Matt's words kept resonating with Kate as she changed her clothes. It was a good plan. He had already helped out letting her know where to reach out and he had reminded her of what a great team of people she has and can trust with this.
It would be great. It would be another goal aside from taking Fisk down. One she can work on while she's not in her suit.
As Matt finally called out to let her know where he was, Kate rushed down to meet the pair. Lucky looked pretty pleased with himself as he played a little tug-o-war with Matt over the leash, while steering him in direction of the door and elevator.
It was a mildly surreal moment, watching someone wearing clothes she remembered vaguely, but that she was well aware of who they belonged to. "They actually fit you pretty good," Kate pointed out in awe. The jeans and a dark red t-shirt that seemed made for Matt.
"They're really nice quality," Matt commented on the clothing. Not that he was surprised, he imagined Kate's family was used to paying a lot of money for premium fabrics. The cashmere and soft denim felt lovely against his skin. "I guess your dad had a boxer's build, then," he joked lightly about the fitting. They did fit Matt rather well, and he knew he was in good shape. Even if his was technically more of a ninja than a boxer, he still deferred to his father's profession in talking. Boxing was still an integral part of his training, a workout routine that Matt found to be Zen when it was just him and a punching bag.
"Hey, buddy, let's put this one properly..." Matt had to say this a few times as Lucky tugged him along in a delighted game to the elevator. It was only once they were on it that Matt was able to take the leash out of Lucky's mouth and clip it to his collar. He ruffled the dog's head and smiled though at this silliness.
Once at the door Matt of course paused to talk to Walter, asking when the man's next day off was because he clearly worked too hard. Walter in turn clucked over the bruises on Matt's face. Matt asked if he liked Vietnamese coffee since they were going to Chinatown and promised to bring Walter back a nice cold cup of it. He turned to Kate then and after some consideration folded up his walking stick. He pocketed it and took Kate's elbow, holding Lucky's leash in the other hand. As sweet as the dog was he wasn't actually a guide dog, so he'd have to rely on Kate to really get around. "It's strange," he admitted. "Not hearing... everything."
It was another form of a blessing, the fact that Matt's nose wasn't as tuned as it normally was. Because even though her father's old clothes were stored with care, they did have the particular smell of something that was kept in boxes and away the majority of the time. "My dad did a little kickboxing too," it was what encouraged Kate to pursue the sport herself. "But mostly with a persona trainer, not as a real hobby." Derek Bishop loved all kinds of sport and never took down the oportunity to do something crazy and exciting.
He probably would have loved Daredevil for the name alone.
"Look at you. Already a dog dad pro," Kate teased him as she watched the pair interact on the elevator. Matt truly doted on Lucky so much and the love was mutual. Hell, it was Matt's natural talent, really. He blended so well in Kate's life, almost as if it was a regular morning for them going out for a walk.
Kate could tell that Walter was surprised to see them stepping out together first thing in the morning. But the old man saw plenty of thigs during the decades and always respected people's secrecy.
Not that this was a secret...
After promising to bring him some coffe, Kate quickly offered her arm for Matt to grab onto. "Strange in a good way?" She instantly regretted the question. "I mean... All things considered. Like a silver lining."
There was a pause before Matt admitted, "No. Not in a good way." He was quick to clarify, lest he seem ungrateful for the morning, for her, for what they shared in the apartment. "I don't regret getting to experience the world more like you do. More like most people do, especially those that are blind. It's good to know what it's all like. It's just..." He tried to find the right words to explain, floundering for a few moments. "I'm used to sensing so much more. To knowing more about the people and world around me. Once Stick introduced me to what I could connect with, the world opened up beyond anything I could have ever imagined. So when it shrinks like this, in some ways, it all feels... not lonely, but isolating?"
He squeezed her arm a little as he held it. "Which isn't to say it's all bad. Like I said, I'm grateful to you, and I won't forget what we shared. I just wouldn't want to live like this forever." He did want his powers to come back, to get to know the world as he'd come to know it for three decades now. There was a pause before he added in a lighter tone, "So why don't you be my eyes for me for right now? Tell me what you see. What you're sensing."
For a moment Kate tried to imagine what that meant. Matt once said that he did see some things, blurry shapes around. What if a rainbow colored and flashy world suddenly lost its nuances. For a moment she imagined Time Square, all so busy and flashy that at times it seems unbearable. What if there was a sudden blackout, one that had nothing to do with Fisk. One that made the city quieter. Maybe they would enjoy the stars, for a change. Quietness. It would be nice for an evening, but she would be glad to have her internet back the next day.
"No, I totally get it," Kate was quick to clarify, squeezing Matt's arm as she gently guided him to steer a little towards her side, warning him about a guy on bycicle coming their way. "You experienced a super rich world for decades and suddenly it all going quiet must be weird." Not to mention that it made him rely on others too. Even if he fakes being more vulnerable than others most of the time, Matt would still losing his independance.
"Hmmm? Okay..." Kate didn't even realize how her free hand came to his arm as she leaned towards Matt. "Well, the sky is bright blue this morning and there's only a few fluffy clowds." Does he even remember what that looks like? "There's someone moving to the building next door. They're taking things out of this van and the woman has a baby. So newlyweds? I'm gonna call her Brianna."
[OOC: I'm still doing my DD rewatch and I finally made it through the Stick ep. Oh my heart, I love Stick so much. The bracelet!]
He listened to Kate's voice, letting her cadence and tone wash over him. Letting her words guide him on what was going on around them. Some things he could picture easier than others, and some things he pictured in his way, mental images of shapes and forms rather than people with specific defining features. He smiled a little as Kate woven in her own story about the couple moving into the building next door, not at all surprised she'd craft a narrative based on her deductions. "That sounds plausible. Moving into a new place with a baby, sounds like they could use some coffee, too. Though now I have to know, what does a Brianna look like?" He figured she had a reason for going for that name.
He paused when she told him to, and moved to the side as the bicycle was ridden past them. The joys of living in a crowded state with a lot of foot and bike traffic. He could hear conversation, though not really the specifics. He could smell the streets, the vendors, but not individual scents. It was like having a blanket put over him, muffling him as he moved. He did have to rely on Kate and Lucky, a humbling experience. Though he wouldn't whine about it. He was fortunate to have someone to guide him. To be alive. To trust that his powers would return soon.
"I remember the first time I really used my senses," he mused to her in a quiet voice, keeping it vague. "That I realized the world could be larger than I imagined. Believe it or not, ice cream was involved."
[ooc: Oooh that's such a good arc! When Matt finds the bracelet, omg. ;___;]
"Yeah, exactly. They're obviously together after years of dancing arounnd each other," Kate continued, delving deeper into this story that seemed to be rolling naturally off her tongue. "He had this huge crush on her back when they were in high school. But you know what it's like when the timing is simply wrong? It's been wrong for them for ages!"
At the question, Kate looked back over her shoulder to take a last look at this Brianna. "Well, she's wearing his football jersey. He obviously was part of the school team and now they go to the games together." In all honesty, she just reminded Kate of Brianna Chickenfry. Best made-up name in the history of made-up names. "She's a brunette, short hair. Amazing boobs that probably were already amazing before the baby. I'm not sure if I'm jealous on her behalf or his."
Taking a turn, they were soon walking into a busier street. Families around them, some people carrying shopping bags. But certainly not the loudness Matt was used to.
"Did someone put something illegal in your ice cream?" Kate joked, surprised by what he was sharing.
[OOC: So many complicated father-figure feels. I'm such a sucker for family dynamics.]
Kate's way of spinning a story based on a few visual clues was different than how Matt normally interpreted what was around him. Not that Kate was trying to play genuine detective now, she was just indulging him in amusing musings. Still, Matt noted the lighthearted whimsy with which she spoke, whereas he clinically read people's bodily signatures to arrive at clear, though compassionate, answers. It was body heat and heartbeats that betrayed love, a nuanced difference from what betrayed rage or illness. It had taken time to differentiate between them all with practiced ease, because humans so often had their emotions and well-being overlapping with other feelings. "I do know what it's like for timing to be a bitch. Glad to hear those crazy kids made it work out in the end. Or I guess really, this is just the start of a new story for them."
He gave a small snort at her question, because really, in a way? The seeds of plenty of illegal activity had been sewn into that first ice cream cone.
"No. The ice cream wasn't laced. Thankfully, since I was twelve. It was just the first time I was pushed to taste something beyond vanilla. Sometimes you don't know what you can do until someone gives you a nudge, you know?" As they neared Chinatown he paused. The ringing in his ears intensified, then a painfully loud crash of sounds filled his senses making him wince. It only lasted a moment before it passed and the world was muffled again. "Ah - ow. Sorry. I think it was a good pain, though. Think I could hear normally for a second." Hopefully it meant that his powers were on the mend?
[ooc: Same. We definitely need to explore more of those on RP. They're not the kinda muse that usually gets made and theyre such JUICY storylines!]
As Brianna and her family were left behind, Kate was already scanning their surroundings to come up with the next amazing and ordinary little story she and Matt would discover around them. But then, at the mention of his own love life, she could't help but be pulled by her own curiosity. "Really? Was it a 'the one who got away' kind of situation?"
She'd liked plenty of girls and guys that simply didn't notice her, plenty that did and a couple who were a casual thing. But, aside from bad breakups, this was the first time Kate experienced true longing for someone she could't have. Yeah, timing was a bitch for her too. Being born at least 20 years later was a real shitty thing.
For a moment, he tried to imagine him thirty years younger, now her reasons completely different ones. A boy who'd lost not just his dad, but most of his whole world. Someone, she guesses his old teacher, letting him explore a whole different view of what surrounded him simply by explaining what was past the apparent simple taste of vanilla. "Was that Stick? Is that how you--"
Someone, walking next to them, dropped a plastic bag with recent purchases. Suddely, Matt quieted down and was wincing. Kate turned to face him, asking over and over if he was okay as she held his cheeks. Finally, his face relaed again.
"Are you sure?" There was suddenly a note of hope in her voice. "We can go back home if this is too much."
[OOC: We do! Kate needs to properly meet Maggie and they need to have Angela on their hands to complete the family circle, LOL.]
"Mmm, yeah, I guess you could call it that. Though it wasn't just poor timing that led to it not working out. I guess I don't have one that was based just on timing." Matt's mind had gone to Karen and how they just could never figure out how to make things work between them. He'd made peace with it, and he truly, genuinely hoped they somehow found Frank alive so they could be together. "How about you? Have you ever had timing be the problem?" It was just natural for Matt to extend the conversation beyond himself. He tried to never just talk about himself but to inquire and engage the person he was with in return. He knew Kate hadn't had the greatest romantic relationships in the past though, so he was quick to add softly, "Unless you don't want to talk about it. I get it. We can go back to discussing strangers." He squeezed her arm in friendly support, because he didn't want to talk about something that might be painful. He genuinely didn't know how bad her dating past was or wasn't.
He smiled a little against her hands when they were pressed on the sides of his face once the pain passed. Reaching up he lightly put his hands over hers as he promised, "No, I'm okay. I swear. It was just a moment. This happens sometimes. Little moments of sensing things before things actually come back to normal. I think it's a good sign but I don't think I'm about to be overwhelmed anytime soon." It wasn't a quick recovery like turning on a light, and once he did have his powers back, he could control them, anyway. It had just surprised him in the moment to have that quick rush. It meant though that his powers were still there, which lifted his heart. His smile widened boyishly, letting him enjoy this moment with Kate even more now that he knew he was likely truly on the mend. "I think we'll still be fine to enjoy our noodles and pizza rolls."
Returning to the previous topic as they started walking again he said, "Yeah, it was Stick. He took me out for ice cream when we met. Told me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Showed me what he could do, what I could do if I trained with him. The funny thing is Kate, that he did broaden my world, but he also taught me something I don't think he intended. Because after him, I've met so many people who did the same thing. Not in the same way, but if you think about it, the people who matter to us? Or even sometimes just strangers we meet in passing? They show us a way of thinking and living we didn't know about before. Like a guy I recently defended, who reminded me that even a short jail sentence was wrong when society was rigged against him. Or like you right now. Showing me how you experience the world."
[ooc: Yesss, gimme the future mom-in-law and all the found family goodness!]
Kate knew very well what Matt was talking to, after all, the guy that sometimes kept her awake late at night - sometimes thinking, sometimes fighting by her side -, was right there, literally within her grasp. With her arm looped around his, a wave of guilt took over her. "Ah, no, no. It's fine! You can ask me about anything, Matt. I swear." The last thing she wanted was to endanger this sense of trust that had built up between them. But was it okay to talk about this with him of all people?
"He... It's more than just bad timing too." She couldn't bring up the age difference. She couldn't be so obvious. "I think he just doesn't see me that way and probably never will. He cares about me and is super sweet about it, but he has someone else anyway."
And she had to accept that even if Heather wasn't in the picture, Matt was a very good friend. Older, who liked women his age. Elegant, responsible. Maybe more feminine? He doesn't strike her as the kind who'd judge a girl over her hobbies, of course not. But the heart wants what it wants and it's not like taste on people can be chosen.
Kate certainly didn't choose this. She didn't choose the way her legs feel weak and her heart swells at the sight of that sweet smile. He leans into her palm as her hands frame that handsome face. Because he is so much more than this. He is the most gentle guy she's met. Thoughtful, alwats putting others before himself. Smart and fun, a little mischievous. Even bruised and scruffy, he is perfect in her eyes.
"Okay. Only if you're sure." Sounding much more sure of herself, she doesn't even notice the way her thumb strokes his face as she doesn't quite let go of him yet. She's happy to hear that he is finally going to feel back like himself. Even if what started as one of the most terrifying nights of her life ended being one of the best ones, leading to the most relaxing and enjoyable day she's had in what feels like ages.
Finally settling by Matt's side again and after giving his arm a rub, she waits for him to hold onto her. Lucky has taken advantage of the stop to leave his scent on a wall, but seems also ready to pick up their walk. "Like, different perspectives, right?" She had to admit, it was pretty great to be able to share her world with him. But not just the tastes, like this morning. She liked sharing what her home was like, the music she listened to. Ever since they became closer, Kate realized she enjoyed sharing her life with Matt and learning more about his.
"Sometimes... Sometimes when I close my eyes I try to notice things too." She suddenly chuckled, feeling self-conscious. "Never like you, of course. But... What it is like to count steps. The sounds the city makes. That sort of stuff."
The first time Matt used his powers, it was to tell that someone was in love. At that time, as a child, he'd wondered if it was a sort of sickness. Stick had assured him it was worse, but as Matt came into adulthood, he knew that was a lie. Love was the most wonderful, most incredible sensation a person could experience. Even with all the heartbreak that was involved, it truly was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Perhaps it made Matt a shit soldier in a larger war, but it made him human. He'd take a bleeding heart over one that didn't beat any day.
Go figure that it was now that his senses were dulled, that he couldn't hear Kate's heartbeat, couldn't thread her feelings through her words, couldn't sense her temperature nor smell her scent, that Matt's own heart betrayed him to himself.
The little fan of warmth he felt from the gentle way her fingers caressed his face, the way his heart quickened and his mouth turned dry. The way that this was the first time in so very long he felt any sense of peace and home, out on the streets of New York utterly blind, with Kate and her dog at his side. The words that Sister Maggie had said when he'd visited her in the hospital.
'She means something to you, doesn't she?'
Kate meant so very much to him.
He licked his lips and cleared his throat, his feelings betraying him in a way that confused him and made him feel guilty. He took her arm again, trying to make sense of the swirling of emotions inside of him. His voice was low and a little husky. "Yeah. Like different perspectives." Did Heather ever count the steps to live like him? To experience the world as he did? Or was that too silly and romantic a task for one more practical?
"It's a good sound, isn't it?" He said it quietly, head tilted at her. "The city, that is. There's music to it, when you listen to it right."
"Guess that's part of your world in different ways, taking in the different perspectives," Kate mused outloud. "I mean, as a lawyer and someone who really tries to bring justice, perspective is important." She doubts he was the kinda guy who ever defended someone he knew was in the wrong. Because, even when it came to Frank Castle, perspectives were a core point about that case.
People are sometimes complicated. The world around them is complicated.
Feelings are complicated.
"I mean, I don't get out as much as you do. But it's fun. Suddenly you hear the neighbors. Or things going on down there." A block ahead from where they were standing, a busker started to play. Kate instantly laughed, making music of her own. "And then the music can also be literal," she pointed out.
An elderly couple ahead of them walked their french bulldog. Lucky pulled on the leash a little too excitedly and on Matt as well, wagging his tail at the opportunity of meeting a new friend. Kate held onto Matt protectively, even though they both stumbled ahead a couple of steps.
"Oh, dears, are you alright? I'm so sorry, Frankie gets so excited."
"Hey, you get out plenty," Matt quietly interjected, always quick to refute when Kate put herself down in his perspective. No, she might not have his powers, but that didn't mean what she did sense was any less worthwhile to him. He was slightly distracted now dealing with the inner wave of confusion, the battling of emotions. What he felt for Kate in that moment had decidedly not been just friendly. He'd wanted nothing more than to turn his head and kiss her fingers. It was wrong. Wasn't it? It certainly wasn't right given he was dating Heather. Plus Kate was so much younger than he was. She was his partner. His friend. Mixing all those together was a recipe for disaster, wasn't it? It was just a momentary impulse, a stress response to the comfort she was providing him.
It was momentary. It was... music? There was music playing now, a backdrop to her laughter.
Memories of dancing at Fisk's gala, with Kate. Saying her name in the hospital afterwards.
Moments.
"There's a busker by 5th and 8th's subway entrance, who I-" Matt's voice ended in a slight yelp as Lucky tugged him forward unexpectedly. He tumbled into Kate, though managed to stay on his feet, as the dog swerved them to go make a new friend. His arm ended up sliding around her, holding onto her waist tightly to keep himself rooted. It was a lot harder to balance without relying on his normal reflexes that went part and parcel with his abilities. Oh, he still had his ninja training, but he was used to also having his sonar radar to tell him what was around him.
"No, no it's," Matt cleared his throat, slowly straightening upwards. He offered a sheepish smile. "It's fine. We're sorry. Lucky likes making new friends, too. May I?" After getting permission, Matt slowly let go of Kate to reach his hand out. He couldn't tell where the dog was precisely, so the bulldog had to come to him to sniff at his fingers. Matt then knew where they were and gave their head a pat. Lucky nosed in then, wanting affection of his own. "Frankie seems like a sweetheart."
Trying to plant her feet firmly on the ground to keep them both falling, Kate found herself gasping as Matt wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her towards him. One of her hands landed on his chest, almost as if she was attempting to stop something, to put a boundary that was long lost. Her gaze slowly crept up, finding that scruffy chin and jawline, those lips that were dangerously close.
Kate bowed her head, finally letting out the breath she had been holding. She smiled at the couple, looking a little flustered by glad about the distraction. "Yeah, he gets pretty excited himself and can be kind of a clutz," she offered, watching Matt reach down to make a new friend himself.
"Oh! He... Frankie kinda looks like a Frank we know too," she let Matt know. The dog was mostly covered in black fur, but that white marking on his chest was something else. Besides, Frankie could have been named Frownie, to be completely honest.
"That's such a funny coincidence," the lady pointed out, "My niece and her husband are just like you two, they also have a golden retriever. Wonderful with kids. Do you have some of your own yet? You made an excellent choice for a family dog."
Matt gave a little laugh as Kate mentioned the dog looked like Frank, painting a picture for Matt even if he didn't know exactly what Frank looked like. He could entirely tell what she'd meant. "This Frankie is a lot more personable than the one we know," he teased back at Kate. "We might wanna start inviting this one instead to dinner parties." As though Frank wouldn't rather shoot himself than attend a progressive wine pairing tasting menu at Matt's. Or rather shoot Matt instead for even suggesting it.
"Oh - um, no..." Matt flushed a little, straightening up and having a moment of looking guilty as the woman mistook Kate and Matt for a couple. It wasn't the first time that happened. Normally though Matt just smiled at it and laughed, but this time? Hearing it suddenly made him feel a little in the wrong. Like there was some part of what was said that was forbidden and tempting rather than ridiculous. Like he was doing something wrong by enjoying her company, moments ago having had the impulse to turn his head and - "No, we're friends. Really good friends. Kate is one of my best friends." Perhaps three times was the charm to sound believable.
Crouching down and getting a faceful of licks from a Lucky that was in desperate need for attention, Kate's hand found Matt as they both petted little Frankie. "Definitely has a better temper. Probably better manners too." Kate looked up at the couple. "Is he potty trained?" She turned to Matt then. "Is our Frankie potty trained?"
Okay, so maybe she was being a little mean towards Castle now, specially since she had really enjoyed his company the last time. But she was well aware of how tense the relationship between him and Matt was and it didn't hurt to mess around a little.
Of course, fate seemed to have the last laugh at their expense as the couple made a huge mistake judging them too. "Oh, no, no, we're just friends, yeah." It felt a little like a stab to say, but it was the truth. That is, until Matt called her one of his 'best friends'.
Kate had called him that once, only to later feel foolish and almost childish over a statement that was not reciprocated at the time. Matt had probably not even realized it. But it had made Kate wonder if people his age even talked about having best friends. It made her wonder if after Foggy, anyone else was worthy of the title. At the time, she wondered if Matt never wanted to find that kind of closeness again.
It made her question if she was only the girl he worked with at night and had a familiar relationship with.
Of course, that had been a long time ago. She was well aware of it now.
"Oh, lad," the older man waved a dismissive hand before holding up his ring finger for Kate to see. "That's what we used to be. Now we've been together for forty years! My advice is, put a ring on it or run for the hills, there's no middle ground."
"Charlie!" His wife called him out with a smack to his wrist.
"Besides, you can't see it, but this one's a beauty. I'll hurry up before soemone else claims her."
"Alright, we're done here. I'm so sorry, dearies. I swear, I can't take him anywhere!" Huffing, the lady pulled on her husband's arm and tugged on the dog's leash. "Come along, Frankie."
Matt gave a small snort at her question regarding Frank being potty-trained. "I wouldn't trust him on the carpets." Too many bloodstains that way. Perhaps it was a touch dark-humored, all things considered, but sometimes humor helped keep hope alive. Matt wanted to think that maybe Frank was still out there ready to ream them both for this type of joking. Funny, how he held out hope for a killer. A killer who had also saved his life. Complicated ties bound this group of people he was working with together, some tenuous and others so strong Matt felt like they were a safety line. A part of him hated Frank Castle, loathed what the man did and stood for. Another part of him trusted Frank and wanted him in this fight against Fisk.
Maybe they all needed to trust one another a little more. Trust, not fear, was what could break Fisk. An outstretched hand rather than an iron fist.
Figurative iron fist. The literal one in Matt's phone contact list was fine.
Trust started with honesty. He felt he was honest with Kate. With Karen, and with everyone else in the fight. Was he honest with himself, though? That wasn't a question with an easy answer. He knew he wasn't being honest with Heather, and while he was terrified that he might not protect her otherwise, he was still being dishonest.
"It's fine," Matt said, softly, as the woman chided her husband. He stood up and waved goodbye, the husband's words settling beneath his skin. He paused then said, a touch loudly so they'd hear as they'd started moving away, "Hey, excuse me! Sorry. I just... I wanted to say, that's really beautiful. What you have." A best friend turned spouse. No matter what happened in Matt's life, it was genuinely sweet to hear about someone else's happiness. "Thank you for sharing that with us. Have a happy other forty." He smiled and took Kate's arm, bumping her a little as he found her elbow.
Even though Kate was slightly mortified over the fact that some old man had just pretty much placed a label on her, called her hot and tried to convince the guy she -- The guy she has very strong feelings for to stop being blind in the only way he could... Well, Kate took it all like a champ, didn't she? Even if that sweet old lady apologized over how clearly mortified she was, Kate still found a little humor in the bizarre situation. She waved at them both, ready to change the subject, when Matt did something truly sweet.
It was such a simple gesture. A confession towards a stranger. Words that to some might seem meaningless, but that can completely change one's day. She knew that this couple had certainly changed hers, but this? It was different. Like pointing out that someone is wearing a cool shirt. Saying that someone did a great job with their eyeliner. Knowing you will never see them again, but that sharing a little love is so incredibly simple.
The world was in desperate need of more love. This? This was also part of rebelling. Of resisting and rebuilding. This was what Fisk could not offer, but that they did.
"You are so sweet together!" Kate quickly joined in and complimented them as the couple turned, both looking surprised and overjoyed as they waved back. "Have a fantastic day and an even more beautiful life!"
Beaming with more confidence than before and already feeling much better, Kate giggled softly as Matt pulled her towards him. Their arms looped around one another's as they picked up where they had left their little adventure.
"You've never called me one of your best friends before."
Matt didn't hold it against the man for saying he couldn't see how beautiful Kate was. Even Foggy used to tease Matt about how he somehow knew which women were hot by their standards. Matt knew he didn't see and experience the world like others did. He had seen Kate, though. In his way. He remembered running fingers over her face. He remembered committing those angles and shapes to memory, to carry and assign to her alongside her heartbeat, step, and scent.
He knew physically, she was beautiful. He also knew that her courage, strength, and compassion were far more attractive than anyone knew and many underestimated.
Not that he should find it attractive.
He focused instead on their goodbye with the couple. Frankie's parents, since they hadn't exchanged names. They didn't need to. Sometimes those sorts of connections went beyond the common identifiers. Like a shared understanding, an exchange of appreciation. It was a sweet moment that he could tell lifted Kate's spirits, too.
Lucky was now back to being better behaved as they walked arm in arm.
"Hm. No. I guess I didn't." He paused then admitted, "I guess I don't talk about it all that often in general." Matt was incredibly affectionate, but using words of commitment, labels that mattered, those came slower to him. "Is it all right? That I called you that." Kate had long since taken a role that mattered deeply to Matt, a role that was similar to Foggy and Karen. Nobody could ever replace Foggy, but Matt's heart was big enough to have more then one best friend. He considered Karen one too at one time.
"Of course it's fine," Kate was quick to point out. Even if he wasn't able to listen to her heartbeat to double-check how sincere she was, the excited nuance in her voice spoke for itself.
"A long time ago I called you one of my bestfriends," she told him, unsure if he would remember it. "I didn't know if it was dumb of me or if I was overstepping. People..." She licked her lips, suddenly feeling her mouth a little dry. She was well aware that things had changed between them since then.
Deep down, something calm, that reassurance that regardless of what was going on things in the future would be better, it spoke with a new voice now. It told her that something had changed between them in this last few hours. She still remembered, after all, what it was like to be held to him as they feel asleep in each other's arms.
Even if they were only meant to be friends, she knew she could trust Matt blindly. That regardless of labels, they were partners. They had each other's backs, cared for each other. Maybe friendships can also last forty years. That doesn't make them any less important than other types of feelings.
"I didn't know if I had crossed some line. Because sometimes I feel very strongly about people like, right off the bat." Was that a sign of her being childish? Trusting too much? Is that what he thought back then? "But you're very special to me. You know, a real partner. I know I can count on you at all times and I hope you know you can count on me for anything. You..." She should probably shut up. Because just as she trusted too much, sometimes she also spoke too much. "Like, life has been so hard these last few months. But since we started hanging more, almost every day, things have also felt great too, Matt. Like, I almost feel guilty about it."
Matt listened. Not with any special hearing, just to the words that Kate said. He was quiet and attentive, more easily blocking out the city and focusing on her now that his powers were stripped away. His world might have shrunk in some ways, but it had expanded to include her in that little bubble. They were walking side by side, having a conversation that applied only to them, with the greatest city in the world - in Matt's opinion - as their backdrop. Writing their own stories as they went, with words weaving those callings together. Matt didn't believe in destiny, it was against his religion that focused on humanity's free will. He did believe though that certain people made the world better, and it was up to everyone to act on their own agency and not let those people go when found.
Kat meant so much to him.
'She matters to you, doesn't she?'
"Hey." He spoke softly. Matt could yell, he'd yelled plenty in his life. At enemies, at adversaries. Occasionally at loved ones when heated. In general though he tried to keep a calm and steady cadence. The world could get so loud, that sometimes, it was the quiet that cut through it. He didn't want to be harsh and pointed, not in his personal life. In court and as Daredevil was another matter. This was also part of him, though. This quiet. One shouldn't be all angles that cut.
Even Stick had kept a child's bracelet.
Kate mattered to him, and she'd taken the leap in saying it first. He paused and moved to stand in front of her. They were blocking the street and he didn't care. People walked around the stopped pair, muttering a little as they went. He stood firm in front of her, hands resting on her arms. "You feeling strongly is a gift. It might feel like a curse sometimes, but don't ever let the world take that from you. I'm not always... I don't always do so well at it." Like how he hid from people he loved after Elektra died. After Foggy died. When life dealt him emotional blows, Matt retreated to stop from being overwhelmed. "Life is hard, especially right now. You though, how you are? That's gonna be what matters. That's what'll be left standing. Good people who can trust, who should be trusted. I promise you that I won't leave you alone. I wasn't... I hadn't used those words since Foggy. And Karen leaving." The words best friend. "So. don't feel guilty. Just took me awhile to catch up to using them."
It shocked her, the way Matt made her both come to a stop, suddenly stepping before her as if he could stop the whole world that surrounded them to quieten it down. To capture her full attention.
As if he didn't already own that.
Kate smiled, a little nervous and self-conscious, unsure of what he was doing, where he was going with this. It felt like one of those really intimate moments, out for everyone to see. But he pushed through those feelings, until the world was indeed silent and his words truly reached her.
Bowing her head, Kate simply nodded. But then, aware that he would't be able to sense it like he normally did, she chuckled to herself.
Grabbing his hands, her placed them on her face and repeated the gesture.
"Sorry, I was nodding."
Best friends. It did mean the world to her.
"Thank you, Matt."
Because this wasn't just about what they meant to each other. This was Matt reassuring her that it was okay to feel the way you did sometimes. As long as you're not hurting anyone, right? It might be a curse though. Because right now, as she squeezes the hands holding her cheeks, she wants nothing but to stand on her tip-toes and kiss him. And it hurts. It hurt her every day sometimes, like carrying a splinter under her skin. A pain you grow used to after dealing with it every day. But then, every once in a while, you move differently, you touch something you cherisgh, you dance with someone and they hold you in a way that pushes the splinter even deeper. Straight to the heart.
Kissing him would hurt people who don't deserve it. Matt included.
He smiled a little when she apologized as she placed his hands on her face to feel her nodding. "It's all right. Everyone does that sometimes." Nodding in agreement or shaking their heads, or holding up papers and pictures, forgetting for a moment that he couldn't see them doing it. It didn't bother Matt when those minor faux pas moments happened, they weren't malicious. Nonverbal cues were a common part of most communication across the world, sometimes people just had to get a little more creative to make them work when someone was visually impaired.
He felt her face in his hands, felt the soft skin of her features against the rougher edges of his fingers. He committed the feeling the memory, letting his fingertips brush over her face briefly as a reminder of what she looked like before he let her go. "Foggy only let me do that once to him," Matt recalled quietly. "Said it was a little weird." Matt had respected that boundary, and with it, his memory of what Foggy's face looked like had long ago blurred from his mind. "I guess it can be a little weird. I'm sorry if it is." He wouldn't do it to Kate if she thought it was, but she hadn't seemed to mind the last time.
Lucky pulled at the leash, his nose angling towards one of the many vendors and shops that promised food. Matt gave a little smile again, nodding in the direction of the dog. "I think he's getting a little antsy for those noodles."
"I swear I try to remember," Kate protested softly, hating that even though she was so used to his presence and his needs, even now she could still forget about this sometimes. However, of course Matt didn't seem bothered.
Under her touch, Kate felt his hands shift. She let go, sure he was pulling away. But Kate was wrong. Matt's hands moved slowly, his fingertips tracing her cheekbones, her jaw, her nose, evading her parted lips. It was done before Kate realized it. She wanted to ask him to keep going.
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, good point." The people around them seemed to be growing impatient over the way they were also blocking the road. Holding onto Matt's arm again, she walked quietly by his side for a moment.
"I don't think that was weird." She suddenly offered, remembering what Matt said before. "Touching someone's face," she clarified. "Like, I get why it may have been for Foggy." Men aren't probably crazy about other men touching them maybe? It's like crying in front of other people. Not everyone is comfortable with that. "But I think it's cool. Like, I can't imagine myself actually remembering what makes faces feel different." But how do you try to learn that? Matt had good reasons to try, she didn't. "Like, I'd like to try it, but it would be extra weird if I asked someone."
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streetlevel) wrote2024-12-23 08:39 pm
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It would be great. It would be another goal aside from taking Fisk down. One she can work on while she's not in her suit.
As Matt finally called out to let her know where he was, Kate rushed down to meet the pair. Lucky looked pretty pleased with himself as he played a little tug-o-war with Matt over the leash, while steering him in direction of the door and elevator.
It was a mildly surreal moment, watching someone wearing clothes she remembered vaguely, but that she was well aware of who they belonged to. "They actually fit you pretty good," Kate pointed out in awe. The jeans and a dark red t-shirt that seemed made for Matt.
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"Hey, buddy, let's put this one properly..." Matt had to say this a few times as Lucky tugged him along in a delighted game to the elevator. It was only once they were on it that Matt was able to take the leash out of Lucky's mouth and clip it to his collar. He ruffled the dog's head and smiled though at this silliness.
Once at the door Matt of course paused to talk to Walter, asking when the man's next day off was because he clearly worked too hard. Walter in turn clucked over the bruises on Matt's face. Matt asked if he liked Vietnamese coffee since they were going to Chinatown and promised to bring Walter back a nice cold cup of it. He turned to Kate then and after some consideration folded up his walking stick. He pocketed it and took Kate's elbow, holding Lucky's leash in the other hand. As sweet as the dog was he wasn't actually a guide dog, so he'd have to rely on Kate to really get around. "It's strange," he admitted. "Not hearing... everything."
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He probably would have loved Daredevil for the name alone.
"Look at you. Already a dog dad pro," Kate teased him as she watched the pair interact on the elevator. Matt truly doted on Lucky so much and the love was mutual. Hell, it was Matt's natural talent, really. He blended so well in Kate's life, almost as if it was a regular morning for them going out for a walk.
Kate could tell that Walter was surprised to see them stepping out together first thing in the morning. But the old man saw plenty of thigs during the decades and always respected people's secrecy.
Not that this was a secret...
After promising to bring him some coffe, Kate quickly offered her arm for Matt to grab onto. "Strange in a good way?" She instantly regretted the question. "I mean... All things considered. Like a silver lining."
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He squeezed her arm a little as he held it. "Which isn't to say it's all bad. Like I said, I'm grateful to you, and I won't forget what we shared. I just wouldn't want to live like this forever." He did want his powers to come back, to get to know the world as he'd come to know it for three decades now. There was a pause before he added in a lighter tone, "So why don't you be my eyes for me for right now? Tell me what you see. What you're sensing."
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"No, I totally get it," Kate was quick to clarify, squeezing Matt's arm as she gently guided him to steer a little towards her side, warning him about a guy on bycicle coming their way. "You experienced a super rich world for decades and suddenly it all going quiet must be weird." Not to mention that it made him rely on others too. Even if he fakes being more vulnerable than others most of the time, Matt would still losing his independance.
"Hmmm? Okay..." Kate didn't even realize how her free hand came to his arm as she leaned towards Matt. "Well, the sky is bright blue this morning and there's only a few fluffy clowds." Does he even remember what that looks like? "There's someone moving to the building next door. They're taking things out of this van and the woman has a baby. So newlyweds? I'm gonna call her Brianna."
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He listened to Kate's voice, letting her cadence and tone wash over him. Letting her words guide him on what was going on around them. Some things he could picture easier than others, and some things he pictured in his way, mental images of shapes and forms rather than people with specific defining features. He smiled a little as Kate woven in her own story about the couple moving into the building next door, not at all surprised she'd craft a narrative based on her deductions. "That sounds plausible. Moving into a new place with a baby, sounds like they could use some coffee, too. Though now I have to know, what does a Brianna look like?" He figured she had a reason for going for that name.
He paused when she told him to, and moved to the side as the bicycle was ridden past them. The joys of living in a crowded state with a lot of foot and bike traffic. He could hear conversation, though not really the specifics. He could smell the streets, the vendors, but not individual scents. It was like having a blanket put over him, muffling him as he moved. He did have to rely on Kate and Lucky, a humbling experience. Though he wouldn't whine about it. He was fortunate to have someone to guide him. To be alive. To trust that his powers would return soon.
"I remember the first time I really used my senses," he mused to her in a quiet voice, keeping it vague. "That I realized the world could be larger than I imagined. Believe it or not, ice cream was involved."
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"Yeah, exactly. They're obviously together after years of dancing arounnd each other," Kate continued, delving deeper into this story that seemed to be rolling naturally off her tongue. "He had this huge crush on her back when they were in high school. But you know what it's like when the timing is simply wrong? It's been wrong for them for ages!"
At the question, Kate looked back over her shoulder to take a last look at this Brianna. "Well, she's wearing his football jersey. He obviously was part of the school team and now they go to the games together." In all honesty, she just reminded Kate of Brianna Chickenfry. Best made-up name in the history of made-up names. "She's a brunette, short hair. Amazing boobs that probably were already amazing before the baby. I'm not sure if I'm jealous on her behalf or his."
Taking a turn, they were soon walking into a busier street. Families around them, some people carrying shopping bags. But certainly not the loudness Matt was used to.
"Did someone put something illegal in your ice cream?" Kate joked, surprised by what he was sharing.
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Kate's way of spinning a story based on a few visual clues was different than how Matt normally interpreted what was around him. Not that Kate was trying to play genuine detective now, she was just indulging him in amusing musings. Still, Matt noted the lighthearted whimsy with which she spoke, whereas he clinically read people's bodily signatures to arrive at clear, though compassionate, answers. It was body heat and heartbeats that betrayed love, a nuanced difference from what betrayed rage or illness. It had taken time to differentiate between them all with practiced ease, because humans so often had their emotions and well-being overlapping with other feelings. "I do know what it's like for timing to be a bitch. Glad to hear those crazy kids made it work out in the end. Or I guess really, this is just the start of a new story for them."
He gave a small snort at her question, because really, in a way? The seeds of plenty of illegal activity had been sewn into that first ice cream cone.
"No. The ice cream wasn't laced. Thankfully, since I was twelve. It was just the first time I was pushed to taste something beyond vanilla. Sometimes you don't know what you can do until someone gives you a nudge, you know?" As they neared Chinatown he paused. The ringing in his ears intensified, then a painfully loud crash of sounds filled his senses making him wince. It only lasted a moment before it passed and the world was muffled again. "Ah - ow. Sorry. I think it was a good pain, though. Think I could hear normally for a second." Hopefully it meant that his powers were on the mend?
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As Brianna and her family were left behind, Kate was already scanning their surroundings to come up with the next amazing and ordinary little story she and Matt would discover around them. But then, at the mention of his own love life, she could't help but be pulled by her own curiosity. "Really? Was it a 'the one who got away' kind of situation?"
She'd liked plenty of girls and guys that simply didn't notice her, plenty that did and a couple who were a casual thing. But, aside from bad breakups, this was the first time Kate experienced true longing for someone she could't have. Yeah, timing was a bitch for her too. Being born at least 20 years later was a real shitty thing.
For a moment, he tried to imagine him thirty years younger, now her reasons completely different ones. A boy who'd lost not just his dad, but most of his whole world. Someone, she guesses his old teacher, letting him explore a whole different view of what surrounded him simply by explaining what was past the apparent simple taste of vanilla. "Was that Stick? Is that how you--"
Someone, walking next to them, dropped a plastic bag with recent purchases. Suddely, Matt quieted down and was wincing. Kate turned to face him, asking over and over if he was okay as she held his cheeks. Finally, his face relaed again.
"Are you sure?" There was suddenly a note of hope in her voice. "We can go back home if this is too much."
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"Mmm, yeah, I guess you could call it that. Though it wasn't just poor timing that led to it not working out. I guess I don't have one that was based just on timing." Matt's mind had gone to Karen and how they just could never figure out how to make things work between them. He'd made peace with it, and he truly, genuinely hoped they somehow found Frank alive so they could be together. "How about you? Have you ever had timing be the problem?" It was just natural for Matt to extend the conversation beyond himself. He tried to never just talk about himself but to inquire and engage the person he was with in return. He knew Kate hadn't had the greatest romantic relationships in the past though, so he was quick to add softly, "Unless you don't want to talk about it. I get it. We can go back to discussing strangers." He squeezed her arm in friendly support, because he didn't want to talk about something that might be painful. He genuinely didn't know how bad her dating past was or wasn't.
He smiled a little against her hands when they were pressed on the sides of his face once the pain passed. Reaching up he lightly put his hands over hers as he promised, "No, I'm okay. I swear. It was just a moment. This happens sometimes. Little moments of sensing things before things actually come back to normal. I think it's a good sign but I don't think I'm about to be overwhelmed anytime soon." It wasn't a quick recovery like turning on a light, and once he did have his powers back, he could control them, anyway. It had just surprised him in the moment to have that quick rush. It meant though that his powers were still there, which lifted his heart. His smile widened boyishly, letting him enjoy this moment with Kate even more now that he knew he was likely truly on the mend. "I think we'll still be fine to enjoy our noodles and pizza rolls."
Returning to the previous topic as they started walking again he said, "Yeah, it was Stick. He took me out for ice cream when we met. Told me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Showed me what he could do, what I could do if I trained with him. The funny thing is Kate, that he did broaden my world, but he also taught me something I don't think he intended. Because after him, I've met so many people who did the same thing. Not in the same way, but if you think about it, the people who matter to us? Or even sometimes just strangers we meet in passing? They show us a way of thinking and living we didn't know about before. Like a guy I recently defended, who reminded me that even a short jail sentence was wrong when society was rigged against him. Or like you right now. Showing me how you experience the world."
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Kate knew very well what Matt was talking to, after all, the guy that sometimes kept her awake late at night - sometimes thinking, sometimes fighting by her side -, was right there, literally within her grasp. With her arm looped around his, a wave of guilt took over her. "Ah, no, no. It's fine! You can ask me about anything, Matt. I swear." The last thing she wanted was to endanger this sense of trust that had built up between them. But was it okay to talk about this with him of all people?
"He... It's more than just bad timing too." She couldn't bring up the age difference. She couldn't be so obvious. "I think he just doesn't see me that way and probably never will. He cares about me and is super sweet about it, but he has someone else anyway."
And she had to accept that even if Heather wasn't in the picture, Matt was a very good friend. Older, who liked women his age. Elegant, responsible. Maybe more feminine? He doesn't strike her as the kind who'd judge a girl over her hobbies, of course not. But the heart wants what it wants and it's not like taste on people can be chosen.
Kate certainly didn't choose this. She didn't choose the way her legs feel weak and her heart swells at the sight of that sweet smile. He leans into her palm as her hands frame that handsome face. Because he is so much more than this. He is the most gentle guy she's met. Thoughtful, alwats putting others before himself. Smart and fun, a little mischievous. Even bruised and scruffy, he is perfect in her eyes.
"Okay. Only if you're sure." Sounding much more sure of herself, she doesn't even notice the way her thumb strokes his face as she doesn't quite let go of him yet. She's happy to hear that he is finally going to feel back like himself. Even if what started as one of the most terrifying nights of her life ended being one of the best ones, leading to the most relaxing and enjoyable day she's had in what feels like ages.
Finally settling by Matt's side again and after giving his arm a rub, she waits for him to hold onto her. Lucky has taken advantage of the stop to leave his scent on a wall, but seems also ready to pick up their walk. "Like, different perspectives, right?" She had to admit, it was pretty great to be able to share her world with him. But not just the tastes, like this morning. She liked sharing what her home was like, the music she listened to. Ever since they became closer, Kate realized she enjoyed sharing her life with Matt and learning more about his.
"Sometimes... Sometimes when I close my eyes I try to notice things too." She suddenly chuckled, feeling self-conscious. "Never like you, of course. But... What it is like to count steps. The sounds the city makes. That sort of stuff."
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Go figure that it was now that his senses were dulled, that he couldn't hear Kate's heartbeat, couldn't thread her feelings through her words, couldn't sense her temperature nor smell her scent, that Matt's own heart betrayed him to himself.
The little fan of warmth he felt from the gentle way her fingers caressed his face, the way his heart quickened and his mouth turned dry. The way that this was the first time in so very long he felt any sense of peace and home, out on the streets of New York utterly blind, with Kate and her dog at his side. The words that Sister Maggie had said when he'd visited her in the hospital.
'She means something to you, doesn't she?'
Kate meant so very much to him.
He licked his lips and cleared his throat, his feelings betraying him in a way that confused him and made him feel guilty. He took her arm again, trying to make sense of the swirling of emotions inside of him. His voice was low and a little husky. "Yeah. Like different perspectives." Did Heather ever count the steps to live like him? To experience the world as he did? Or was that too silly and romantic a task for one more practical?
"It's a good sound, isn't it?" He said it quietly, head tilted at her. "The city, that is. There's music to it, when you listen to it right."
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People are sometimes complicated. The world around them is complicated.
Feelings are complicated.
"I mean, I don't get out as much as you do. But it's fun. Suddenly you hear the neighbors. Or things going on down there." A block ahead from where they were standing, a busker started to play. Kate instantly laughed, making music of her own. "And then the music can also be literal," she pointed out.
An elderly couple ahead of them walked their french bulldog. Lucky pulled on the leash a little too excitedly and on Matt as well, wagging his tail at the opportunity of meeting a new friend. Kate held onto Matt protectively, even though they both stumbled ahead a couple of steps.
"Oh, dears, are you alright? I'm so sorry, Frankie gets so excited."
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It was momentary. It was... music? There was music playing now, a backdrop to her laughter.
Memories of dancing at Fisk's gala, with Kate. Saying her name in the hospital afterwards.
Moments.
"There's a busker by 5th and 8th's subway entrance, who I-" Matt's voice ended in a slight yelp as Lucky tugged him forward unexpectedly. He tumbled into Kate, though managed to stay on his feet, as the dog swerved them to go make a new friend. His arm ended up sliding around her, holding onto her waist tightly to keep himself rooted. It was a lot harder to balance without relying on his normal reflexes that went part and parcel with his abilities. Oh, he still had his ninja training, but he was used to also having his sonar radar to tell him what was around him.
"No, no it's," Matt cleared his throat, slowly straightening upwards. He offered a sheepish smile. "It's fine. We're sorry. Lucky likes making new friends, too. May I?" After getting permission, Matt slowly let go of Kate to reach his hand out. He couldn't tell where the dog was precisely, so the bulldog had to come to him to sniff at his fingers. Matt then knew where they were and gave their head a pat. Lucky nosed in then, wanting affection of his own. "Frankie seems like a sweetheart."
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Kate bowed her head, finally letting out the breath she had been holding. She smiled at the couple, looking a little flustered by glad about the distraction. "Yeah, he gets pretty excited himself and can be kind of a clutz," she offered, watching Matt reach down to make a new friend himself.
"Oh! He... Frankie kinda looks like a Frank we know too," she let Matt know. The dog was mostly covered in black fur, but that white marking on his chest was something else. Besides, Frankie could have been named Frownie, to be completely honest.
"That's such a funny coincidence," the lady pointed out, "My niece and her husband are just like you two, they also have a golden retriever. Wonderful with kids. Do you have some of your own yet? You made an excellent choice for a family dog."
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"Oh - um, no..." Matt flushed a little, straightening up and having a moment of looking guilty as the woman mistook Kate and Matt for a couple. It wasn't the first time that happened. Normally though Matt just smiled at it and laughed, but this time? Hearing it suddenly made him feel a little in the wrong. Like there was some part of what was said that was forbidden and tempting rather than ridiculous. Like he was doing something wrong by enjoying her company, moments ago having had the impulse to turn his head and - "No, we're friends. Really good friends. Kate is one of my best friends." Perhaps three times was the charm to sound believable.
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Okay, so maybe she was being a little mean towards Castle now, specially since she had really enjoyed his company the last time. But she was well aware of how tense the relationship between him and Matt was and it didn't hurt to mess around a little.
Of course, fate seemed to have the last laugh at their expense as the couple made a huge mistake judging them too. "Oh, no, no, we're just friends, yeah." It felt a little like a stab to say, but it was the truth. That is, until Matt called her one of his 'best friends'.
Kate had called him that once, only to later feel foolish and almost childish over a statement that was not reciprocated at the time. Matt had probably not even realized it. But it had made Kate wonder if people his age even talked about having best friends. It made her wonder if after Foggy, anyone else was worthy of the title. At the time, she wondered if Matt never wanted to find that kind of closeness again.
It made her question if she was only the girl he worked with at night and had a familiar relationship with.
Of course, that had been a long time ago. She was well aware of it now.
"Oh, lad," the older man waved a dismissive hand before holding up his ring finger for Kate to see. "That's what we used to be. Now we've been together for forty years! My advice is, put a ring on it or run for the hills, there's no middle ground."
"Charlie!" His wife called him out with a smack to his wrist.
"Besides, you can't see it, but this one's a beauty. I'll hurry up before soemone else claims her."
"Alright, we're done here. I'm so sorry, dearies. I swear, I can't take him anywhere!" Huffing, the lady pulled on her husband's arm and tugged on the dog's leash. "Come along, Frankie."
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Maybe they all needed to trust one another a little more. Trust, not fear, was what could break Fisk. An outstretched hand rather than an iron fist.
Figurative iron fist. The literal one in Matt's phone contact list was fine.
Trust started with honesty. He felt he was honest with Kate. With Karen, and with everyone else in the fight. Was he honest with himself, though? That wasn't a question with an easy answer. He knew he wasn't being honest with Heather, and while he was terrified that he might not protect her otherwise, he was still being dishonest.
"It's fine," Matt said, softly, as the woman chided her husband. He stood up and waved goodbye, the husband's words settling beneath his skin. He paused then said, a touch loudly so they'd hear as they'd started moving away, "Hey, excuse me! Sorry. I just... I wanted to say, that's really beautiful. What you have." A best friend turned spouse. No matter what happened in Matt's life, it was genuinely sweet to hear about someone else's happiness. "Thank you for sharing that with us. Have a happy other forty." He smiled and took Kate's arm, bumping her a little as he found her elbow.
He held onto someone he trusted.
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It was such a simple gesture. A confession towards a stranger. Words that to some might seem meaningless, but that can completely change one's day. She knew that this couple had certainly changed hers, but this? It was different. Like pointing out that someone is wearing a cool shirt. Saying that someone did a great job with their eyeliner. Knowing you will never see them again, but that sharing a little love is so incredibly simple.
The world was in desperate need of more love. This? This was also part of rebelling. Of resisting and rebuilding. This was what Fisk could not offer, but that they did.
"You are so sweet together!" Kate quickly joined in and complimented them as the couple turned, both looking surprised and overjoyed as they waved back. "Have a fantastic day and an even more beautiful life!"
Beaming with more confidence than before and already feeling much better, Kate giggled softly as Matt pulled her towards him. Their arms looped around one another's as they picked up where they had left their little adventure.
"You've never called me one of your best friends before."
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He knew physically, she was beautiful. He also knew that her courage, strength, and compassion were far more attractive than anyone knew and many underestimated.
Not that he should find it attractive.
He focused instead on their goodbye with the couple. Frankie's parents, since they hadn't exchanged names. They didn't need to. Sometimes those sorts of connections went beyond the common identifiers. Like a shared understanding, an exchange of appreciation. It was a sweet moment that he could tell lifted Kate's spirits, too.
Lucky was now back to being better behaved as they walked arm in arm.
"Hm. No. I guess I didn't." He paused then admitted, "I guess I don't talk about it all that often in general." Matt was incredibly affectionate, but using words of commitment, labels that mattered, those came slower to him. "Is it all right? That I called you that." Kate had long since taken a role that mattered deeply to Matt, a role that was similar to Foggy and Karen. Nobody could ever replace Foggy, but Matt's heart was big enough to have more then one best friend. He considered Karen one too at one time.
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"A long time ago I called you one of my bestfriends," she told him, unsure if he would remember it. "I didn't know if it was dumb of me or if I was overstepping. People..." She licked her lips, suddenly feeling her mouth a little dry. She was well aware that things had changed between them since then.
Deep down, something calm, that reassurance that regardless of what was going on things in the future would be better, it spoke with a new voice now. It told her that something had changed between them in this last few hours. She still remembered, after all, what it was like to be held to him as they feel asleep in each other's arms.
Even if they were only meant to be friends, she knew she could trust Matt blindly. That regardless of labels, they were partners. They had each other's backs, cared for each other. Maybe friendships can also last forty years. That doesn't make them any less important than other types of feelings.
"I didn't know if I had crossed some line. Because sometimes I feel very strongly about people like, right off the bat." Was that a sign of her being childish? Trusting too much? Is that what he thought back then? "But you're very special to me. You know, a real partner. I know I can count on you at all times and I hope you know you can count on me for anything. You..." She should probably shut up. Because just as she trusted too much, sometimes she also spoke too much. "Like, life has been so hard these last few months. But since we started hanging more, almost every day, things have also felt great too, Matt. Like, I almost feel guilty about it."
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Kat meant so much to him.
'She matters to you, doesn't she?'
"Hey." He spoke softly. Matt could yell, he'd yelled plenty in his life. At enemies, at adversaries. Occasionally at loved ones when heated. In general though he tried to keep a calm and steady cadence. The world could get so loud, that sometimes, it was the quiet that cut through it. He didn't want to be harsh and pointed, not in his personal life. In court and as Daredevil was another matter. This was also part of him, though. This quiet. One shouldn't be all angles that cut.
Even Stick had kept a child's bracelet.
Kate mattered to him, and she'd taken the leap in saying it first. He paused and moved to stand in front of her. They were blocking the street and he didn't care. People walked around the stopped pair, muttering a little as they went. He stood firm in front of her, hands resting on her arms. "You feeling strongly is a gift. It might feel like a curse sometimes, but don't ever let the world take that from you. I'm not always... I don't always do so well at it." Like how he hid from people he loved after Elektra died. After Foggy died. When life dealt him emotional blows, Matt retreated to stop from being overwhelmed. "Life is hard, especially right now. You though, how you are? That's gonna be what matters. That's what'll be left standing. Good people who can trust, who should be trusted. I promise you that I won't leave you alone. I wasn't... I hadn't used those words since Foggy. And Karen leaving." The words best friend. "So. don't feel guilty. Just took me awhile to catch up to using them."
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It shocked her, the way Matt made her both come to a stop, suddenly stepping before her as if he could stop the whole world that surrounded them to quieten it down. To capture her full attention.
As if he didn't already own that.
Kate smiled, a little nervous and self-conscious, unsure of what he was doing, where he was going with this. It felt like one of those really intimate moments, out for everyone to see. But he pushed through those feelings, until the world was indeed silent and his words truly reached her.
Bowing her head, Kate simply nodded. But then, aware that he would't be able to sense it like he normally did, she chuckled to herself.
Grabbing his hands, her placed them on her face and repeated the gesture.
"Sorry, I was nodding."
Best friends. It did mean the world to her.
"Thank you, Matt."
Because this wasn't just about what they meant to each other. This was Matt reassuring her that it was okay to feel the way you did sometimes. As long as you're not hurting anyone, right? It might be a curse though. Because right now, as she squeezes the hands holding her cheeks, she wants nothing but to stand on her tip-toes and kiss him. And it hurts. It hurt her every day sometimes, like carrying a splinter under her skin. A pain you grow used to after dealing with it every day. But then, every once in a while, you move differently, you touch something you cherisgh, you dance with someone and they hold you in a way that pushes the splinter even deeper. Straight to the heart.
Kissing him would hurt people who don't deserve it. Matt included.
Kate didn't want to lose her best friend.
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He felt her face in his hands, felt the soft skin of her features against the rougher edges of his fingers. He committed the feeling the memory, letting his fingertips brush over her face briefly as a reminder of what she looked like before he let her go. "Foggy only let me do that once to him," Matt recalled quietly. "Said it was a little weird." Matt had respected that boundary, and with it, his memory of what Foggy's face looked like had long ago blurred from his mind. "I guess it can be a little weird. I'm sorry if it is." He wouldn't do it to Kate if she thought it was, but she hadn't seemed to mind the last time.
Lucky pulled at the leash, his nose angling towards one of the many vendors and shops that promised food. Matt gave a little smile again, nodding in the direction of the dog. "I think he's getting a little antsy for those noodles."
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Under her touch, Kate felt his hands shift. She let go, sure he was pulling away. But Kate was wrong. Matt's hands moved slowly, his fingertips tracing her cheekbones, her jaw, her nose, evading her parted lips. It was done before Kate realized it. She wanted to ask him to keep going.
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, good point." The people around them seemed to be growing impatient over the way they were also blocking the road. Holding onto Matt's arm again, she walked quietly by his side for a moment.
"I don't think that was weird." She suddenly offered, remembering what Matt said before. "Touching someone's face," she clarified. "Like, I get why it may have been for Foggy." Men aren't probably crazy about other men touching them maybe? It's like crying in front of other people. Not everyone is comfortable with that. "But I think it's cool. Like, I can't imagine myself actually remembering what makes faces feel different." But how do you try to learn that? Matt had good reasons to try, she didn't. "Like, I'd like to try it, but it would be extra weird if I asked someone."
ETA Snazzy New Icon
Aaaaaw, I love this one so much! The whole new batch is so pretty! <333
It really is! New icons make me happy.
💜💜💜
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