Kate Bishop was rarely quiet, so when her response was just that, it made Matt notice. Something he'd said had sparked it, but he couldn't discern exactly what it was. He knew she'd gone to college and hadn't finished, but how she felt about it exactly wasn't something they'd talked about. Perhaps it was a topic to broach in the future, now that his curiosity had arisen. Or maybe she was just musing on the same injustice that he was, only her response to it was quiet introspection rather than his rather loud speeches.
Either way he reached out to lightly find her arm and gave it a squeeze, glad to then hear her laugh as the topic went to a lighter one. He didn't forget though, tucking it away for later.
"Why wouldn't I keep them?" he asked in a faux-innocent voice, straightening his new glasses as they started to talk back. "My partner whom I trust in all things told me that I should wear them. She'd never steer me wrong, would she? I must look great."
With Matt reaching for her arm, Kate wasn't shy of leaning against him, even resting her head on his shoulder briefly as they walked together. She appreciated the gesture, felt almost pampered by how the day had turned out to be.
Because, as terrifying as the night was, as much as she feared what would happen with his powers, Matt had made her day an incredible one. Only now did Kate realize she had not had this kind of fun in a long time.
"You do look great!" Kate was quick to agree. "Sure, I mean... Being classy is probably in the eye of the beholder." He probably shouldn't consider taking the joke and his guilt-tripping to the extreme of showing up at work with them, but then Kate figured that wasn't really a concern. "But you make everything look great, so..." Her shoulder bounced in a shrug.
He gave her a slightly bemused smile as she said that he made everything look great. There was nothing to it, surely. Just a nice remark, a compliment. He wouldn't overthink it. "For once I'm not gonna take that as a challenge and wear ridiculous things to see if that holds true," he teased back.
As they walked he was clearly getting a little weary, but he did make them stop so that he could get that Vietnamese iced coffee for Walter. He also got some for himself and for Kate if she wanted. The caffeine and sugar helped perk him up a little on the trek back, and Walter seemed pleased by it which made Matt happy. They chatted for a few minutes with him before heading up the stairs.
"Woah, buddy." Lucky was clearly not tired yet as he was ready to bound down the hall. "I know air conditioning is exciting right now, we'll get there soon, I promise."
"Well, you can always shave like you said and maybe dye your hair? You'd make a nice redhead," she teased him back. Had she said too much with her previous compliment? Kate was still hung up second-guessing herself. But then, she'd been in the same room as Kirsten complimented Matt several times. Or even teased him about his good looks and charms.
It meant nothing.
As they made their way back home - back to her home -, Kate thanked Matt again for spoiling her by getting her a drink, aside from what was promised for Walter. She could tell that the busy night they had was finally catching up with Matt though and, even though she tried to distract him by making new stories abouy the people around them, they soon made their way back to the penthouse.
"Hey, would you like to lie down for a while? We didn't sleep much."
And yet, it was hard to forget how he had insisted on sharing that bean bag. How cold she had been, how Matt had embraced her and rubbed her body, keeping her warm. Kate passed out and woke up feeling so refreshed, so comfortable. It had felt like the best sleep she'd had in months.
"You're welcome to use the bedroom or we can watch something and pass out or whatever. We have a few couches, there's this really comfortable L-shaped one in the TV room."
"Or I might look like a killer clown based on what I've heard they look like," Matt joked back about him making a good redhead. Not that he could actually see to tell, but he liked to think he was getting better at picking up when Kate was trolling him.
Once back in the penthouse he let Lucky off his leash. The dog licked his hand and then went to his water bowl to drink. Matt sipped his coffee and held out the leash for Kate to take and put back where it belonged. He slipped off his shoes and left them by the door.
He was tired, but a part of him didn't want to be alone. Didn't want to be left to his own devices to start thinking on the loss of his powers rather than enjoying the moment with Kate. So when Kate gave him an out, he took it.
"Sofa, maybe? We can put something on. And I did promise you could feel my face. We should probably put away the groceries first, though."
Kate snorted at his suggestion, struggling to believe anyone would ever see him that way. Of course, it took a blind man to make that mistake. "Is that why you said you imagined me as a redhead?" She teased him right back.
Back at the penthouse, Kate toed off her own shoes and simply kicked them in the general area where Matt had left his own. She thanked him, taking Lucky's leash as she gently guided Matt around. "Yeah, the sofa sounds perfect."
Gently touching his elbow, she guided him around, touched by the fact that he remembered something as her request to feel his face in the same way as he had touched hers. "Okay, let's see how many steps it takes to make it to the kitchen. Now I'm super curious about this!"
True to her word, she counted outloud, as they took a turn and walked through the dining room before they made it to the kitchen, where Kate easily took the grocieries, and put away anything that needed to be kept in the fridge or freezer. Lucky followed them, earning a couple more treats from the bag she had left on the counter.
"Do you want something else to drink? Another snack?"
"No, but are you saying I should reconsider?" he joked back easily, because that was better than bringing up how Foggy said Matt tended to surround himself with redheads. Which he didn't. Only some of the time. The statistics were exaggerated in Matt's mind. "How do you feel about white grease paint?"
He let himself be guided with her when back at the penthouse, counting the steps with her to help him memorize the space. He made sure to take steps that he normally would take, or else the count would be off for him. Once inside he let her put away the groceries how she wanted in her fridge and freezer, finishing off his iced coffee. It had helped keep him cool on the walk over, and he did like the sweet edge it had. Not too sweet now on his tongue.
"I think I'm still digesting breakfast, but maybe some waters would be good? I can help carry them." He didn't want to be utterly useless even inside. As she got the water he doted on Lucky who had joined them. "So what are you in the mood to watch? With the caveat don't make it anything you really want me to see. I can't promise I won't pass out during it." He'd try his best but he could feel sleepiness settling in even after his second cup of coffee. Not an immediate need to sleep but the body-tiredness of a long day having been had, or in their case, recovering from many.
Clint would't be around for a couple of days, since a school play had demanded his presence back at home. He had been insistent, asking Kate over and over if she would be okay on her own for the next few days. Right now, as Matt stayed at the penthouse and they both counted their steps outloud and together, she couldn't help but be truly thankful over how she had convinced her mentor than she would be more than fine.
"Sure. There's sparkly or regular water. Either is fine by me." Because as much as she enjoyed her soda, Kate made sure to also keep properly hydrated.
Satisfied as they had their drinks, Kate guided him to the TV room, Lucky leading the way and looking back as if to check if they were following. "Maybe we can watch one of those jazz documentaries you told me about? I'm in the mood for something super chill because I'm probably going to pass out myself."
Matt had opted for regular water with ice, then headed to the living room with Kate and Lucky. As soon as they were there he took a long sip of the water, giving himself some ice to crunch before setting the glass on the coffee table and settling on the sofa. He patted the cushion next to him on one side and Lucky happily obliged, leaping up and settling in a ball next to him with his head resting on Matt's thigh. Giving the dog's head a little scritch Matt nodded and yawned out, "Yeah, that sounds good." He gave Kate the names of a few and let her pick which one she wanted to put on for them.
It wasn't long before jazz began to sing in his ears, a sound he found soothing. He patted the other side of him then for Kate to come join them. "You'll like it," he promised, or at least, he thought she might. Who didn't like jazz?
Taking a cool small bottle of sparkly water for herself, Kate guided Matt to the TV room Clint and Kate used so many nights together. She smiled as Matt made himself comfortable, almost seeming to belong to the spot as he got both Kate and Lucky to join him on the sofa.
Kate, who had been busy with the remote finding the documentaries she'd saved after Matt recommended them, never truly thinking she'd make the time to watch them, was happy to hear the music filling the room. In all honesty? She was far more interested in watching them because Matt had enjoyed them than over what the documetary itself was about.
"It does sound interesting," she offered as she sat by his side, legs tucked under herself as she tried not to lean too closely to him.
The music had filled the room and she managed to stay quiet and pay attention for only a few minutes before she spoke up. "Can I tell you a secret?"
Matt felt the sofa indent on both his sides as Lucky and Kate joined him on the sofa. The dog snuggled right up but Kate kept some friendly space. Still, sandwiched between them Matt felt warm and content, not as frightened as he'd be otherwise just turning over in his head the minutes until his powers returned. He listened to the light thump of Lucky's tail lazily wagging as he petted the dog's head, a soft background beat to the music and commentary that soon filled the room. Matt had seen some of these documentaries many times before but they didn't get old for him. He let his eyes fall closed, it wasn't like he was using them anyway, and merely listened.
When Kate spoke though he reopened his eyes. Head leaning back against the sofa cushions, he tilted it in her direction. His unfocused gaze fell to the left of her face, but he tracked her voice as best he could as he said with assurance, "Yeah, sure. Of course. Wait, does it involve where a body is buried? I don't have a shovel." The last part was said teasingly.
Hugging a cushion to her chest, Kate felt herself losing that stiffness that marked distance between herself and Matt. She was resting her head against the sofa as well, sleep-deprivation making her feel as if her body was melting little by little on the spot.
"Nah, just wondering if you'd take my case as my lawyer or if the buried body is going against me," she played along, smiling lazily as she turned to look at Matt.
It still squeezed her heart a little to see the big bruise the night had left as a souvenir on his face. The spot where he'd received the shot wasn't as swollen as he had been before they passed out together, but it was all looking so much better by now.
Or maybe it was the fact that Matt looked so relaxed? So content.
"Last night was so scary." That cop holding that gun to Matt's face. If Kate had been a few seconds too late...
"But this was the best day I've had in a long time," she confessed quietly. "And I know you're going through a hard time right now, with your powers and all. I feel so bad for having a good time."
Matt sat up a little bit as she talked, though he was careful not to disturb Lucky's head on his lap. Selfishly Matt was enjoying all the dog time he was getting while at Kate's, knowing it'd come to an end when he left until he visited again next time. Kate was generous in letting him play with her dog as much as he was, knowing what a comfort the canine could be.
His stomach dropped a little, face grimacing a touch at the mention of last night. A silent agreement that it had indeed been scary. "I'm sorry I put you in danger." His voice was quiet, and even though he knew that wasn't what Kate had meant, he still felt compelled to say it, to confess. "My abilities were getting harder to control already." He'd been so exhausted his body had already been starting to break. "I thought I had a handle on it, though. Then I just heard this ringing and I didn't recover fast enough, and..." Well. He'd gotten himself shot.
"I shouldn't have put my partner at risk like that. It won't happen again."
He felt along the cushion next to him until he hit her knee, resting his hand upwards to take hers if she wanted. He gave a small smile.
"Today has been a good day. We're alive. I reminded myself how lucky I am most days, to spend today without what I can normally do. Sometimes it does help to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. I got to do that as a blind man, and I got to do that as someone with normal senses to experience what you like. I won't pretend it hasn't been hard, but maybe it's also been a little bit of a blessing."
Almost aware of the shift in the atmosphere, Lucky moved his head on Matt's lap, whimpering as he demanded attention. It was Kate who reached out, stroking the dog soothingly as Matt confessed what he had gone through these last few days. His worries. How that affected him last night. She understood Lucky, as Kate felt like whimpering a little herself.
"You can tell me about those things, Matt," she told him quietly as a soft piano seemed to guide them through their emotions. "I'm not mad or --" Just a little shocked now to hear these news. She had figured that his body was demanding some rest by now, but had no idea that his senses had not been at their best. "Look, this is the whole point of having a partner. I was there for you when you needed me," she offered, hoping to sound a little more hopeful now. A little more positive.
They did get out of that alive, after all.
Without hesitation, Kate founds herself taking Matt's hand, holding tightly onto it as she returned a smile he would never see.
It was his words that did it, though. They brought clarity to a situation in a way she had not anticipated. Because, even though Matt was going through a hard time, at least he had not endured it alone.
That was a big part of having a good partnership too.
"And if we weren't together to share this day, you would have missed out on Frankie, the Punisher French Bulldog," she offered with an almost shy smile, a hint of a laugh. Hopefully the start of something that would be contagious.
Frankie's parents, that lovely couple that had confused them for one of their own. It had been awkward, but incredibly sweet too.
It had been such a good day.
"I like experiencing things the way you do, too. Like... I'm glad you don't find it offensive. The whole, you know, counting steps and stuff. I know I have the privilege of being able to see but..." How could she explain it? "I don't know, I just wanna know what it is like for you."
Matt gave a soft laugh at the mention of Frankie the bulldog. "We should have taken a picture. Sent it to Frank. Maybe that would have gotten him out of hiding." Matt wanted to think that Frank was just in hiding. That he wasn't captured, or worse, dead. He had to keep hope alive, because for all their differences, Frank didn't deserve that. Matt was keeping an ear and eye out, figuratively, but so far he'd heard nothing. They'd just have to keep thinking that no news was good news right now.
He didn't let himself become maudlin, not right now.
With a gentle certainty, he brought Kate's fingers up to his face for her to feel. A silent acknowledgement that, no, he didn't find her wanting to be a part of his world offensive. He knew she'd tread lightly over the parts of his face that were still injured, but he didn't mind her seeing him in this way. The manner in which he could see her.
"I like you seeing the world like I can, as much as it's possible. Just like I want to know how you see the world, too."
"I'll keep an eye out for Frakie and his parents," Kate assured Matt as her voice grew a little quieter, aware of everything that was left unsaid about their fears regarding the human Frank. It had been a while since either of them had said Castle's name outloud. Not since the first few days after the blackout, when they asked almost every night if anyone had heard something about his whereabouts. "It's a good thing Frank likes dogs, because he is gonna hate us for calling him a Frenchie."
She couldn't think of Frank in a past tense.
The Punisher had to be hiding somewhere.
Even though music filled the room, there was an odd quietness to it that Kate couldn't shake off herself now. Maybe it was the uncertainty in the air, or how she still held onto the worry of how Matt had not shared how he'd been feeling lately.
All of that was interrupted as he guided her hand up, letting her touch his face.
She had almost forgotten about this. Had not wanted to ask. To push for it.
"... I like sharing it with you."
Not just the way she saw the world. Everything.
Kate swallowed, letting her fingers spread a little, trailing over his skin as she dared to place her palm against his cheek. She was careful, not putting much pressure, but simply touching him, almost testing how it felt.
Shifting on her spot, she turned to face Matt properly now. Focusing mostly on her fingertips, she allowed them to run with more freedom than ever before as they travelled over his face.
"I feel like I'm cheating a little," she confessed with a shy chuckle. "Like I know what I'm looking for."
Maybe that was why instead of simply being curious, her touch felt more like a caress.
So featherlight, like a caress. Matt wasn't touch-starved, he got plenty of affection from his loved ones, but he always welcomed more. This however was different. More intimate in some way, despite not necessarily being romantic. It was just... loving. Pure and unquestioned. Matt let out a small sigh, eyes closed, leaning a little into Kate's fingertips like it felt good. Which it did.
"Maybe don't think of it in terms of cheating," he said softly, "But instead just let it enhance what's normal for you. It's okay not to see things exactly as I do. Just as I can't see things exactly as you do. Maybe what matters is understanding what we can and finding a middle ground for both of us. I like sharing this with you. I like you knowing me as you do. Sight and all."
His hand came to rest on her shoulder, his other one on Lucky's head. His heartbeat quickened with her touches, a warmth settling over him that made him feel connected and at peace.
"I like my partner knowing me."
It came out like a soft murmur, as he hesitantly let his fingers move from her shoulder up to her own face. He didn't stroke over it all, just let his thumb lightly brush against her cheekbone. To rest at her pulse point on her neck, feeling her heartbeat.
Let it enhance things. "Knowing you beyond the things I can see," Kate murmured as she took in Matt's words, quietly following his guidance.
She hesitated, mostly because she was worried about forgetting which parts of his face were the most tender, fearing she would go beyond the limits. She worried she'd cross a line that would hurt Matt in some way. Kate was well aware that she needed to be careful around him.
'I like my partner knowing me.'
It was nothing, it was harmless. It wasn't a confession. It was nothing but a delusion that made her heart beat so much more faster. Stating facts. They were parters, they were close friends. People who worked best knowing each other, finding understanding without the need for words. This was important, beyond some silly, innocent curiosity.
In her heart, she knew it.
Closing her eyes, Kate dared to reach out with her other hand, her fingertips ghosting over Matt's face as she closed her eyes. She tried to remember what she'd felt on her own face, how his hands had explored it with care. Cheekbones, jawline, his nose. She tried her best not to picture it all in her mind, but let those places suddenly appear as her touch discovered them.
But suddenly, it all went away. Like a scared hare, her heart leaped as Kate felt Matt's hand on the side of her neck, his thumb on her cheek. So close to the corner of her mouth.
It was nothing, Kate.
It meant nothing.
Did it mean he could hear her heartbeat? It was so loud even Kate could pretty much feel it vibrate agaist her chest.
"I..." Kate's lips moved, but the first words that came out of it did quietly, usaid. "I really want to get to know you."
He wanted Kate to know him. To see him in ways that didn't terrify, shame, or anger her. She knew the worst of him. What he was capable of doing. What he had done. She still would stand and fight by his side, she still would laugh and watch TV and eat trash with him, too.
She knew him.
IT felt so good to feel it.
In an ugly way, in a way he would not yet admit or indulge, it was tempting to let her know him in other ways, too.
He felt her heartbeat, but did he dare let her hand slip to his chest to feel his own? It was fast to match.
His voice was low as he let his hand caress the side of her face, to then let it slide down to her hand. Her wrist. "I trust you to know me.
I hope you trust me to know you, too."
That he would never betray her, never use what was between them against her. That he stood at her side. He was her partner.
A kid, a spoiled princess, a brat. A rich bitch who paid her way through college and bribed judges and bought competitions. A quirky, talkative friend who was never afraid to start a conversation with strangers. An overachiever with great grades and a talent for sports. The weird girl obsessed with Clint Barton.
The criminal who had attacked Kingpin.
Hawkeye.
Kate had been called many names. Had even been nothing but a child in his eyes, she knew it. She still couldn't fully shake off that shame she felt over how her stupid sense of humor had angered him at times. How frustrated she had been, so ashamed of her own behavior that holding back tears had been impossible. For how long had Matt feared he'd been to blame for it? For making a girl cry.
Things were different now, though.
It was strange. It wasn't even that long since they reconnected. But these last few months, it felt as if Matt had always been a core part of her life. These days, she couldn't imagine a life in which more than a couple of days passed without them checking on each other, hanging, working together.
Matt saw her differently now. Deep down, Kate was sure of it. She could have sworn it.
Kate's lips parted as she took a deep breath. She was aware. His beard was a little prickly as she traced it with her thumb, a sensation that pulled on the corners of her mouth. Her smile, wide now, brushed Matt's palm like a collateral kiss. Kate found herself leaning into his touch, craving more.
"I trust you with my life," she said softly, almost joyful. Because that was a leap she wasn't afraid to take. It was a choice she was happy to make every day. Every night.
Her legs shifted, her knee touching the top of his lap shyly.
It would take a second, nothing more than that. Straddling him. Taking another leap of faith.
No.
Kate shifted again, pulling her leg back, sitting on it more upright.
Kate felt her heart, so swollen by now it almost hurt, compressed by her chest. Mainly, because she knew that Matt meant every word.
It was probably wise, the way they both stepped back, how she'd taken her hands off his face. She regretted it a little, feeling like she hadn't accomplished what she wanted. She had been so distracted that... She hadn't really been able to concentrate so much, had not learned truly how to memorize his face through her touch.
Was this a wasted chance?
Everything felt so confusing. Was her mind playing tricks? Was her heart setting up illusions?
"Well..." At least she could focus on something else now. Something safer. "I think we established now that your body is really trying to send you some signals." Not able to help herself, she ran her hand through his hair.
Surely Matt would feel the shift on the sofa though, as Kate slipped away. Lucky, always faithful, followed. She came back to him, encouraging him to lay down as she placed a big, softer cushion for him to use as a pillow. It was less sturdy than the ones they were leaning against before.
With Matt now laying on the loveseat, Kate moved to stretch out on the corner piece of the L-shaped sofa. She placed a cushion for herself, one that leaned against Matt's. Laying on her stomach, she watched him, the top of his head, his ruffled hair. His hand, tucked. Her hand, laid close to his.
"Yeah. Well, it's better than last time's signals. I went completely deaf for awhile." He could still remember the absolute terror he'd felt, like he'd permanently lost another sense and with it, all of the special gifts he'd been granted. That he'd be both blind and deaf the rest of his life. It was only by the grace of God and Luke's skillful suit-making that this time it hadn't been as bad as that or worse. "But you're right. I should listen to my body more." Should being the operative word. He knew he'd always push himself, would always work harder than he probably should. Yet there clearly was a line, and that line was when pushing himself put his friend at risk.
He felt her fingers thread through his hair and he let out a sigh, his eyes momentarily closing. The sensation was gone swiftly, and while he missed it, he knew better than to ask for its return.
Matt laid down, listening as best he could to Kate's movements. He couldn't track her like normal, and he longed for the return of his abilities when he might. Still, she was back before too long. Once she'd laid down he settled down too, not a moment before. The dog, of course, joined them as well, more than happy for a nap. Matt let the music and the sound of breathing sweep over him, his eyes growing heavy, and before long he'd slipped back into a deep sleep.
How much time passed he couldn't tell, but he awoke with an empty stomach and a full bladder, so he figured it had to have been a few hours. Groggy and disoriented, trying to separate dreams from reality, he rubbed a hand over his face an groggily called out, "Kate?"
It had been a much needed nap. The sort that feels refreshing, dreamless and that leaves you feeling disoriented when you wake up. Kate would have sworn that only a few minutes had passed by since she had been watching Matt. Slowly taken away by sleep, his heavy-eyelids finally closing, his hand so near hers when Kate herself was conquered by her own exhaustion.
It was the buzzing of her phone that did it, the loud vibration on the coffee table. The penthouse was a little darker, the one sign that time had passed by. Kate instantly turned to check on Matt, now laying on his back and stirring probably because of how her phone demanded attention.
Grabbing it and noticing she had a couple of voice messages, Kate walked out of the room. Lucky, always faithful even when a little groggy, hopped off the sofa and followed her. It was Lucky who, a little later, warned her that Matt was awake, after Kate herself made a quick stop by the half-bathroom that was the closest to the TV room. She was just done peeing and washing her face - as she had been clearly drooling on her sleep - as Lucky's insistance caught her attention. "Matt?"
Was he up? Had his powers returned? Was he still powerless and dangerously wandering around he penthouse?
She was relieved to find him still on the sofa.
"Matt, are you okay?" She asked after noticing his eyes were open, approaching his side. After a moment of hesitation, she asked: "How are you feeling?"
[OOC: I figure we can let him try Kate's noodles and the pizza rolls, give him his powers back during that, and close the scene out then? He has to get to try her noodles, LOL. But as he's eating them I'll have his powers show up again.]
Matt slowly came to sit up. His tongue felt thick in his mouth, that cotton sensation from a deep sleep. The cobwebs were slowly clearing from his mind, though. At hearing Kate's voice he relaxed, knowing she was in the room and at his side again. The panting too was a familiar sound, and Matt smiled a little. He reached out to find Lucky's head and gave it a few reassuring pats. At Kate's question though he knew what she was really asking. His heart sank a little as he shook his head no, saying softly, "Nothing yet."
He felt better. Stronger. Still he didn't have his powers, though. He tried to disregard that feeling in the pit of his stomach, reaching out to offer his hand to Kate. "It's gonna be okay, though. Promise. They'll come back." Was he reassuring her or both of them?
"How are you feeling, though? Everything all right?"
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streetlevel) wrote2024-12-23 08:39 pm
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Either way he reached out to lightly find her arm and gave it a squeeze, glad to then hear her laugh as the topic went to a lighter one. He didn't forget though, tucking it away for later.
"Why wouldn't I keep them?" he asked in a faux-innocent voice, straightening his new glasses as they started to talk back. "My partner whom I trust in all things told me that I should wear them. She'd never steer me wrong, would she? I must look great."
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Because, as terrifying as the night was, as much as she feared what would happen with his powers, Matt had made her day an incredible one. Only now did Kate realize she had not had this kind of fun in a long time.
"You do look great!" Kate was quick to agree. "Sure, I mean... Being classy is probably in the eye of the beholder." He probably shouldn't consider taking the joke and his guilt-tripping to the extreme of showing up at work with them, but then Kate figured that wasn't really a concern. "But you make everything look great, so..." Her shoulder bounced in a shrug.
God, had that sounded wrong?
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As they walked he was clearly getting a little weary, but he did make them stop so that he could get that Vietnamese iced coffee for Walter. He also got some for himself and for Kate if she wanted. The caffeine and sugar helped perk him up a little on the trek back, and Walter seemed pleased by it which made Matt happy. They chatted for a few minutes with him before heading up the stairs.
"Woah, buddy." Lucky was clearly not tired yet as he was ready to bound down the hall. "I know air conditioning is exciting right now, we'll get there soon, I promise."
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It meant nothing.
As they made their way back home - back to her home -, Kate thanked Matt again for spoiling her by getting her a drink, aside from what was promised for Walter. She could tell that the busy night they had was finally catching up with Matt though and, even though she tried to distract him by making new stories abouy the people around them, they soon made their way back to the penthouse.
"Hey, would you like to lie down for a while? We didn't sleep much."
And yet, it was hard to forget how he had insisted on sharing that bean bag. How cold she had been, how Matt had embraced her and rubbed her body, keeping her warm. Kate passed out and woke up feeling so refreshed, so comfortable. It had felt like the best sleep she'd had in months.
"You're welcome to use the bedroom or we can watch something and pass out or whatever. We have a few couches, there's this really comfortable L-shaped one in the TV room."
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Once back in the penthouse he let Lucky off his leash. The dog licked his hand and then went to his water bowl to drink. Matt sipped his coffee and held out the leash for Kate to take and put back where it belonged. He slipped off his shoes and left them by the door.
He was tired, but a part of him didn't want to be alone. Didn't want to be left to his own devices to start thinking on the loss of his powers rather than enjoying the moment with Kate. So when Kate gave him an out, he took it.
"Sofa, maybe? We can put something on. And I did promise you could feel my face. We should probably put away the groceries first, though."
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Back at the penthouse, Kate toed off her own shoes and simply kicked them in the general area where Matt had left his own. She thanked him, taking Lucky's leash as she gently guided Matt around. "Yeah, the sofa sounds perfect."
Gently touching his elbow, she guided him around, touched by the fact that he remembered something as her request to feel his face in the same way as he had touched hers. "Okay, let's see how many steps it takes to make it to the kitchen. Now I'm super curious about this!"
True to her word, she counted outloud, as they took a turn and walked through the dining room before they made it to the kitchen, where Kate easily took the grocieries, and put away anything that needed to be kept in the fridge or freezer. Lucky followed them, earning a couple more treats from the bag she had left on the counter.
"Do you want something else to drink? Another snack?"
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He let himself be guided with her when back at the penthouse, counting the steps with her to help him memorize the space. He made sure to take steps that he normally would take, or else the count would be off for him. Once inside he let her put away the groceries how she wanted in her fridge and freezer, finishing off his iced coffee. It had helped keep him cool on the walk over, and he did like the sweet edge it had. Not too sweet now on his tongue.
"I think I'm still digesting breakfast, but maybe some waters would be good? I can help carry them." He didn't want to be utterly useless even inside. As she got the water he doted on Lucky who had joined them. "So what are you in the mood to watch? With the caveat don't make it anything you really want me to see. I can't promise I won't pass out during it." He'd try his best but he could feel sleepiness settling in even after his second cup of coffee. Not an immediate need to sleep but the body-tiredness of a long day having been had, or in their case, recovering from many.
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"Sure. There's sparkly or regular water. Either is fine by me." Because as much as she enjoyed her soda, Kate made sure to also keep properly hydrated.
Satisfied as they had their drinks, Kate guided him to the TV room, Lucky leading the way and looking back as if to check if they were following. "Maybe we can watch one of those jazz documentaries you told me about? I'm in the mood for something super chill because I'm probably going to pass out myself."
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It wasn't long before jazz began to sing in his ears, a sound he found soothing. He patted the other side of him then for Kate to come join them. "You'll like it," he promised, or at least, he thought she might. Who didn't like jazz?
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Kate, who had been busy with the remote finding the documentaries she'd saved after Matt recommended them, never truly thinking she'd make the time to watch them, was happy to hear the music filling the room. In all honesty? She was far more interested in watching them because Matt had enjoyed them than over what the documetary itself was about.
"It does sound interesting," she offered as she sat by his side, legs tucked under herself as she tried not to lean too closely to him.
The music had filled the room and she managed to stay quiet and pay attention for only a few minutes before she spoke up. "Can I tell you a secret?"
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When Kate spoke though he reopened his eyes. Head leaning back against the sofa cushions, he tilted it in her direction. His unfocused gaze fell to the left of her face, but he tracked her voice as best he could as he said with assurance, "Yeah, sure. Of course. Wait, does it involve where a body is buried? I don't have a shovel." The last part was said teasingly.
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"Nah, just wondering if you'd take my case as my lawyer or if the buried body is going against me," she played along, smiling lazily as she turned to look at Matt.
It still squeezed her heart a little to see the big bruise the night had left as a souvenir on his face. The spot where he'd received the shot wasn't as swollen as he had been before they passed out together, but it was all looking so much better by now.
Or maybe it was the fact that Matt looked so relaxed? So content.
"Last night was so scary." That cop holding that gun to Matt's face. If Kate had been a few seconds too late...
"But this was the best day I've had in a long time," she confessed quietly. "And I know you're going through a hard time right now, with your powers and all. I feel so bad for having a good time."
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His stomach dropped a little, face grimacing a touch at the mention of last night. A silent agreement that it had indeed been scary. "I'm sorry I put you in danger." His voice was quiet, and even though he knew that wasn't what Kate had meant, he still felt compelled to say it, to confess. "My abilities were getting harder to control already." He'd been so exhausted his body had already been starting to break. "I thought I had a handle on it, though. Then I just heard this ringing and I didn't recover fast enough, and..." Well. He'd gotten himself shot.
"I shouldn't have put my partner at risk like that. It won't happen again."
He felt along the cushion next to him until he hit her knee, resting his hand upwards to take hers if she wanted. He gave a small smile.
"Today has been a good day. We're alive. I reminded myself how lucky I am most days, to spend today without what I can normally do. Sometimes it does help to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. I got to do that as a blind man, and I got to do that as someone with normal senses to experience what you like. I won't pretend it hasn't been hard, but maybe it's also been a little bit of a blessing."
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"You can tell me about those things, Matt," she told him quietly as a soft piano seemed to guide them through their emotions. "I'm not mad or --" Just a little shocked now to hear these news. She had figured that his body was demanding some rest by now, but had no idea that his senses had not been at their best. "Look, this is the whole point of having a partner. I was there for you when you needed me," she offered, hoping to sound a little more hopeful now. A little more positive.
They did get out of that alive, after all.
Without hesitation, Kate founds herself taking Matt's hand, holding tightly onto it as she returned a smile he would never see.
It was his words that did it, though. They brought clarity to a situation in a way she had not anticipated. Because, even though Matt was going through a hard time, at least he had not endured it alone.
That was a big part of having a good partnership too.
"And if we weren't together to share this day, you would have missed out on Frankie, the Punisher French Bulldog," she offered with an almost shy smile, a hint of a laugh. Hopefully the start of something that would be contagious.
Frankie's parents, that lovely couple that had confused them for one of their own. It had been awkward, but incredibly sweet too.
It had been such a good day.
"I like experiencing things the way you do, too. Like... I'm glad you don't find it offensive. The whole, you know, counting steps and stuff. I know I have the privilege of being able to see but..." How could she explain it? "I don't know, I just wanna know what it is like for you."
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He didn't let himself become maudlin, not right now.
With a gentle certainty, he brought Kate's fingers up to his face for her to feel. A silent acknowledgement that, no, he didn't find her wanting to be a part of his world offensive. He knew she'd tread lightly over the parts of his face that were still injured, but he didn't mind her seeing him in this way. The manner in which he could see her.
"I like you seeing the world like I can, as much as it's possible. Just like I want to know how you see the world, too."
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She couldn't think of Frank in a past tense.
The Punisher had to be hiding somewhere.
Even though music filled the room, there was an odd quietness to it that Kate couldn't shake off herself now. Maybe it was the uncertainty in the air, or how she still held onto the worry of how Matt had not shared how he'd been feeling lately.
All of that was interrupted as he guided her hand up, letting her touch his face.
She had almost forgotten about this. Had not wanted to ask. To push for it.
"... I like sharing it with you."
Not just the way she saw the world. Everything.
Kate swallowed, letting her fingers spread a little, trailing over his skin as she dared to place her palm against his cheek. She was careful, not putting much pressure, but simply touching him, almost testing how it felt.
Shifting on her spot, she turned to face Matt properly now. Focusing mostly on her fingertips, she allowed them to run with more freedom than ever before as they travelled over his face.
"I feel like I'm cheating a little," she confessed with a shy chuckle. "Like I know what I'm looking for."
Maybe that was why instead of simply being curious, her touch felt more like a caress.
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"Maybe don't think of it in terms of cheating," he said softly, "But instead just let it enhance what's normal for you. It's okay not to see things exactly as I do. Just as I can't see things exactly as you do. Maybe what matters is understanding what we can and finding a middle ground for both of us. I like sharing this with you. I like you knowing me as you do. Sight and all."
His hand came to rest on her shoulder, his other one on Lucky's head. His heartbeat quickened with her touches, a warmth settling over him that made him feel connected and at peace.
"I like my partner knowing me."
It came out like a soft murmur, as he hesitantly let his fingers move from her shoulder up to her own face. He didn't stroke over it all, just let his thumb lightly brush against her cheekbone. To rest at her pulse point on her neck, feeling her heartbeat.
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She hesitated, mostly because she was worried about forgetting which parts of his face were the most tender, fearing she would go beyond the limits. She worried she'd cross a line that would hurt Matt in some way. Kate was well aware that she needed to be careful around him.
'I like my partner knowing me.'
It was nothing, it was harmless. It wasn't a confession. It was nothing but a delusion that made her heart beat so much more faster. Stating facts. They were parters, they were close friends. People who worked best knowing each other, finding understanding without the need for words. This was important, beyond some silly, innocent curiosity.
In her heart, she knew it.
Closing her eyes, Kate dared to reach out with her other hand, her fingertips ghosting over Matt's face as she closed her eyes. She tried to remember what she'd felt on her own face, how his hands had explored it with care. Cheekbones, jawline, his nose. She tried her best not to picture it all in her mind, but let those places suddenly appear as her touch discovered them.
But suddenly, it all went away. Like a scared hare, her heart leaped as Kate felt Matt's hand on the side of her neck, his thumb on her cheek. So close to the corner of her mouth.
It was nothing, Kate.
It meant nothing.
Did it mean he could hear her heartbeat? It was so loud even Kate could pretty much feel it vibrate agaist her chest.
"I..." Kate's lips moved, but the first words that came out of it did quietly, usaid. "I really want to get to know you."
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He wanted Kate to know him. To see him in ways that didn't terrify, shame, or anger her. She knew the worst of him. What he was capable of doing. What he had done. She still would stand and fight by his side, she still would laugh and watch TV and eat trash with him, too.
She knew him.
IT felt so good to feel it.
In an ugly way, in a way he would not yet admit or indulge, it was tempting to let her know him in other ways, too.
He felt her heartbeat, but did he dare let her hand slip to his chest to feel his own? It was fast to match.
His voice was low as he let his hand caress the side of her face, to then let it slide down to her hand. Her wrist. "I trust you to know me.
I hope you trust me to know you, too."
That he would never betray her, never use what was between them against her. That he stood at her side. He was her partner.
It meant nothing.
It was everything.
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A kid, a spoiled princess, a brat. A rich bitch who paid her way through college and bribed judges and bought competitions. A quirky, talkative friend who was never afraid to start a conversation with strangers. An overachiever with great grades and a talent for sports. The weird girl obsessed with Clint Barton.
The criminal who had attacked Kingpin.
Hawkeye.
Kate had been called many names. Had even been nothing but a child in his eyes, she knew it. She still couldn't fully shake off that shame she felt over how her stupid sense of humor had angered him at times. How frustrated she had been, so ashamed of her own behavior that holding back tears had been impossible. For how long had Matt feared he'd been to blame for it? For making a girl cry.
Things were different now, though.
It was strange. It wasn't even that long since they reconnected. But these last few months, it felt as if Matt had always been a core part of her life. These days, she couldn't imagine a life in which more than a couple of days passed without them checking on each other, hanging, working together.
Matt saw her differently now. Deep down, Kate was sure of it. She could have sworn it.
Kate's lips parted as she took a deep breath. She was aware. His beard was a little prickly as she traced it with her thumb, a sensation that pulled on the corners of her mouth. Her smile, wide now, brushed Matt's palm like a collateral kiss. Kate found herself leaning into his touch, craving more.
"I trust you with my life," she said softly, almost joyful. Because that was a leap she wasn't afraid to take. It was a choice she was happy to make every day. Every night.
Her legs shifted, her knee touching the top of his lap shyly.
It would take a second, nothing more than that. Straddling him. Taking another leap of faith.
No.
Kate shifted again, pulling her leg back, sitting on it more upright.
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He lightly stroked her cheek, giving her the touch she needed, that they both craved, before each pulled back before it went too far.
"I'll protect it with my own," he promised in return.
The air felt saturated, but not heavy. He sucked in a breath and let his head fall back against the cushion.
He listened to Armstrong play. Lucky seemed to have quieted, too.
His body felt heavy and leaden. Sleepy. His eyes were half-lidded. "I don't usually get tired this fast."
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It was probably wise, the way they both stepped back, how she'd taken her hands off his face. She regretted it a little, feeling like she hadn't accomplished what she wanted. She had been so distracted that... She hadn't really been able to concentrate so much, had not learned truly how to memorize his face through her touch.
Was this a wasted chance?
Everything felt so confusing. Was her mind playing tricks? Was her heart setting up illusions?
"Well..." At least she could focus on something else now. Something safer. "I think we established now that your body is really trying to send you some signals." Not able to help herself, she ran her hand through his hair.
Surely Matt would feel the shift on the sofa though, as Kate slipped away. Lucky, always faithful, followed. She came back to him, encouraging him to lay down as she placed a big, softer cushion for him to use as a pillow. It was less sturdy than the ones they were leaning against before.
With Matt now laying on the loveseat, Kate moved to stretch out on the corner piece of the L-shaped sofa. She placed a cushion for herself, one that leaned against Matt's. Laying on her stomach, she watched him, the top of his head, his ruffled hair. His hand, tucked. Her hand, laid close to his.
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He felt her fingers thread through his hair and he let out a sigh, his eyes momentarily closing. The sensation was gone swiftly, and while he missed it, he knew better than to ask for its return.
Matt laid down, listening as best he could to Kate's movements. He couldn't track her like normal, and he longed for the return of his abilities when he might. Still, she was back before too long. Once she'd laid down he settled down too, not a moment before. The dog, of course, joined them as well, more than happy for a nap. Matt let the music and the sound of breathing sweep over him, his eyes growing heavy, and before long he'd slipped back into a deep sleep.
How much time passed he couldn't tell, but he awoke with an empty stomach and a full bladder, so he figured it had to have been a few hours. Groggy and disoriented, trying to separate dreams from reality, he rubbed a hand over his face an groggily called out, "Kate?"
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It was the buzzing of her phone that did it, the loud vibration on the coffee table. The penthouse was a little darker, the one sign that time had passed by. Kate instantly turned to check on Matt, now laying on his back and stirring probably because of how her phone demanded attention.
Grabbing it and noticing she had a couple of voice messages, Kate walked out of the room. Lucky, always faithful even when a little groggy, hopped off the sofa and followed her. It was Lucky who, a little later, warned her that Matt was awake, after Kate herself made a quick stop by the half-bathroom that was the closest to the TV room. She was just done peeing and washing her face - as she had been clearly drooling on her sleep - as Lucky's insistance caught her attention. "Matt?"
Was he up? Had his powers returned? Was he still powerless and dangerously wandering around he penthouse?
She was relieved to find him still on the sofa.
"Matt, are you okay?" She asked after noticing his eyes were open, approaching his side. After a moment of hesitation, she asked: "How are you feeling?"
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Matt slowly came to sit up. His tongue felt thick in his mouth, that cotton sensation from a deep sleep. The cobwebs were slowly clearing from his mind, though. At hearing Kate's voice he relaxed, knowing she was in the room and at his side again. The panting too was a familiar sound, and Matt smiled a little. He reached out to find Lucky's head and gave it a few reassuring pats. At Kate's question though he knew what she was really asking. His heart sank a little as he shook his head no, saying softly, "Nothing yet."
He felt better. Stronger. Still he didn't have his powers, though. He tried to disregard that feeling in the pit of his stomach, reaching out to offer his hand to Kate. "It's gonna be okay, though. Promise. They'll come back." Was he reassuring her or both of them?
"How are you feeling, though? Everything all right?"
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