Talk to your daughter, then. See if she's willing to have you join her fight. If not, do what you will on your own. Either way, I genuinely do want the best for you, Eleanor."
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Date: 2025-05-17 08:32 pm (UTC)Would Matthew be another one of her pawns?
"I can't thank you enough," she said with a last squeeze to his hand and finally getting on her feet. "For your time. For your kind words and how you've looked after Kate." And she meant every word. How long has it been since the last time someone's words had truly reached her heart? "Matthew, if there's anything you need that I might be able to help with, I beg you to not hesitate and ask."
Circling the table, she was finally facing him. "As for the rest. I'll talk to Kate."
Once they finally returned to the living room, Claire was found rushing in and out of her bedroom, gathering her things. After all those attacks in the city, the E.R was in need of any extra hands they could get.
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Date: 2025-05-17 09:00 pm (UTC)It was in direct opposition to Eleanor and the Bishop situation.
Was one right? Was one wrong? Was the story of Abraham and Isaac a testament to faith or child abuse? He'd read Kirkegaard's Fear and Trembling countless times and still found himself circling that moral quandary of where religious, social, and legal law met. Where did personal accountability blur into familial pride or religious devotion?
He gave Eleanor a small smile and nod, a smile that was tired and a touch sad, but understanding and not without sincerity. He genuinely did wish her well.
He made no promises on seeking her aid should he need help but he did say, "I hope your talk with Kate goes well."
Hearing of the trouble at the hospital, his eyes widened. Maggie was there. He stood up, fumbling a little in pushing the chair in.
"I'm coming with you." It wasn't a question as he moved to head out the door with Claire.