Yeah, I guess so. I feel a lot of things can't be fully appreciated in the moment. As for hair color... purple?

Not to avoid crumbs in bed, though.

Well. Most of the world's population is dark haired, so I should say dark hair. But you know I like to live dangerously, so I'll go with... red?

What gave it away? When I turned into a frog?

I remember I had dark hair. I don't remember how dark it used to be.

I'm chill. I'm not yelling. I'm too tired to yell. And I do want to feed some ducks.

No. Well, I mean sometimes people will say things like 'I love your brown eyes' but nobody's gone out of their way to describe me. To be fair, I've never asked. You'll have to let me know if our hair matches or not.

Not bread, though. It's not healthy for them.

Not even them, no. Like I said, sometimes little details would come up naturally, but nobody's sat back and described me like a book character. It's all right. If I'm covered in moles then maybe it's better I don't know.

It isn't, it's empty calories even for them. Google is telling me that it's better to feed them cracked corn, oats, rice, birdseed, frozen peas, chopped lettuce, and sliced grapes.

... maybe that should be done in person. In case you forget what I look like over the phone.

I'm still trying to figure out why rice is on the list. It's also pretty much empty carbs. Don't get me wrong, I love rice, but it by itself does not a meal make.

Of course it also gives you more time to think up ways to troll me, so. Dilemma.

Case in point. Now I want Peking Duck and I feel incredibly guilty about it. At least you share Lucky with me. I can play with him and not feel guilty since I don't eat dog.

My looks are in that shabby shape, huh? I am a little behind in shaving, I'll admit that.

I can't go vegan, either. Sometimes I just really want a cheeseburger. Or a duck confit enchilada.

You're not a horrible person. You're not even wrong that I do need to clean up a little.

I do make really good Korean fried chicken.

... I swear I wasn't fishing for compliments, but that's good to know. I still don't like letting myself get quite this scruffy.

[He holds the phone away from his ear for a moment with a wince, but good to know she approves of his choices.]

It takes a day to prep, we have to plan it in advance.